lauren laughs

comfort food

2011-10-30T20:31:00.000-05:00

friday night jay and i were home alone after a rare day spent together (we were both off on the same day, hooray!) we felt pretty good after seeing one of our charlotte friends at lunch, purchasing some things off our registry for the house (seems no one wanted to give us the bathroom trashcan!), and ordering a pair of warm fuzzy boots to accompany lauren on many nyc walks this winter. but as pleased as we were, we couldn't deny the slight twinge of homesickness--knowing half our charlotte friends were gathering at thomason's house to send off the kinlo's, and the other half would be gathering at hudzik's house the next night. a random commercial flashed a picture of the charlotte city skyline. we looked at each other with frowny faces and tears in our eyes.

and then we started cooking. because really, we had just enjoyed an awesome day in nyc.

for dinner we made shepherd's pie with a twist.
in a skillet, brown:
onion
garlic
1 lb lean ground turkey
carrots
then season it with:
ketchup
rosemary
ground pepper
add some beef stock to it and let it simmer.

add two potatoes and two turnips (chopped) to a pot of water, bring to a boil, and cook for 15 minutes.

spread meat mixture into a two quart pyrex dish. spread 2 cups frozen peas on top.

drain "neeps and tatties" and mash 'em with a little butter. we added 1/2 cup grated sharp cheddar to the mash.

spread the mash mixture on top of meat and peas, sprinkle another 1/2 cup cheese on top.
bake uncovered at 375F for 35 minutes. let it sit (and cool) for a bit before serving.

while the shepherd's pie was in the oven, we made up some apple muffins. my girlfriend bethany turned me onto an awesome food blog called smitten kitchen, where i found my inspiration for these muffins. our edited recipe follows:

1.5 cups whole wheat flour
1/2 cup oats
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon cinnamon
1/2 cup apple sauce
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup local honey
1/4 cup white sugar
1 egg
1 cup plain yogurt
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 large apples, peeled and chopped

we mixed all the dry ingredients together (next time i think we'll do equal parts flour and oats) in a large bowl and all the wet ingredients together in a small bowl. we added the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients, mixed it up, and then folded in the apples. i cut my apples way too chunky--i was shocked the muffins came out at all! the batter really fills in the space around the apples once it bakes, but i still think i'll chop up smaller apple chunks next time.

spoon batter into muffin tins and bake at 450F for 10 minutes, and then 400F for 5 minutes (note that baking at two different temperatures is difficult on a micro-oven, but it can be done!)

by the time we finished eating our shepherd's pie, the first batch of warm apple muffins were out of the oven. we made 16 muffins, but immediately took 4 of them to keith as an excuse to meet his new puppy chloe, and to say sorry for accidentally missing yoga the night before! baked goods are made to share.

i should add that our playlist for the evening included the soundtrack from lion king (the musical) as well as eddie money. my apologies to the neighbors if they heard us singing!

cooking, cuts and crazies

2011-10-27T21:27:00.000-05:00

ok. things we've made: cabbage and apples, soup and roasted winter veggies.

for the cabbage i just cut one apple, one head of cabbage, and half an onion and sauteed it in some olive oil, salt and pepper over medium heat. oh, and i added a dash (and i mean dash) of cumin for some kick and a double dash of cinnamon. it was yummy, but i cut the crap out of my thumb. it's healing.

then i made some soup because i needed to finish off our CSA veggies (it's hard to use them up when jay is working nights). i'm not sold on any recipe yet, but i'll just tell you that i sauteed some peppers (including half a habanero), garlic and onions with some spicy turkey sausage. i added 4 small potatoes and a turnip, diced, then some chicken stock, and then every other veggie i could find (cabbage, tomato, carrots, green beans) and let it simmer half an hour. by the time my girlfriend farrell came over with a bottle of wine and jay came home with a loaf of crunchy bread, we were set. the habanero definitely kicked the spice up a notch.

today jay and i went to "the lobster place" at chelsea market and we were totally overwhelmed by the types of fish they offer. we opted for something mostly prepared--the salmon burgers. yummy.

at home i chopped up some butternut squash, some other kind of short squatty yellow squash, some cauliflower and a little garlic. i tossed it with some olive oil, sage, little bit of curry and paprika. i roasted it all on a cookie sheet at 450F for 40 minutes (i probably could have taken the veggies out at 30 minutes, but jay was on a run, so i let them roast a little longer). the salmon patties were cooked in a skillet over medium heat for five minutes on either side. easy peasy.

i'm pretty excited we have local tomatoes that still taste like tomatoes in october, so i sliced that up too. this meal was special enough to break out the place-mats and napkins boriana and julie gave us for our wedding. and a bottle of wine from william, aerated with our snazzy wine thingy from anna and laurel. other than accidentally missing yoga (sorry keith), it was a great night.

we're still cookin'.

almost forgot the part about crazies--i was ecstatic when farhan called to say he was visiting a school up here and wanted to crash our living room floor. oh, how our friends get us through our homesickness! but towards the end of a great visit, farhan and i were exiting the c-train at 23rd street when some dude in aviators walked up and swung at farhan's face. i don't think farhan dodged the punch, i think the guy just missed... i think maybe he just wanted to scare us? he definitely scared me. and the one word that came out of my mouth in that moment was... "GOSH!" (gosh? really?) at which point the guy started yelling at me and threatening to spit in my face. farhan and i were (and are) totally ok, but like i said, crazy. it was a total fluke, and i know people that have lived here for years that have never seen such things. and i know the same could have happened just as easily in charlotte or even little lexington. nonetheless, jay ordered some pepper spray for me to carry around. and i will carry it with full knowledge that i'll likely never have to use it.

so that's the scoop. i cooked some veggies, i cut my thumb, i met a crazed dude.

butternut stuffed deliciousness

2011-10-17T20:34:00.002-05:00

jay went to union square to pick up our CSA goodies today and came back with a colorful array of local produce--hooray!

when he saw we had a bunch of peppers and an onion he decided to pick up some turkey sausage to go with. i came home from class (after taking my first midterm, yay!) and cracked open my "simply in season" mennonite cookbook that mary carroll introduced me to a couple of years ago. i turned to the fall recipes and came across a stuffed acorn squash recipe, which was enough to inspire our own creation. here's what we did...

cut butternut squash lengthwise and spoon out the guts.

place squash rind up on cookie sheet and bake for 40 minutes at 350F.

while squash is cooking, squeeze spicy turkey sausage out of casings and cook over medium-high heat. before it gets too brown, add onion and red pepper.

take squash out of oven, stuff it, and put it back in oven for 10 minutes at 375F. note that butternut squash doesn't leave a lot of room for stuffing--don't let that slow you down.

while the stuffed squash was baking we blanched some green beans.

and voila! jay and i couldn't believe the flavor. was it the turkey sausage that was so good? or the squash? we decided it was the two together--a perfect marriage of deliciousness.

next adventure--i'm thinking some kind of smorgasbord soup.

neeps and tatties

2011-10-12T21:24:00.003-05:00

i wasn't really sure what to do with turnips until my upstairs neighbor william told me about a scottish dish called "neeps and tatties"... huh?

i looked it up and the simplest recipe i found was actually on an english blog--sure the scots would just love that. they even reversed the name to tatties and neeps! so here's what we did:

take a turnip and some potatoes (we just used what was in our CSA bag o' produce), chop them into small chunks, add them to water, bring water to a boil and let boil for 15 minutes. the recipe said to peal the potatoes, but we like our tatties with the skins on. drain the potatoes and turnip well, mash 'em up with a bit 'o butter. the recipe called for fresh chives, but jay couldn't find any, so we used dried chives and marjoram. fresh stuff next time!

our neeps and tatties were delicious along side some bbq chicken and yellow beans. the chicken was prepared with bbq sauce from mac's in charlotte (YUM!) and it turns out jay doesn't like dark meat... so more for me!! the yellow beans were also in our CSA bag 'o produce. we just blanched them and added some lemon juice. all that and a glass of wine made for a pretty balanced meal.

and we get to say we made neeps and tatties.

fall break = fall baking

2011-10-11T16:57:00.000-05:00

i'm on fall break--meaning i've had no classes friday through tuesday. can you tell? i have time to cook/bake/blog??

i get a little nervous every time i walk past the library and see it full of peeps studying while i spend a little qt with my still "new" hubby. but if i were intended to work the whole time, they'd call this long weekend "reading days" instead of "fall BREAK" right?

and so jay and i made pumpkin oatmeal chocolate chip muffins for breakfast.
i borrowed the recipe from fitsugar and then made it my own, as everyone should when baking!

ingredients we used

1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
1 1/2 cups old fashioned oats
1/2 cup organic brown sugar + 1/4 cup honey
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1 15oz can pumpkin
3 tablespoons apple sauce
one egg + one egg white
1/4 cup almond milk
1/2 cup chocolate chips
1/2 cup chopped walnuts

how to make 'em

preheat oven to 375 degrees F and line muffin tin with muffin cups.
mix dry ingredients in large bowl
mix wet ingredients in medium bowl
add wet stuff to dry stuff and fold in chocolate chips and walnuts
fill up muffin cups and bake 18 minutes

made 15 delicious (and pretty darn healthy) muffins

here is our "oven" which doubles as a micro-wave. (or it's a micro-wave that doubles as an oven). it is very space efficient! it does not toast or broil though. and you can't fit multiple things in it, so you have to plan ahead. we are learning to make it work!

things i learned: we're out of agave, oops! i meant to use agave instead of sugar/honey. also, i like to use apple sauce as a substitute for oil. because we have the world's smallest fridge and can't be storing apple sauce at all times, i bought those mini apple sauce servings you would throw in your lunch bag. they don't have to be refrigerated, and they're usually about the same amount as what you'll need for baking anyway (1 cup). also, if you eat these muffins right out of the oven, you are bound to get some melted chocolate on your face. mm hmm.

thoughts for next time: the muffins stuck to the paper cups a little--alicia recommended a recipe that suggested spraying cups with coconut oil first? i need to learn more about coconut oil!

keepin' it local in the kitchenette

2011-10-10T20:52:00.000-05:00

there's no question about it: cooking in a kitchenette sucks. and yet we have all these nifty wedding gift kitchen gadgets, accompanied by notes from friends encouraging us to cook together, and we do enjoy cooking. i did a search of "how to cook in a small kitchen" or "cooking in nyc" but everything i came across included a full-size fridge and a kitchen you could actually walk into--oh to be so lucky!

so we're creating our own resource for kitchenette cookers. we'll see if it ends up being any help to anyone--at least it will get us out to our local markets and into the "kitchen!"

we ventured over to the green market at union square today. jay was psyched to discover red jacket orchards from his home in upstate new york, so we bought their apples. we walked past every stall before stopping for lunch to discuss our plan of action. we fully intended to get some eggplant, squash, tomatoes, peppers, onions, and garlic... but then jay got distracted by some goat's milk ice cream (yum) and i got distracted talking to a farmer. turns out the central valley farm out of asbury, nj has a CSA option that is very city-friendly.

CSA stands for community supported agriculture--and if you don't already know about it, i encourage you to learn more. most CSAs i've encountered have included so much local farm fresh produce, i would never get around to eating it all. most CSAs also ask that you pay for the entire season upfront--this is what ensures the farmer that his/her crops will be viable in the coming season. buyers are like share-holders that keep local farming alive. but central valley farm has a CSA program that allows us to buy one bag of produce--whatever is fresh off the farm that week--for $20. and you only pay on the weeks you need it--no up-front commitment. because jay and i had already bought apples and ice cream, we only had $18 remaining, which the farmer was happy to accept knowing he'd just secured a new weekly (or bi-weekly) patron.

one thing i like about CSA is that it takes the decision making out of produce-shopping. i hate making decisions! instead we just take what's fresh (this week it's spaghetti squash, tomato, bell pepper, yellow string beans, potatoes, a turnip and a head of lettuce) and get creative cooking with it.

so tonight's dinner:

we took the spaghetti squash, cut it in half length-wise, scraped out the pulp and seeds, placed it on a cookie sheet rind-up, and baked it at 375 for 40 minutes.

jay cut organic chicken thighs into pieces and threw them in a large skillet. at that point we realized we had no olive oil in the house (gasp!!!) nor did we have onion or garlic--next time we'll include those ingredients, but you work with what you've got.

once the chicken pieces were browned but tender, we turned down the heat and added diced tomatoes and bell pepper, seasoning it with salt, pepper, oregano and red pepper flakes.

we took the squash out of the "oven" (i'll have to take a picture of our combination microwave/oven sometime) and used a fork to pull the strands of squash from the rind. we added it to the skillet, mixed it all together and served it up.

it was delicious. shredded parm kicks it up a notch.

things we learned: we need olive oil, onion and garlic (how have we survived without these essentials for 2 months??) we also learned that using the drippings from the chicken instead of olive oil added a lot of flavor to the veggies--like cooking rice in chicken broth. we wished we'd had one more tomato.

it was a yummy, easy, healthy dinner. it was also jay's first time to eat spaghetti squash. he liked it.

learning to escape

2011-10-08T14:51:00.000-05:00

before moving to west africa, i had to read and learn a lot about culture shock. i was told that it was common to hit a major slump about 3 months into your stay--a truth i experienced, as did every other missionary and peace corps volunteer i know. jay and i aren't in west africa, but nyc is enough of a culture shock to merit that same reaction. and 3 months into jay's stay (he moved here before me) everything started to suck. everything was draining. and about the time he pulls out of his slump, i'll likely fall into my own.

so we hit the road. we searched all over for b&b's outside the city, near train stations and hiking trails. our options were limited since it's a holiday weekend, but we finally settle on Crabtree's Kittle House Inn in chappaqua, ny. were we dorks hoping to see bill & hillary clinton, who live a few blocks away? yes. yes we were.

the good thing about the inn is that it's less expensive that many places we looked at. it's not a b&b, but does serve a lovely continental breakfast. it's a 50-minute train ride from the city, and an $11 cab ride from the chappaqua station to the inn. the bar and the restaurant provide lovely piano music on thursday and friday nights, serve up delicious meals and boast the most extensive wine list in the entire US. indeed if you ask to see the "long list" of wines, you'll be handed a 3-inch binder of wines ranging from $28 to $25,000. very impressive.

the down side to the inn is that it can be noisy--a lot of people like to throw parties there--weddings especially. we were glad we left saturday before 2 weddings came in. also, the rooms are very clean, but a little stark--not as cozy as the rest of the inn. and while the remote location makes it a quiet escape during the day, it also makes it hard to do anything but sit around unless you have a car...

so we rented one :)

ahhh, to have a car! i didn't realize how much i missed the radio! the fast moving pavement beneath the wheels! the bubble containing just me and jay! you know i'm all about public transportation, but i really must admit that a car is a lovely luxury every once in a while.

armed with said car, we began our exploration. first to wilkens fruit farm. don't ever go there. remember how fun it was to go apple picking with your school buddies on field trips? turns out kids still take field trips to apple orchards--700 kids to be exact. we took a cute picture and left.

next we went to FDR state park because i was itching to walk some trails and jay was eager to appease me. while our trail walking wasn't as successful as we had hoped, we still got our fix of being outdoors, getting our feet muddy, catching some rays, and breathing in the fresh air, away from the sounds of construction, shouting and honking. sweet.

on our way back to chappaqua, we noticed a sign for rye, ny, and made a quick detour. jay had visited rye as a child and was excited to go back to the boardwalk. i was excited to visit the birthplace of one of my best friends (jamie) as well as the church home of one of my favorite priest-geeks (father matthew moretz). i think it's safe to say we'll go back to rye.

and that's our trip in a nutshell. we learned that you don't have to go far to get out of the city. we also learned that it costs about as much to go 50 miles as it does to fly to charlotte. hmmm....

mean people suck

2011-09-15T12:46:00.001-05:00

remember that bumper sticker in the 90's?

there are many things i have wanted to write about the past few days--my time spent as a prayer minister at st. paul's chapel (across from ground zero) this past weekend, dad and wade's visit and help with our extreme apartment makeover, pepper's adjustment to city life and learning to poop on the sidewalk, how much greek hurts my head, jay's and my first "house" party... and on and on.

but yesterday's adventure on the M23 bus with jay takes the cake.

two high school friends of mine, becca and christy, collaborated on a "dance in public" event on the east side. i was eager to go, and jay agreed to check it out, so we hopped the bus on west 23rd until we reached the end of east 23rd. we were sitting near the front of the bus, where the seats face the center aisle. across from us sat two women, both with canes, with an empty seat between. up walked a very tall and big-boned woman, and she sat between them.

now this woman was big in that she was tall and thick. she was not morbidly obese. and while i'll admit i'm the first to insist on putting down my armrest in an airplane to protect my seat-space, i could not believe how poorly this big-boned woman was treated.

the cane-carrying woman to the big-boned woman's right started spouting off: "you are just sick. you are fat. you really ought to take a look in the mirror. how do you expect me to sit next to you?"

horrified, i elbowed jay, who started listening in too. the big-boned woman responded, "i'm not taking up your seat. i'm not sick. i think i look fine."

the cane-carrying woman went on, "oh, just shut up, shut up."

it was crazy. jay and i were both embarrassed for the big-boned woman. jay turned to me and said, "if that old woman is still on the bus when we get off, i'm going to say something to her on the way out."

we hit another stop, and the old woman started up again: "look at yourself. how can you not know you're fat. you are really sick."

i'd had it. and knowing jay had my back, i spoke up.

"ma'am? ma'am. can you please be quiet. what you're saying is very rude."

"this is a private conversation and none of your business, " the old woman snapped back.

"actually, you're on a public bus, and talking loud enough for us all to hear," jay said.

and this little exchange went on. she made fun of me for calling her ma'am... "what are you, from the south?" "yes ma'am." "well maybe you should go back there."

jay told her she gave new yorkers a bad name.

the big-boned woman smiled a "thank you" as she exited the bus. the old woman exited at the end of east 23rd with us. we made sure to steer clear of her cane, lest she whop us upside the head.

my hands were shaking after the incident. in talking to one of my peers today about it, he pointed out that while speaking up was the right thing to do, it did require us butting into someone else's conversation, and so you're left with opposing feelings of right and wrong. maybe that's what makes people uncomfortable when approaching justice--at times you have to be wrong to be right. i was worked up for sure.

a few minutes later we were watching becca dance, talking to christy and admiring a giant pink moon rise over the east river. the beauty of the city was restored.

this is my solemn vow

2011-09-08T20:27:00.000-05:00

well, we did it. we got married. though i did get a call from the register of deeds saying they are missing a witness signature on our marriage license, so i guess we're not legit yet? but our hands have been joined and our vows have been exchanged, and two have become one.

every time i talk to one of my parents or to my friends, everyone says (even if they've said it before) that our wedding was perfect. and it really was. it's amazing it went as smoothly as it did, given i moved up to NYC the week before for orientation... and truly thought about wedding stuff very little. no time to! let me tell you why the wedding was perfect.

a LOT of friends and family made it so.

sloan and jamie let me (and pepper!) stay with them the month leading up to the wedding. sloan helped me put together programs. lois ann carted me all around town to pick up stuff for hospitality bags (when i had no car) and then helped me put them together, and then dropped them off, and then hosted my pakifam. boriana made our slideshow. jenny and michael set up the projector for our slide show. alice helped us figure out our wine and beer list. molly gave us a 20% coupon to use on our mac's bbq catering bill. aaron picked up the kegs and paid off our wine vender. eric managed the kitchen and bussed the tables during the reception while his daughter washed dishes. nikki ran the whole reception and sweat buckets putting up and breaking down tables. lilian helped me wash all the pint glasses we gave as favors. john tended our bar. anne and stark helped out with flowers. lori lent me her veil and earrings. colleen lent me her fastenator (flowers for my hair). chris worked his magic on the organ, allie and katie sang beautifully, and aaron's rendition of "shenandoah" on the mandolin was awesome. my dad and wade totally transformed the blue room into a true reception hall. donna and greg threw an awesome rehearsal dinner. my mom bought me the most beautiful wedding gown. my aunts threw me a lovely bride's lunch, complete with vases and tea cups they flew up from TX that belonged to my great grandmother. farhan did a wonderful job reading, as if he were speaking directly to us. verdery and john celebrated a beautiful marriage blessing and eucharist. chip blessed us and the reception. jamie brought pepper to us before the wedding so we could take pictures with her. meggan and channing and my brothers picked up my dress. mary brooks made took care of anna and baby stella. john acolyted. eden made yummy desserts. aaron, dick, nate, jesse, pete, paul, stephen and pierce all stood by jay and kept him sane and made us feel SO special for being there--no matter the distance. sloan, caitlin, erin and julie kept me sane as well as entertained, making sure i ate and drank, and just made me feel so loved. steve and farrell let us crash their cabin for our 2-day minimoon. and that doesn't even include the people we paid to do stuff (our wonderful photographers, etc).... are you getting the drift? our wedding was perfect because we had A LOT of HELP!!!! and from FRIENDS, all of them!

things that i thought were perfect:

jay's grandpa's blessing at the rehearsal dinner. the toasts (and roasts). the girls' dresses/flowers/necklaces--they just looked perfect! they boys' suits/ties/pocket squares--it all looked so sharp! my dress--it really was stunning, and i felt like the most beautiful girl i've ever been. our moms--they were so beautiful, and we love them. our dads--they both kept their cool and kept us cool too. our granddads--how blessed are we that we each had a grandparent come all the way to charlotte. the order of service--every hymn, reading and prayer was handpicked especially for us. our food--who doesn't love bbg? our friends--they would have partied all night long if they could have. even things that didn't seem perfect at first were perfect after all--like our first dance that we thought went too long, but enjoyed it anyway because we realized it was probably the only time we'd get to talk until the reception was over. and when it was over, we came back to the hotel and sat on the bed, still in our wedding clothes, going through the amazing photo-guestbook our guests help put together, reading cards to each other from friends and family, and laughing at the sheer beauty and blessedness of the day and our memory of it.

not to mention jay--the perfect partner for life for me--who loves so sacrificially and supports me so fully.

i titled this blog "this is my solemn vow" because i said those words with so much intention and deliberateness at our wedding--every phrase of our vows i said as emphatically as i possibly could to jay, because i know how blessed i am to be bound to him. like, 'hey, monkey, i REALLY mean EVERY word of this! i want you to know i mean this as much as i can possibly mean anything ever.' i (like every bride, i would hope) am completely convinced i am the luckiest girl in the world for marrying jay.

so anyway, that's a very long description of a very special day, made perfect by the people we love! and while it may not be the most interesting blog post ever, i just can't say thank you enough. thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone that made our day perfect. we will carry the memory of that day and your role in it with us forever. thank you.

welcome to my hood

2011-08-27T12:49:00.004-05:00

you really don't have to worry about looking like a tourist taking pictures in nyc, because everyone is taking pictures. i snapped a few while taking an evening stroll down the high line, which is conveniently located one block from my new home!

while i don't want to upload them all, here are two pics from a little shrine i stumbled upon and showed to jay later.

this is a little random shrine to hope, with lots of little pieces of paper to write your hopes on.

and this is what i wrote!

a big thank you to whoever made this lovely shrine.

you should start a blog!

2011-08-26T16:47:00.003-05:00

the past 2 days, while saying goodbye to the charm city and preparing for life in the big apple, several people have told me i should start a blog. little did they know...

it's true that "lauren laughs" was a great way to let everyone what was up back in africa... and it's true that manhattan is like a foreign country... so here we are. day one. blogging in nyc.

sloanie dropped me off at the airport this morning. we both fought back tears. "this is no big deal! i'll see you next week!!" and i will see her and a host of friends next week at jay's and my wedding (holy moses), but i still shed a few tears waiting at security, and again as my plane descended to jfk. oh, the life changes! so many.

made it to my apartment. my first thought was, 'wow. this is even smaller than i expected.' my second thought was, 'aww, jay bought me roses!' and the rest of the day has been filled with similar paradoxical statements.

'ugh, i'm back in a dorm!!!'
'wow, everyone is so super friendly.'
'there's no way i'll be able to study in our apartment.'
'ooh, i like the library.'
'i'm not cut out for this much cement.'
'i love the super green campus!'
'this is home.'
'i miss home!'

i'm sure the tug-of-war will continue for a while.

in the mean time, hurricane irene is making her way to nyc. mandatory evacuations have begun, but i'm sitting pretty in chelsea. the campus is raised and cloistered, so we're not too worried. jay has been at work since 6am, and he doesn't yet know when he'll get to come home. he knows he'll be spending the night at the station tomorrow night. needless to say i haven't done any nesting yet, as i imagine there will be plenty of time for that in the next two days.

i'm kinda looking forward to it.

self love slacker

2011-04-11T15:32:00.002-05:00

this weekend i attended what i thought would just be a lecture on friday night, but enjoyed the speaker and the content so much that i had to re-arrange my weekend plans in order to attend the day-long workshop saturday as well. it was worth it. as an episcopal priest and jungian annalist, pittman mcgehee had some wonderful things to say about the psychology of love (a preview to his book "the paradox of love" to be released in october). there is no way i could summarize the weekend in a brief enough way to hold your attention, so i'll just leave you with the things that are sticking to me a few days later. (not sticking with me--there's a lot more of that--just the things that i feel like could be sticky-notes on my forehead).

1. when pittman takes on a new patient, he asks them to pick up two forms of exercise: physical and spiritual. duh! this is sticking to me b/c i've been slacking on both, and both are forms of self-love! which was another theme i'll get to.
2. people really desire 3 things deeply: meaning in general, purpose in particular and a place to belong. true dat.
3. let it be. agape is the "let it be love" that lets you be who you are and lets me be who i am and lets us love just like that. so simple, and yet maybe the most important self-love and other-love lesson to lean on. if i have to please you, that's not love. if you have to please me, that's not love. if i have to please myself, that's not love. let it be, and let it be loved.
4. the "wounded healer" is a metaphor i've long identified with. how interesting, then, that Jesus was resurrected with His wounds. what hope for the wounded (ie: everyone).
5. maybe human becomings is a better term than human beings.

anyway, in light of some of these things, i'm going to get back to my 3x a week running schedule, my daily journaling schedule, and maybe even blog more. not because i should, not like a task, but a gift to myself that makes me feel better. at least the running and journaling have that effect. the blogging is more just to help me pay attention to the special and the sacred in the everyday.

today i'm paying attention to the fact that the paintings on either side of me are of charlotte and new york city. coincidence that i'm sitting between the two? they're the only city paintings in this place. i'd buy them both if they weren't $750 a pop. looking forward to nyc so much, but relishing every moment left in the queen city. that's special.

open valentine year II

2011-02-15T16:58:00.002-05:00

After half my emails bounced back (I really ought to update my address book!) I'm posting an open valentine to bloggers and facebook for the second year straight...

So much has happened in the past year to be thankful for. The biggest news is that the "guy" I mentioned last year asked me to marry him :) So I will! At a very small wedding on New Year's Eve coming up. We are thrilled, our families are thrilled, and perhaps the most excited of all is Pepper. She adores Jay!

Jay synopsis: Jay is the supervising news producer for the CBS affiliate in Charlotte, finished in the top 1% of the Boston Marathon last April, placed 3rd in his age group in the Richmond Marathon this November, loves music and harmonizes with me in the car, hales from the village of Newark in upstate New York (where he is a local prank celebrity), and is a born and bred Packers fan.

I also mentioned last year that I had entered the discernment process to become an episcopal priest. After 18 months of interviews and prayers and many life lessons, the bishop granted me Postulancy for Holy Orders. Being a postulant just means I get to go to school to be a preist--Yay! There are still lots of steps before becoming a priest, though... so more on that in years to come.

As for where I'll be in school next year--I'm waiting to hear back from my first-choice school: General Theological Seminary in New York City. I checked the mailbox this afternoon in hopes that I'd have news on that front for this (already day-late) Valentine, but nothing yet! Regardless, the plan is for me to go to school this fall, finishing my first semester without Jay while he finishes out his contract in Charlotte (boo!) We'll be married between semesters so Jay and Pepper can join me sometime between January and March. We're excited about starting our marriage in a supportive community of faith at seminary :)

And that's the scoop! I did take a group of 34 kids to Nova Scotia on pilgrimage this year, traveled to the Bahamas with Jay for my 30th birthday, spent a week on Lake Ontario at Jay's family's cottage, attended several best friends' weddings (singing in two of them), celebrated several births, and celebrated my granddad's 80th birthday in Texas with every single aunt, uncle and cousin on that side of the family. It's been quite a year, with lots of love to celebrate.

I pray that you too are celebrating love every chance you get. May we all find even more love in our hearts this year than we knew we had, remembering Proverbs 15:17, "A bowl of vegetables with someone you love is better than steak with someone you hate."

square one

2010-08-09T09:53:00.003-05:00

this morning, i came to the end of my street and had to make a decision... left? or right? left would mean a 4 mile loop that i like better. right would mean a 3 mile loop. 3 miles. that to me feels like a cop out. i don't want to say that i'm too good for 3 miles, but if i'm honest, i think that's probably what's going on in the back of my head. still, i've been unable to train for the past 4 months. my running has been inconsistent, at times painful, at times scary... it really stopped being fun... just as it was getting to be really fun! just as i hit a 5k pr of 23:42, i literally ran into some health issues that would knock out an average of 10 days of training a month. after months of tests, dr's appointments, acupuncture and patient encouragement from jay, i think it's safe to hit the road again... just in time to train for half-marathon season.

so i ate my slice of humble pie this morning at turned right, opting for the 3 mile loop at an easy pace. i'm convinced that anyone can be a runner. i'm proof of that. but just because i've been a runner doesn't mean i can pick up where i left off. it's back to square one. back to building up my mileage a week at a time, slow and steady, till i'm ready to pick up the pace.

last year i didn't start training for half-marathons till september. this year i'm getting started a month earlier. if i'm patient, i think i'll reach my goal and a new sub-2hr pr.

cheers to a fresh start.

a couple of big wins

2010-03-09T17:19:00.002-05:00

a while back one of my kiddos decided to run a half marathon to raise money for parkison's research. her dad was diagnosed with parkison's when she was 4, making it hard for him to walk or talk. i told her i'd run with her if i could find 13 donors to support her cause, pounding the pavement for parkinson's. donors did: jocelyn, jay, patty, lois, grace, wendy, christine, chris, pat, anne, another anne, tim, linda, to name a few.

it was a hard race. sara had been battling a cold, and she hit a wall at mile 10, but she kept on pushing, along with two high school friends reid and hannah. together we talked and laughed and coughed our way through the race, maybe shedding a few tears here and there. sara had a lot of fans on the road, cheering her on.

it was enough that she finished a difficult race, it was enough that she had raised awareness of the disease claiming her dad's mobility, it was enough that she had raised a good bit of money for research. but when the race was over, the checks kept coming, and at a reception held in sara's honor last thursday, we learned she had raised over $67,000. absolutely amazing.

saturday saw a couple of wins too. jota ran, and WON, a half marathon. and my girls' relay team placed 3rd. trophies all around!

but sara's win is the kind that changes lives. YES.

open valentine to bloggers and fb

2010-02-15T10:51:00.002-05:00

after getting muchos bouncebacks to this emailed valentine yesterday, i thought i better share the same on blog and facebook for all those i missed! love.

It is my custom to mail valentines to friends and family, near and far. But as the list of places I've lived grows longer, and my relationships multiply, well... it gets expensive! So please accept this electronic valentine and update as a token of my continued affection. I'll even throw some pictures in (just click on any highlighted words).

The past year has been a doozy, in a good way. Here are the highlights...

I continue to love my job as a youth minister. The kids and the church are awesome. Last year I took two ski trips, a beach trip, mission trips to Costa Rica and West Virginia, and I led a Pilgrimage to Ireland. It was a lot of travel (10 days in Ireland feels like 100 when you're taking care of 37 teenagers!) but I got by with a little (or a lot of) help from my friends. And the best part: countless Moments of Grace. Nothing like a lack of control to help you see God right in front of your nose.

I love life in Charlotte. Though the city is lacking in diversity, it is over the top in hospitality and activity. My friends here introduced me to a number of new hobbies, including my first two triathlons, first two 10k races, and first two half-marathons. My family thinks it's hilarious that I, the nonathletic child, have become a runner. Who knew? Chalk it up to peer pressure, in a good way. I've got an awesome Monday night girls' group--we read books and pray together. I've got an awesome Thursday night girls' group--we drink wine together. Got to love balance. I don't just hang out with girls, though... there are boys too. One, in particular. And he's a yankee (gasp)!!

The two most exciting and daunting pieces of news are Pepper and the Priesthood. Pepper is my dear sweet dog. A 2-yr old German Shepherd Lab mix I rescued her last March; she is the love of my life. She cannot get enough love, nor does she ever run out of love to give. She barks at boys and likes sweaty shoes. I didn't think I could handle the responsibility of a dog, considering all my travels, but my friends have made it all possible. It takes a village. As for the Priesthood, I entered the discernment process to be an Episcopal Priest last fall. It's a long process, complicated, exhausting, rich and life-giving. Depending on how things go, I may start seminary in Fall of 2011. Maybe I'll know by next Valentine's Day... in the mean time, I appreciate your prayers!

No matter where you are this Valentine's Day, I pray that you know Love. Uncontrollable, no strings attached, unconditional, radical, unstoppable, mindbending... God LOVE.

ain't no stoppin' church

2009-12-20T21:45:00.003-05:00

i was a little concerned when i hadn't heard from anner this morning. i was getting ready for church, and thought maybe she had decided the blizzard ridden roads of b'more were too treacherous. i could have walked to church, i did every week when i lived here. but anner had to drive from the other side of the harbor. at 8:06am, she called, "i'm here. i'm early." of course. never doubt a girl from minnesota.

so we drove to church (after anner tried to push someone down the street by ramming their back bumper, per their request...) and found only one other person there. "guess we're not having church?" i said. "i just saw pastor, he said to go sit in the choir loft," said a woman i didn't know. and we did. maybe 20 of us in our jeans and boots walked (or squeeked, in my case) up the isle to the very front of the church, up to the choir pews, just right of the altar.

now, i have to say that this sanctuary is a special place for me. first, it's beautiful. the man that designed it was one of the 3 architects of the national cathedral, so... awesome. but it's also a place i used to have a key to when i lived here. i'd come to the church 30 minutes before our girls' book club every sunday night to get ready for the rest of the gang, sitting in the dark sanctuary, just me and the candlelight. it's a special place too because it's where, during one evening lenten service, i heard God speak into my heart: "feed My sheep..." the beginning of a call to ministry.

this morning it was special because we were just a handful of neighborhood peeps and two priest. no robes. no acolytes. we were the choir. pastor sabor, who hadn't practiced the organ since 1971, pecked out a couple of hymns. pastor fritas shared a beautiful sermon about mary's annunciation and God's knack for using ordinary people to bring Jesus to the world, something i think about often.

the whole experience was a welcome confirmation of being where i am now, and a reminder that this story i'm living is not a new one. it's a Great one.

pastor sabor put on a pot of coffee and pastor fritas tracked down some donuts so our gathering could tarry a bit longer. all in all, a beautiful morning. church at its blizzard best.

13.1 thank you's

2009-11-12T14:12:00.007-05:00

a while back i got this wild idea to run a half marathon (i think it started on the cruise with my girlfriends this summer, when i read an article about endurance training, and thought, huh... i've been training for things all year... but endurance... that's something new...) everyone kept telling me it's a mental challenge as much as a physical one. my girlfriend jocelita said, "maybe just think of a different person at every mile..." so i filed that little nugget away.

a month before the race, i made a list. i was going to run 13.1 miles, so i chose 13 people that had made the biggest impact on my first year in town. here's the run-down...

From 2009 Fall

mile 1: aimeesita. 7.48. this was my fastest mile (downhill and pumped up). aimeesita is so many things to me, but she is always my designated hug for the day. without her, i could go a whole week hugless!

mile 2: anniebananie. 8:47. anniebananie shares my office and therefore my craziness. she listens to me whether she wants to or not. sometimes she acts like my mom, but she never gets upset with me. love!

mile 3: chip dinero. 8:42. chip dinero is my mentor. he's been there for lots of up's and down's this year. i look up to him muchisimo.

mile 4: danimal. 9:12 (pace is slowing... uphill). not only did danimal introduce me to sweet pepper bear, but he also taught me to rake leaves and he manages my fantasy football team... which is winning. most generous guy i know!

mile 5: farrellita. 8:40. farrellita intimidated me when i first met her because she is so cool. now she, her hubby and her baby are like family to me. her back porch (with a glass of wine in my hand) is probably my favorite place in town.

mile 6: hi-mey. 9:24. i met hi-mey up at farrellita's cabin last spring. we hit it off immediately. i love him so much, i introduced him to the best girl i know. and he asked her to marry him. she said yes. and there was much rejoicing.

mile 7: jocelita. 9:13. jocelita is one of the biggest cheer leaders i know. she was biking all over the course on her stylin' yellow wheels, cheering peeps on left and right. she inspires me!

mile 8: juan. 9:12. juan is my boss. i often say i want to be like all the priests i work for when i grow up, but i especially want to be like juan. he's got more wisdom and insight than peeps twice his age. and he's a tree hugger.

mile 9: julia. 9:37. julia was one of my first real girlfriends here. she taught me to ride with clipless pedals, and was there for my first fall. she later told me she was hoping to be the mile that includes the toughest hill on the course, and she was... well... half way...

mile 10: latissimus. 9:55. my slowest mile on the course. in part because it included the other half of the toughest hill, but also because i had to stop and hug hi-mey and wave to anniebananie, who were waiting on the course, cheering for me. YES! latissimus introduced me to 1/3 of the peeps i know here, drove me around the first 3 car-less months i lived here, and then taught me to drive stick when i finally did buy a car. other than dating, he's pretty much awesome

mile 11: lindensita. 9:37. lindensita's stretch of the race was actually perfect, as it's the same stretch we "speed walked" the day i told her i wanted to be a priest. she was the first friend i told... the guinea pig. and she didn't freak out! linden gets the mountain girl in me.

mile 12: maria carolina. 9:52. mi amor, mc! this chica started the monday night girls' group that has become my sacred space each week. we have some crazy similarities, meaning she makes me feel understood in a way few people can.

mile 13: sloandawg. i don't know that i actually stopped my watch when i crossed the finish. sloandawg, i think, has put up with my very worst, and she's been there for some of my best moments too. she ran my first 10k and my first triathlon with me. she lets me repeat stories over and over, and she put up with the bulk of my culture shock when i moved here. i love her. she's also engaged to hi-mey.

From 2009 Fall

in the end, i finished the race in 2:00:11. my goal was to get as close to 2 hours as possible, so 11 seconds over is pretty stinkin' close! i was very pleased. and dad was standing at the finish line waiting for me with a great big hug. as were jocelita and jota.

jota is someone else i need to thank. he has made running fun, as has the whole running club.

sarita also gets a shout-out for biking all over the course to cheer me (and others) on!

lorita too, who could not be there, as she was cheering on her hubby in his first ironman race, but who coached me through every one of my long runs leading up to the race... she's one of my new favorite people. and her watch, which usually beeps at us when we run uphills, was beeping in my head, reminding me to slow up a little on those uphill stretches.

all in all, it was an epic day, i finally earned a real medal (YAY!!!), and we closed out the festivities with a dinner party for the 13 and their dates. thanks to chef dad.

thank you, thank you, thank you for all who encouraged me along the way, and especially for all who have made this town HOME to me.

gay soap

2009-11-01T21:21:00.004-05:00

i'm flirting with a new soap box... can't decide if i'm ready to actually "get on" it yet, i think i've been growing into the idea for years now.

it's the gay soap box.

here's the thing. i have these really amazing friends, and they are all really good people, and sometimes they say things that hurt my feelings, not because they are mean or bad, but because they are unaware. does that translate into an opportunity for awareness? maybe.

friends of lau, let it be known, talking about gay people as if they are a different species, or using the term "gay" in a negative way, hurts lau's feelings.

chalk it up to me being over-sensitive if you like. shoot, i feel over-sensitive every time someone says something is "gay"... like... "a guy with shaved legs is gay." (that might sound odd to you, but it comes up a lot in the cycling/swimming community...) really? gay? because my dad is gay, and he definitely doesn't shave his legs. in fact, i'm pretty sure that a much higher percentage of male swimmers or male cyclists shave their legs than do male homosexuals. so why is that "gay"??

and why do my male friends, when they want to assert their own manliness as being greater than another's manliness, do they say the other man is "gay"? are gay men not manly?

can you fix a car? fix things around the house? build things? work on a farm? be a good father? because my dad can. he may wear designer jeans and tight black t-shirts, but he's also one of the manliest men i know.

so last night i was hanging out with some friends, and they started making fun of another friend, who was at a gay party. lots of "gay" banter went back and forth, not all of it negative, but i felt uncomfortable. and again, i realize i could be over-sensitive about gay-talk, but i'm kinda the opposite of sensitive most of the time, so it's hard to know how to deal. i usually just remove myself from the situation, and that's what i did last night. i told my friends goodnight, and left the gathering, trying to wrap my head around my own emotions. i texted one of my friends to let him know why i left, fearing my exit was too abrupt, at which point he texted back, "oh gosh... VERY VERY sorry. we definitely didn't mean anything by it! more just ripping on "so-and-so"... we're a pretty open-minded group." now, i love this friend, and i know that he really did feel so bad about the situation, yet his response only frustrated me more. why is suggesting someone is gay the same as "ripping" on them? why does "gay" always imply something negative? furthermore, what my friend perceives as "open-minded," i perceive as my "new norm." it's not thinking outside the box, it's real life. it's not liberal, it just is.

and yet, it's not totally my "new norm" but one i'm still growing into. it's taking time. and by no means do i expect the world to "normalize" according to my reality. but i do think my friends love me. and i don't think they hurt my feelings on purpose. and i do think these situations create opportunities to increase awareness, respect, dignity and truth. so here i go, opening my big mouth, hoping you know it comes from my big heart, and i'm grateful for everyone and everything that has brought me to this moment BIG TIME.

one week away from 13.1

2009-10-30T16:04:00.002-05:00

last week i ran 10 miles with the best running partner in the world, who i'll call lorena. sadly, for me (but lucky for her hubby!) she'll be gone next weekend when i'm running my first half marathon. but her hubby will be running his first ironman, so that's a much bigger deal, and, you know, they're married. sooo....

anyway, 10 miles last week was good. it was strangely hot and muggy, on a rainy october morning, so i did something i never thought i could around mile 7.5.... i took off my shirt. now, i'm not going to go running around in my sports bra all the time, it's still not how i roll, but i will say that loosing the shirt really gave me a second wind!

because lorena knew i had big plans for dancing my face off saturday night at julia's wedding, and she knew i was going to do so in high heals (which is almost as strange for me as running shirtless), she suggested i give my legs a little ice bath. we bought some ice (i still owe you $5 lorena!) and i went up to my bathroom. here goes nothing. filled up the tub with lukewarm water, poured in 10lbs of ice, squealed a little, but stuck it out for 10 min. i think the water should have been a little colder, but i think it helped.

then it was party time. and though i brought flip-flops to change into once i got my dance on, they stayed in my purse, while i kicked it in the high heals. who is this woman in my body?? so weird. still i had a blast.

till i woke up sunday morning, not with a hangover, but with the sorest left quad ever. i could barely walk down the stairs. i figured it would feel better monday, but no.

so what did i do?

i got a massage.

my first ever male-massage from some dude named byron with really big hands. it was a little weird at first. i had to bite the inside of my cheek for the first minute or two to keep from smiling or laughing, but big-hands-byron worked his magic, and i was much more mobile when i left. whew.

went to yoga tuesday, got my butt kicked, but still felt ok on the quad.

finally ran 5 miles thursday, and my quad was a-ok.

practiced yoga again today, and i think i'm set for another 10 miles tomorrow! then it's one short run next week, lots of rest, and BOOM, i'll be a half-marathoner on saturday! assuming i finish. that's my only real goal. would love to get as close to 2 hrs as possible, but finishing and having fun is much more important.

i'm pretty excited. i can't believe i have come to like, maybe even love, running. never say never.

it's official

2009-10-20T16:12:00.002-05:00

i just registered for my first half marathon.

i'd been putting it off, just in case... thinking i'd wimp out at some point. but the (sad) truth is (sad only because i'm proving myself wrong...) that i actually enjoy running now. 7 miles 2 weeks ago was hard. 8 miles a week ago was easy. 9 miles this week was fun. and even my little 5 mile runs on tuesdays and thursdays are getting faster and easier.

my peers have a lot to do with it. a few weeks ago i ran a 10k and came in 97th place. all my friends were TOP finishers. but because i had PR'd by 8 minutes (setting a new personal record that was waaaaay faster than my 10k in april) my friends cheered me on like i had won the whole thing. i felt like a champ.

and i'm meeting new people too. some girls i'd never met before are now running with me on tuesdays, which a) forces me to get out of bed, b) pushes my pace, and c) expands my social circles. my saturday running buddy is my favorite, though. she makes the time fly by!

so i'm super psyched for november 7. thinking i may even sign up for another in december. ridiculous.

just a taste

2009-09-24T17:32:00.000-05:00

i tend to live out loud. keeps me authentic. it's a lot easier to falsify aspects of life when you keep them hidden. so don't be shocked when i say on my blog (and thus on facebook) that i saw my therapist today.

i really love my rock star of a shrink, who i'll call juana. she helped me acclimate post-africa as i tried to remember my identity, and as i tried to re-learn emotions. i think she did a pretty good job. we met regularly last summer.

and we met once in january, in a moment of freaking out over how awkward my new dating relationship was, which ended shortly after. (no worries).

but i hadn't seen her since. it's not that i haven't had my ups and downs... i have. but i am a) extremely self aware, b) practical, and c) an external processor. meaning i walk into a counseling session knowing exactly how i feel, understanding why i feel that way, and i've likely processed it with several girlfriends.

the current downer: i'm lonely.

on one level, it's absolutely ridiculous. i have the most amazing friends, and lots of 'em. my social calendar is full. my work is fulfilling. life is balanced. life is good. God is great.

on another level, it makes perfect sense. there's an empty space, and it is what it is.

so when i told my boss i was in a funk (i mean, he's a priest, i can tell him anything)... he responded, "when's the last time you talked to juana?"

i said, "dude, i know why i'm lonely."

at which point he laughed and said, "oh, you do?"

"fine," i said.

and i called juana.

she pretty much said what i expected... i'm not in need of real "therapy" because it's ok to feel lonely. it's real. it's part of life. i'm aware, i'm balanced, i'm good to go.

but she did say one thing that kinda stood out... this little nugget will somehow help me cope... though i don't know how... i just know it will.

basically, i've opened myself up to loneliness. i've allowed myself to be open to love, i've put myself out there, i've been crushed and broken and hurt, but i've also opened a door that i could-not-would-not open this time last year.

in a sense, it's a good thing.

you know when you're not really hungry, but then somebody gives you a bite of a cookie, and then suddenly your stomach starts growling and you're like, 'when's dinner?!"

well that's where i am right now. i didn't know i was hungry. i had a little taste of something good, and now i'm eager for the main course.

i'm hungry, but not starving. lonely, but not desperate.

and somehow, that little juana-ism is like the sherbet they serve between courses... a pallet-cleanser of sorts. so i share it with you, free of charge. but i recommend you back it up with a strong dose of self-care if you feel you're in the same boat. laughter, prayer, exercise, acupuncture, short-term attainable goals, pedicures, mountains, dogs and best friends come to mind.

zip-code aristocrazy

2009-09-10T12:46:00.003-05:00

i went shopping monday (something i loathe, but it's a must 2 or 3 times a year). as i was checking out at one store the sales clerk asked for my zip-code. i was a little surprised at how sheepish i felt when responding "55522"... why?

it just so happens that i live in my fair city's most "aristocratic" zip-code. in fact, one particular cotillion group will only let your kids attend if you live in my zip-code. ridiculous.

so when giving out my zip-code, it's hard not to follow up with, "but i promise i'm not a snob... please don't judge me!"

which is funny... because for some, to be in a homeowner in my zip is to have arrived.

and then some could care less, i suppose.

me, i get a little embarrassed. not embarrassed enough to move.

9 miles in 9 weeks

2009-09-08T15:55:00.003-05:00

i really don't LOVE running. i put up with it, and i enjoy it at times (because i like anything outdoors) but it's not my favorite. still, i run.

and i was thinking i'd drop tri-training for the next 5 months and focus on yoga and weight training instead. i miss yoga! and it'd be especially helpful in this little process we call discernment (which i'll have to expound on later).

the thing is, though, the weather is so friggin' awesome right now. how can i be indoors?!?!

so i'm going to keep running. though i lack some motivation. what to do? create a goal. and that goal is: run a half marathon november 7.

yes, i know i only ever run 3 miles. and i did run 6 miles once in april, and it wasn't difficult to do, but i haven't run that far since. shoot, i've had no need to!

until now. now i have 9 weeks to add 9 miles to my run so i can run 12 miles.

oh, wait... i just googled half marathon distance and found it's actually 13.1 miles. so actually i have 9 weeks to add 10 miles... but 9 in 9 sounds better... so we'll just pretend.

tri number two

2009-07-28T13:57:00.002-05:00

i completed my second triathlon last weekend, with the added bonus of my mom's presence. yay, #1 fan!! she took some pictures.

here's the run down.

i finished the 750 meter open water swim in 20:02. faster than my last tri time, but i still came in 14 out of 14 in my age category. i love swimming, but i'm really not that good at it. and i'm a lot worse when i'm traveling every other week. definitely some room for improvement. the best part of coming out of the water was seeing my mom and jocelyn cheering on the shore and realizing my best friend finished right beside me.

i picked up the pace on the bike. it was a short course, only 10 miles, so it's hard to tell how it compared to the last race (which had a longer, flatter course). i finished in 34:51, 7th out of 14. i felt good about it, even though i fell off my bike on the dismount. i can never remember if i'm supposed to dismount before or after the line! so i just tipped over. oops. too bad my mom didn't get a picture!

the run was a bear. super hilly. even my "elite" triathlete friends said it was a hard 3 miles. i finished it in 30:21. boo. but not terrible. good enough.

my transition times were faster this time around.

making my total time 1:28:43. i threw my arms up in triumph, hootin' and hollerin' as i crossed the finish. it was a really great day. thanks for being there, mom!

outdoorsy girl

2009-07-22T20:37:00.001-05:00

today i took some of my middle school kids to a theme park. three girls rode over in my car, singing to my adele cd.

suddenly, the girl in the front seat turned to me and said, “do you climb?”

“errr, yeah… i do like to climb, actually… why?”

“you just look like an outdoorsy kind of girl.”

“why is that?”

“your chocos, your watch, your climbing bracelet…”

“that bracelet is from africa. it’s not a climbing thing.”

one of the girls in the back, sporting mark jacobs sun glasses, piped in, “it’s true. you look outdoorsy. it’s not my look, but i think it’s cool.”

even after cutting 8 inches off my “hippie” hair, my kids seem to think i’ve still got some crunch.

costa rica

2009-07-22T20:35:00.001-05:00

last week i went to costa rica with a group of 17 (11 kids, 6 adults) peeps from my church. we spent most of our time in san jose, the capital, working on the diocesan house (which is essentially home base for the regional episcopal churches).

it was a great time. we worked our tails off, plastering, sanding, sealing and painting walls, cleaning up our innumerable messes, gardening, and working (and playing) at hogar escuela, one of our pet projects. hogar escuela is a safe place for children to play and learn. it is a nursery, a school and an after school program. the children there typically live with their mothers, and know no father. if it weren’t for hogar escuela, these kids would be left to the streets during the day while their mothers worked to make ends meet. the streets are not a safe place to be.

hogar escuela started 45 years ago with only 6 families. several years ago, it was almost shut down, bankrupt and in ill repair. with a little help from the church and a lot of dedication from the families in san jose, hogar escuela is now one of the top ranked schools in costa rica (maybe the top ranked school?) and a favorite place for us to visit.

the episcopal diocese is about to build another school and daycare center like hogar escuela, just outside the worst slum in san jose, guarari. there, families live in corrugated tin lean-tos. most have come over illegally from nicaragua, where conditions are even worse. i look forward to returning to costa rica in years to come to see the school’s progress.

our lighter moments in costa rica were spent eating, drumming, singing, salsa dancing, watching the premier of harry potter, playing LOTS of games, zip-lining through trees, and chillin on the beach. we came home with stronger relationships, different perspectives, fun memories, inside jokes, new priorities, and a hunger for more of what God has to offer and asks us to offer of ourselves.

ireland

2009-07-22T20:30:00.002-05:00

finally… the long awaited (and highly abbreviated) synopsis of our pilgrimage to ireland.

every year, as part of our 10th grade sunday school curriculum at church, a group of teenagers and teachers depart on pilgrimage together. it is a unique opportunity to leave the rhythms, rigors and routines of home behind. to come away, together, to a foreign land. to explore our surroundings and ourselves, and to draw closer to God and one another throughout our journey. it’s pretty awesome.

this year 37 young pilgrims and 6 slightly older pilgrims spent 10 days traveling around western ireland. you might think it’s impossible to have any kind of meaningful community with 43 people--i was definitely concerned. before i left for ireland, my boss (and head priest) asked what i was looking forward to most in leading this pilgrimage. having never lead a pilgrimage before, i told him i was looking forward to the things i knew i’d have no control over… the moments of grace. he said, “so… you’re basically excited about everything.” “yep,” i said, “i’m pretty psyched.” that was certainly the case with the community forged during our trip. it was nothing any of us could have controlled or planned for, and God’s grace was hugely evident as a result. again, pretty awesome.

so what did we do? we explored castles and forts. we walked around abbeys and cemeteries, thinking (and writing) about how we would want to be remembered. we hiked 4 miles along the cliffs of moher, mere inches from 800-foot drops to the rocky shore below, contemplating the sheer greatness of God, and how it makes us a little nervous and draws us closer all at once. we played golf (the monastery where we stayed had a pitch and put course). we bought loads of groceries and cooked meals for one other (iron chef style), we served and cleaned up after one other. we hiked up crough patrick, the second hardest climb i’ve ever done, in part because of the hail that rained down on us as we summated the slippery shale incline. we traveled to the smallest of the aran islands, a place called inisheer. we visited pubs and listened to irish music. some of our kids met up with local kids and went to an irish dance. we worshiped together in some really holy places, most memorable for me being kevin’s church, which is covered by sand every year, and every year dug out by the islanders on june 13. we shared ourselves in a way we will likely never share again, crying and laughing in spaces made safe by God’s presence. really, it was awesome.

i came home very exhausted, because really, it was a lot of work. but i also came home renewed, because really, it’s fun to watch God work.

not cool

2009-07-10T11:35:00.000-05:00

i just wrote the longest post ever about ireland...
and then deleted it.
so not cool.

dr. no fun

2009-06-29T18:15:00.002-05:00

i know i have lots of blogging to catch up on... ireland was awesome, and i'll get to it soon... it's just hard to keep up a blog when you don't have internet at home. i quit blogging at work when i left my government job :)

quick story though.

i went to the doctor last week for my annual physical, blood work and all (i hate needles... unless it's for acupuncture). i'm pretty healthy. my blood pressure couldn't have been better. i haven't seen my doctor since last year's appointment... no need to.

at some point she asked me, "are you working out?" i said yes. she asked, "what are you doing?"

i told her i was training for triathlons, swimming, biking and running every week.

her response? "are you lifting weights?"

"um... only during the winter..."

"well you really ought to be lifting weights. you need to build muscles to strengthen your bones and guard against osteoporosis."

since when does swimming, biking and running NOT build muscle? what?

then she asked if i smoke: no. drink caffeine: very little. drink alcohol: yes.

she said, "you really need to watch your alcohol intake as a woman to be sure you keep your calorie count down."

ok... first... do i look like i'm concerned about calories? did i mention i work out? and shouldn't you be more worried about the alcohol portion of the equation versus the calorie intake?

crazy talk.

las solteras

2009-06-07T21:59:00.007-05:00

i just got back from listening to the symphony at an outdoor amphitheater with half the city, including 3 of my lovely girlfriends. it was pretty much awesome. a "country" theme, with several singalong tunes. but even more awesome was the drama that one likely encounters as a single girl in the city.

here's juanita's story.

(don't you just love how i hispanify all my names??)

so there we were, the 4 of us, sitting on a darling white table cloth with blue trim and yellow fruit accents (pears, maybe)... sipping wine from our lovely picnic basket that sloan dawg brought along (don't know how to hispanify that name, but as a sidebar, sloan dawg and i met at one of these outdoor symphonies last year! aw, our little anniversary party...) when juanita noticed that her ex-boyfriend's wife was sitting RIGHT next to us.

this was pretty much a non-issue till the ex's daughter noticed juanita, screamed with delight, and proceeded to talk excitedly for 5 minutes... clearly STOKED to run into her dad's former love.

mmm, see, the daughter is in high school.

because the ex is 55.

juanita is not 55.

after the show, the ex-wife walked up to us, understandably curious about the previous conversation and her daughter's connection to some stranger.

she asked if we attended the same high school.

mmm... yeah. 3 of the 4 of us are in our 30's. and 4 of the 4 of us were sipping wine. so, no. not high school buddies.

juanita gracefully stated she was a friend of the ex. at which point the ex-wife says, "oh, you didn't date him, did you????!!!!" (clearly expecting a "no" response). juanita cannot tell a lie, so she sat there, mouth slightly open, searching for the right response... "um, it was a long time ago..." meanwhile, the horrified daughter shouted, "MOM!!!!"

oh well.

we (the girls, not the ex-wife) talked about the inconvenience of age differences. if only 55 were just a number. but it's not. it's got implications. bummer.

10 minutes later, some dude, some young dude, walked up to talk to us. too young. he gaped in disbelief to find he was 10 years younger than his target. he carded her to be sure. but as previously stated, juanita can only speak the truth. ah, the numbers game again.

in the end, juanita went home to her loyal loving dog, a tad short on drama. happy ending? it's fuzzy math.

regardless, it was a good girls' night out.

pepper: an update on awesomeness

2009-05-20T15:24:00.002-05:00

i just want to say that i love my dog.

she usually sleeps on her bed, down by the foot of my bed (so i won't step on her in the morning)... but last night she dragged her bed to be right up next to me. little girl warms my heart!

most nights she gets up very quietly, puts her wet nose up to mine, just to make sure i'm still there and breathing, and then goes back to lay down.

life with a dog is the best.

one more triathlete geek

2009-05-13T18:14:00.002-05:00

From 2009 Spring

well it's official. i'm what you might call a "triathlete." or at least i've completed my first triathlon, and it was fun! it all started about a year ago when i first moved to the area. one of my first friends was getting ready to run his first ironman triathlon, which is a little ridiculous, but it turns out there's a whole slew of people that do that kind of thing here and like it.

i swore off the stuff. i love these peeps, but they're a little ocd about training, and i knew i'd never be in their league.

but then one of my girlfriends did her first tri last fall, and kept talking about how FUN it was... so i caved and started training in january.

now, i use the term "training" a lot more loosely than my tri geek buddies. i do swim, bike and run every week... sometimes 2 or 3 things in one day. but i don't get up at 6am every saturday to go on 80 mile rides! ain't my thing.

sunday was the big day. my girlfriend and i got up at the crack of dawn, careful not to wake all our house mates (we were lucky enough to crash with our friends and their families at the beach... we had thought we might just have to pitch a tent near the race!) we arrived, picked up our race packets and chips, got "body marked" with our race numbers, and made our way to the transition area to set up all our gear. we were reeeeeeally excited. after lots of walking back and forth and making last minute adjustments, we took off our shoes and headed to the lake.

we were the 5th wave of swimmers (second wave of women), so we just stood in the warm (79.2F) water while watching others swim ahead. before our wave started racing, i saw two bodies emerge from the water and run down the dock... my buddies... some of the ocd crew. i was excited for them.

then it was our turn! in a made rush of water and slapping and kicking and splashing, we collectively made our way out into the lake along the race course. the first 100 meters are the worst. everyone is just swimming on top of each other, and it's awful. but it's not so bad after we all spread out. this was my first "open water" swim, so i wasn't used to having to look up for markers and trying to swim straight. sooo much easier in the pool. 750 meters and 23 minutes later, i too was out of the water and running down the dock. people were cheering... i couldn't help but laugh!

in the transition area i threw on my socks, cycling shoes, helmet and sun glasses, grabbed my bike, ran out, clipped in and started pedaling. and pedaling. and pedaling. it was a kinda boring ride, and honestly, i didn't ride it fast enough. i kept thinking i should save steam for the run, knowing that would be the hardest part (have you ever tried running after riding? it's not easy!) so i dismounted at 48 minutes after riding 14 miles. 2 down, one to go.

i threw my bike back on the rack, took off my cycling shoes and helmet, put on my running shoes and hat... and as i was clipping on my racing belt (that holds your race number) i heard one of my friends yell, "get out of here, lau! stop taking so long! GO!" i looked up, startled, and took off running.

the running, in terms of terrain, was more boring than the ride... but it was fun in that i ran into (or past) 3 of my friends, and we cheered each other on. as i rounded the last corner before the finish line, really hitting my stride, i saw two friends yelling, "kick it in! you got it!!!" so i kicked it in. 29 minute 5k. not fast, but not bad after everything else... bringing my total time to 1hr 45min. whew!

i grabbed a water and made my way back to the finish line to cheer in my girlfriend. we hugged, we laughed, we felt like rock stars.

and that was it! i'm now a triathlete! i've been thinking of how to change up my training and racing ever since, but i'm still swearing off the ocd scene. i haven't even worked out since sunday! and that takes effort. but the game is back on tomorrow... and the next race is in july. sweet.

boys' beach trip... what the...?

2009-05-04T15:50:00.004-05:00

i had the absolute pleasure of taking 9 middle school boys to the beach this weekend. we stayed at a place with revolution era forts, great for hide & seek. we only spent about an hour on the beach because the boys were just playing so hard the whole time. basketball all morning, fort running after lunch, mini-golf in the afternoon, dune jumping (i had a hard time not joining in on that one, but i kept reminding myself that my knees aren't as young as theirs, and i've got a big race next weekend), and then a little beach time before clean-up and dinner.
all the things that you might expect to have on a all-boys weekend did.

1) the church bus wouldn't start. luckily a mom lent me her minivan for the weekend.

2) one of the boys caught something in his eye, which continued to irritate him all day, so we took a little trip to the ER after dinner. he left with an eye patch, thus nick-named "patchy" the rest of the weekend.

3) while at the ER, the other 8 boys, bored out of their minds, started throwing rocks. the police had to give them a little pep talk as a result. oops.

perhaps the worst thing that happened, though, was MY fault. as i was following the GPS in my borrowed minivan, i turned down a dead-end road by accident. upon realizing my mistake, i whispered, "dead end? what the f!" really, i said the letter 'f' and did not use the word, but it was implied. and the boys immediately heard me (despite the blasting music and shouts of laughter as they threw playing cards and sour patch kids at each other) and gasped, collectively.

the favorite phrase for the rest of the weekend, was, of course, "what the f?!"

great. GRRRREAT.

glad i could be a shining paragon of upstanding christianly behavior.

surely Jesus cussed when he stubbed his toe?!?!

rules shmules

2009-04-22T20:41:00.002-05:00

you know, i really don't want this to become some blog about my dating life, or lack thereof... i mean, that's slightly petty to publish, right? but i'm in the midst of a dilemma, so i'm going to process via writing. forgive me.

let me interrupt my train of thought by saying there is nothing funnier than watching a big dog chase a tennis ball around the house on hard wood floors. thank God for pepper.

anyway, i've had a list of dating rules the past several years. a set of criteria for men to live up to in order for me to consider dating them. really, there are 4 plus 2 rules. like a bonus round.

1. most importantly... the guy has to love God. i've tried it otherwise, and it just never works. i have plenty of friends that this doesn't apply to, but for whatever reason, dating is different.

2. he's got to laugh. at himself, at me, at life... etc.

3. he's got to be intelligent, preferably in a challenging way. not just some rocket scientist i can't talk to.

4. he's got to be well traveled... preferably having lived in another country, but i realize that's asking a lot.

and then the "plus 2..."

a) i won't date a guy closer to my mom's age than my own (she is a young thing!)

b) i won't date potential. that's a toughy, b/c there's always potential, but you got to date what's real now.

now... some friends take issue with the well traveled thing. what if the guy has a desire to travel but just hasn't been able to? can't really hold that against him, right? and some friends have an issue with the God thing. is it enough if he just respects your religion? or if he's spiritual? what if he does yoga? and some think you have to chose either travel or faith... that the two don't mix... but then i am positive i'm not some freak of nature, and there've got to be at least 5 thousand other peeps in the world that love God and travel just like me.

but this weekend i was thinking... are all these rules just an effort to be in control? i mean, what's the fun in some pre-packaged man? i certainly wouldn't want anyone to put ME in a box! so i thought i'd just get rid of my rules. get out of the way of God's sense of humor, you know?

but standards are a good thing, right?

what's the difference?

i figure it's better to ask these questions while i'm single.

i'm just thinkin' out loud here.

pepper bear beware

2009-04-19T16:10:00.004-05:00

i have entered into a long term relationship, which i'm quite clueless about, but i'm learning every day. pepper, or pepper bear, as i like to call her, is 60+ pounds of fur, love, play and affection. here's a lovely picture of her, taken by my photographer friend lain.pepper is a 17 month old shepherd/lab mix, pretty much perfect in every way. except when she barks. she's scared of men after being rescued from a not-very-nice one. i guess it's good, in that NO man would ever try to cross me with pep by my side... they'd never guess that she's actually a big sissy, and she would hide behind me cowering if pursued. i love her.

pep had an unfortunate run-in at the dog park last week. she was off her leash, chasing after squirrels, turning her head and smiling at me every time she treed one... when one blue healer dog came up and started humping her. now, pep and i had actually met this dog the day before at the vet... and the dog had humped her then too... but the dog's owner (an old man) apologized and said he was getting his dog fixed soon. at the dog park, however, the old man was 30 yards away, talking to some young lady on a bench, completely ignoring his uncontrollable pup. i didn't know what to do. i felt helpless! i said, "no!" but i was afraid to yell at someone else's dog, so it wasn't very convincing. after a bit, the humping dog ran away, and i noticed a little something on pepper's back. slobber? nnnno. sticky goo? yes. gross.

i felt violated. i'm not sure how pepper felt, but she was a little weird when i tried to put her collar back on to go home. so we walked around the block before jumping in the car, going home, and getting hosed down outside. my first try at bathing pepper.

dogs like that (uncontrollable, non-fixed humpers) should not be allowed in dog parks. luckily pepper has a great support group, and all her people and puppy friends have made a point to give her extra love and encouragement this past week. especially her auntie sloan and uncle dan. i think she's moved on.

warning: this blog entry contains "adult" material not suitable for children

2009-04-14T19:35:00.002-05:00

one of the pros of taking time of blogging: only the die hard readers remain. and i think that pool of people can probably handle the following.

as you might know, one of the highlights of my work in youth ministry is talking to kids about sex. i mean that. i've never left a sex talk thinking, 'that was boring...' or, 'i wish i spent more time at my desk, preferably wearing a suit and heals.' no, sex talks are always challenging, always enlightening, and always very real. and i get to wear a t-shirt and flip-flops. can't beat that.

the 9th grade sex talks were especially good this year. i think we just got off on the right foot... there was a power outage at our first meeting, so we had the entire discussion about "angels and animals" by candlelight. mmmm hmmm. way to set the mood.

but the last 9th grade talk is what assured me that we had accomplished at least one of our objectives: letting kids know that church is a safe place to talk about sex.

here's what happened...

we were talking about ways to take care of ourselves spiritually, emotionally and physically in relationships.

"how do we stay physically healthy?"

"eat right and exercise."

"ok... and in relationships? and sexual relationships?

one guy raises his hand, "uh, use contraceptives?"

"actually, contraceptives just keep you from getting pregnant... they don't actually keep you from getting sick. the birth control pill is one example of a contraceptive. can somebody give me another?"

same guy says, "pulling out?"

"huh, well, yeah, there's that. definitely NOT the most reliable method..."

another guy interrupts, "wait... what exactly is the pull out method? i mean, i can kinda use my imagination, but..."

"sure. no worries. it's when the guy pulls his penis out of the woman's vagina before he ejaculates. really not a good method AT ALL."

"that's pretty much what i imagined."

see what i mean? mission accomplished. i promise there were much more meaningful learning moments throughout the night... and year, really... but this at least shows the kids are comfortable. whew. time to start planning next year.

it's not what you think, but it is funny

2009-04-10T13:08:00.002-05:00

my recent facebook status states that i'm bored out of my gourd. a true statement, but somewhat silly, given all that i could be doing. running, swimming, biking, paying taxes, baking a cake... but it's a long weekend... i don't want to take care of the mundane. i want adventure! why didn't i make plans to leave town? go camping? *sigh*

so, as my girlfriend crissy suggested, i'll update my blog.

in my previous post about bubba buffalo, "s" notes in her comment that i seem occupied since new years... she seems to suggest i'm preoccupied with, i dunno, a boy.

no, dear readers, it just ain't so. as much as i'd love to report that i'm in the throws of love in all its radiance... that i'm all aglow with a spring in my step and a song in my heart... nnnno. the only body that keeps me warm at night is my teddy bear and my new dog pepper (who i'll write about later... she is my best source of unconditional love and wet kisses, for sure).

that said, i have entered the dating scene. it seems impossible not to when many of your friends are married. rule of thumb: couples like other couples. and if you're not a couple, and you're friends with other couples, you can bet they'll try to make you a couple real quick. not that i mind... i am definitely not complaining.

so here's a set up story i'll share, because it is so entertaining, and because i know the implicated parties would not object. at least i don't think they would.

two married friends, andré and julia, asked if they could set me up with guillermo weeks ago. at first i objected (as did he, i'm told), but finally did succumb to their excited suggestions. guillermo and i had never met, though i facebook stalked him thoroughly, since he had no security on his profile page. a given.

the four of us met for dinner. super great time... easy conversation... lots of laughing... and then i said something about my dad being an interior designer.

"and yes," i added, "he's gay."

"no way!" exclaimed guillermo, "my dad is too!"

"i'm not being funny!" i retorted, "my dad really IS gay!"

"no, it IS funny," guillermo insisted, "because my dad really IS gay too... AND he's a gynecologist!"

well that did it. i finally met a man who could one up me. we may have to start a club.

happy crissy? :)

bubba buffalo for president

2009-03-05T22:13:00.002-05:00

my brothers are awesome. both of them. this story is about my baby brother pierce.

he's been campaigning to become the next student body president of hampden sydney college lately. he mentioned he might run when we were in argentina for new years, but he was slightly hesitant--knowing it would be a lot of work, because he'd be the type of president to actually DO something.

i suppose something needed to be done.

and pierce heard that call.

his posters said, "i'm pickin' up what you're puttin' down."

indeed!

pierce spoke with a lot of student groups on campus. maybe ALL of them. last week he spoke to the gay/straight alliance. they started their meeting by sharing their porn star names... which, as everyone knows, consists of a pet's name and your street name. who didn't have a porn star name in high school?

so what was pierce's?

bubba buffalo.

and as such, he's just been elected president. bubba would be proud, God rest his soul. congrats pierce! and congrats hampden sydney! you picked a good'n.

chicken dance and treadmills

2009-02-26T12:17:00.002-05:00

last year i wrote about how surreal it was to listen to music from home against the backdrop of bustling benin, west africa.

now the opposite is true... when an african song starts playing on my shuffle as i fight with the treadmill (i can't wait for sunnier mornings and outside runs!)

it's happened before. i can't help but smile at the music, thinking of outdoor market scenes and sandy toes. but today it took everything in me not to jump off the treadmill and start gyrating... struttin' my african dance moves. oh, how the heads would turn! how can you NOT dance to that music?!

that settles it

2009-02-19T14:35:00.002-05:00

in the past week, i have come to realize... i've settled. i've been here less than a year, but this is definitely my town, my house is definitely my home, and my friends are true friends... not just on loan.

i think hosting the 5th annual (1st one here) wine and cheese party last friday sealed the deal. i had to (finally) unpack the last few boxes that had been living in various corners for months. i (finally) took all the empty boxes lying around up to the attic. i finished hanging pictures, many from once familiar, now distant, sites in africa. i even hung up my "mali mud cloth" that i'd been waiting to collect from rhett in dc, but finally caved and asked him to send it to me. my house looks like a museum of artifacts from all over. add to that the very grown up grass rug, leather dining chairs and real (versus hand-me-down) sofa i just obtained (it's my new form of investments... buy furniture i'll keep forever while the stock market struggles). it's all very adult and not temporary and slightly contrary to my nature.

and it's becoming my town too. i know people everywhere... the movie theater, grocery store, waiters recognize me and say hello. it's a little different from knowing all the bouncers and bar tenders in baltimore. 30 people were crammed in my kitchen friday night (the living and dining rooms were much less popular), and 30 more couldn't make it (out of town for the long weekend). how did this happen? in 8 months? less than 4 seasons?

makes me look forward to what this next season, spring, will bring.

ridiculous

2009-02-04T14:41:00.002-05:00

i have moved to a city that knows NOTHING about snow.

they are paralyzed by it.

they get all up in a tizzy just THINKING about it!

i woke up this morning... didn't even notice the snow outside my window. why? because there wasn't much! when i finally did notice a dusting on the ground, i walked out to turn on my car and let the little bit of snow on the windshield melt off while i changed into my gym clothes.

i didn't even have to get out the windshield scraper. i don't even know where my handy scraper is... because it's NOT NECESSARY here!

i drove to the gym, walked into spin class, and was immediately asked if i was teaching. apparently all instructors are told not to come in any day that the county schools close for snow. my face contorted in shock as i screamed, "they canceled school today?!?!?!" oh yes. they did.

so spin class was canceled.

lucky for me, i brought my trusty swimsuit along... so i hit the pool. 1000 yards into my swim, a life guard pelted me with a foam thingy in the head. "pool is closing. you have to leave." what? seems the next lifeguard on duty couldn't brave the 3 snowflakes in his driveway to come to work.

i went home. i fixed a protein shake. i got a call from my boss... the church had canceled all activities scheduled for wednesday, including youth group tonight. never mind that the sun is shining brightly, melting even imaginary snow away.

the up-side to all this is that i get a night off. i haven't had a free night in... 3 weeks? and though i'm dogsitting, and won't actually be staying in my home, i'm looking forward to a very chill night of addressing valentines, watching tv, and cuddling with spike and stella (the dogs).

prodding

2009-01-29T18:17:00.002-05:00

i recently received two emails regarding the current dearth of blogging.

the first said, "things must be going well with the boy... no recent blogging. your fans miss you."

mmm... you could say that... but, fans?

the second said, "i’m just hoping everything is okay with you. you haven’t been blogging since you got back from your trip after christmas, and i just was 'motherly' worried."

no need to worry. all is well.

anyway, the truth is, i've been slow on the blog circuit for a while now... boy or no boy. but i'll see what i can muster up, given the encouraging nudges here and there.

so here's a little piece of news. i went skiing with 94 middle school kids and 11 other chaperons last weekend. it was amazing. well, not the skiing... the skiing was typical eastern slush... but the kids were amazing. not one got hurt. not even their feelings got hurt! 94 pubescent kids living in harmony. amazing. ok, one kid did break his arm. but he didn't find out till he returned, so i'm not sure that counts.

From 2008-09 Winter

pictured are me, sloan, jane and liza... with our carolina blue bandannas and matching carolina blue eyes.

ringing in the new year

2009-01-06T09:52:00.005-05:00

pierce, pablo, cou and i spent new year´s eve with cou´s family. well, first we went to pablo´s parents´ house, met his family, then went to his grandparents´ house, met more family, ate some sushi (pablo is japanese), and then made our way to ernesto and luisa´s (cou´s family) where we met up with aunts and cousins that i hadn´t seen in years. we enjoyed a delicious meal of maybe 5 different salads, canelones (the same meal luisa made for me my first night in argentina 11 years ago), and a platter full of sweets. as the clock struck 12, we each ate 12 white raisins while making 3 wishes, a tradition luisa´s family brought over from spain.
then the fire works started. explosions sounded from every direction, so we ran to the back yard to watch... and light a few of our own. i´m not talking little wussy roman candles or sparklers. i´m talking HUGE fireworks of green, purple, red and gold! i cackled like all get out, knowing i could never play with such explosives back home. so fun! globos also filled the sky... miniature hot air balloons like slow motion shooting stars. it was a beautiful night.
the next day we went back to cou´s parents´ place for an asado, which is like a cook out, but to the nth degree. chorizo (spicey sausage), ribs, steak, morcilla (blood sausage) and chicken. and that´s just what we ate on new year´s day! pierce and i have also sampled liver, kidney, tongue, brains, intestines. so much meat. so delicious. so fun.

i see dead people

2008-12-31T14:28:00.003-05:00

yesterday cou and her cousin sylvina took pierce and me back to the capitol to see one of my favorite places... recoleta. the cemetary in recoleta is reason enough to visit, though cou hates being there and pablo was glad he missed it. i don´t think they like to be around dead people. but the cemetary is unlike anything we have back home! i was just as fascinated by it this time as i was at age 16. pierce also loved it. many famous people are burried in this cemetary, including eva peron (evita!!) and presidents and military leaders. often people are burried close to the very man that killed them! but the structures in the cemetary are what interest me most. like miniature chapels all over, some with stained glass, some with huge angels atop marble, some with little ventilation fans! it´s a maze of culture, and i love it.

after cruising the tombs, we stopped by the adjacent church and then visited various artists´ booths, buying a few souvinirs for ourselves and our friends. we stopped for an afternoon snack (as is customary), people watched, and talked about life. pierce and i are really enjoying this leisurely pace.

the good stuff

2008-12-30T10:52:00.002-05:00

last night we ate pizza (my favorite international food), empanadas and dulce de leche ice cream. ahhhh, the good life.

pierce and i went shopping with cou and her cousins (who look the same as they did 11 years ago) yesterday. probably wasn´t pierce´s idea of the perfect day, had had to take a nap afterward, but it was a cultural experience nonetheless (where else can you smoke IN the mall) and he was a good sport. and every one of us bought something, so a successful day overall.

there´s a 3 hour difference between here and home, so pierce and i have taken to living as if we never left the states. we stay up till 2am (11pm back home) and sleep till 11am (8am back home). lovely.

and now it´s time for lunch!

don´t cry for me

2008-12-28T19:37:00.002-05:00

argentina!!!!

the truth is... i´ve been away 11 years.

pierce (my not so little bro) and i are in argentina visiting the family i lived with 11 years ago, when i was a mere sophomore in high school. it´s been awesome. my family hasn´t changed a bit. corina (cou... the girl who nick named me lau) married pablo 2 months ago, so that´s different. it´s also the purpose of my trip. we made a pact waaay back to go to each others weddings. i´m just 2 months late. cou and pablo live in a darling house they just built, but they only have their bed and a table and chairs for furniture. pierce and i are sleeping on cots. it´s great.

luisa and ernesto (my argentine parents) live in the exact same house with the exact same furniture. it was crazy to walk into my old room yesterday! like i´ve only been gone 11 days. i love it. and luisa still coddles me as if i were her own baby. she also keeps encouraging me to eat... i´m pretty sure she´s responsible for the 30 lbs i gained when i lived here! that won´t happen again.

some things have changed, though. it´s not quite as safe, mostly because people are less sure of their circumstances, i suppose. i used to be able to walk on my own... now cou get´s nervous at the thought of me running with pierce, though i keep telling her i´ve done much worse.

today we went to the capitol city, buenos aires (cou lives in a suburb about 45 minutes north). we visited la boca (the brightly painted italian slums where the tango orignated) where we people watched for hours as we waited for our lunch to arrive. pierce was excited to split a parilla (meat plate) with pablo. he´s pretty pumped about 10 days of the best red meat in the world. we also went to the plaza de mayo, where we walked the plaza, visited the buenos aires cathedral and the casa rosada (that would be the pink house, like our white house, where evita sang her lovely songs off the balcony in movie life). while at the casa rosada, i conned pierce into taking a picture with me and one of the guards... who, by the way, is smiling because his hand is on my butt. very friendly! then we went to the puerto madero, the old part of town, where we boarded a boat and watched a catholic mass (on the boat) and walked all over. it was a full day.

pablo is a great addition. pierce and i like him a lot. he and cou dated for 8 years before marrying in october, so they´re like best friends. pablo can COOK! he stuffs more food down my throat than luisa. he´s got a great sense of humor, and the 4 of us travel well together.

anyway, the argentine adventures begin!

facebook official

2008-12-17T13:35:00.004-05:00

one of the perks of being a youth minister is talking about sex.

and i talk about sex a lot... like... every month at least. it's very important!

in a recent conversation with some very savvy 10th grade girls, i posed the question: what defines a "couple?"

a few answers percolated to the surface... including, "if it's on facebook, it's official."

and there you have it.

"couples" according to a 16 year old.

out with a bang

2008-12-10T14:24:00.004-05:00

i know this will come as a disappointment to many a reader, but i have suspended my eharmony subscription. it's just not how i roll. here's one last nugget of gold from the countless hopeless matches i received (not that they are hopeless... but the match most certainly is). typos in quotations are authentic.

meet filipe.

filipe is a truck driver.

filipe's passion: "relaxing in my front lawn by my flag pole" and looking at ants.

one thing filipe wishes more people would notice about him: "i am really cool. just wait until i rig an october corn maze in the garden for our children IF an eharmony lady says 'yes' before my viagra days arrive."

one thing that only felipe's best friends know is: "many ladies here at eharmony want to know what i'd like my spouse & companion to enjoy doing with me? cooking together and i do mean cooking in ever since of the word... i just bought an american made, cast iron, dutch oven."

some additional information filipe wanted you to know: "i want you to be a 'career woman' if you choose to be, BUT if you live your life by living on credit (i'm strong-willed about it) then i'm not your man. i'm not a penny pincher. i roll the pennies."

told you. golden. farewell eharmony. it's been... err... real... somethin'.

why not to blog

2008-12-10T14:15:00.002-05:00

i haven't so much been delinquent on blogging the past 2 weeks, as i've been sick and busy. but i did accomplish a thing or two... took my final exam (think i did okay), made a gazillion cookies with girlfriends one night, decorated the christmas tree, made a ginger bread house (though it's actually 3 baltimore row houses because you know how i <3 b'more), iced a gazillion cookies on my own, watched a few movies, hosted a small dinner gathering, all while fighting back strep with lots of vitamins, tea, and homeopathic remedies. i've got an acupuncture appointment friday. then i should be on the up and up.

study in contrasts

2008-11-28T19:46:00.002-05:00

i was driving up to virginia earlier this week (where i am now, visiting family) and i couldn't help but contemplate the differences in this thanksgiving and the last. for one, my whole family (including both divorced parents) came together for the first holiday in almost 3 years. that was definitely cool. and easy. and natural, even?

but really, what got me thinking, was listening to african music while driving a car (something i didn't have last year) by myself (versus a jam packed bush taxi) on very smooth paved roads (no pot holes) through the mountains (not the beach) on a cool fall day (no 60% humidity here)!!

the music took me back to a very different place and time. the always present feeling of sand between your toes. the never very cold beer. the lost sense of time. but what was it that made it feel so very different? not these details... something less tangible.

finally it occurred to me. i think it was this feeling of being in a forgotten land. kinda feeling like you don't matter. not in a bad way. just in a all-that-matters-is-this-moment-and-how-i-live-it kind of way. here, it's always what's leading to the next thing. there, the next thing won't come along till you're finished with what you're doing now. it's very very different. and so distant. like you're not just in a different geographic location, but a different time altogether.

sometimes i really miss it.

which isn't to say i don't appreciate the paved roads and time spent alone thinking in the car, fully equipped with a seatbelt.

just different.

f-f-f-frigid

2008-11-22T18:46:00.003-05:00

last night 23 high school kids made shelters from cardboard boxes on the front lawn of our church. our first official lock OUT. the idea was to sleep outside in boxes in an effort to bring attention to homelessness in our community the night before the annual homeless awareness walk. the idea came about last spring or summer, though, in much warmer weather.

i don't think anyone expected the 16 degree chill.

parents called the church saying their child couldn't come (that's fine). our numbers dropped a little.

but 23 brave souls still showed up.

and so did 4 news trucks.

awareness accomplished.

a few events in the evening that helped drive the point home:

1. mark, a homeless neighbor, came to the church to share his story and answer the kids questions. he gave us pointers on how to set up our boxes. he told us the key is to keep your hands, feet and head warm. he said he had no idea we were actually going to sleep outside ALL night, and he was so touched by what we were doing. gayle, a homeless lady i ran into at the coffee shop said the same thing, as did the mother of a homeless family sleeping IN our church last night. their appreciation made it a little easier to bare the cold with my kids.

2. one of our youth has been interviewing homeless people for two years, working on her gold award project for girl scouts. we watched a documentary she had put together. it was cool for the kids to hear from one of their peers how they can make a difference.

when all was said and done, 1 kid went home early, 13 kids went into the sanctuary (all curled up around the altar... pretty cute), and 9 kids braved the cold all night... along with 3 adults.

and then we walked 5k.

and then i went to class, fell asleep during the lecture, and got sent home :)

you are my sunshine

2008-11-20T17:31:00.003-05:00

i'm at caribou right now... working on my LAST theology paper (for this term anyway) and procrastinating (obviously) as i wait for one of my 10th grade kids to meet me for coffee (to discuss a recent break-up). good times.

and i've been working on my paper the better part of today, as i will be doing tomorrow, because the material is so dense that i can hardly make hide nor hair of it, despite my love for karl barth.

anyway. whenever i'm feeling down... like i'm failing as a writer... i look at this:and all my sorrows and self-doubt melt away. keegan has that effect on me. the little boy i call my nephew, who (whom?) i love to no end.

thanks keegster.

who needs sleep?

2008-11-17T16:58:00.002-05:00

well you're never gonna get it.
who needs sleep?
tell me, what's that for...
(lyrics from a bare naked ladies song... where in the world did that band get their name anyway?)

friday night was our middle school lock-in. we had 84 kids. sometimes i forget the magnitude of our youth program, but it's hard to ignore when you have to rent TWO charter buses just to get to the mini-theme-park at the mall (after it closes) so the kids have their run of the laser-tag, go carts, games and climbing wall. oh, sure, we did the more traditional lock-in stuff too... like playing sardines... nothing like hide-and-seek in a big dark church!

ah, memories.

what i had forgotten, though, is how COOL it is to stay up at that age! one kid came up to me toward the end of the movie we watched (cheaper by the dozen) to ask what time it was. i looked at my watch and said, "almost 3am..." her face lit up in wonderment, "wow... coooooool."

the following day i watched a kid tell his mom, "we had church at 1 in the morning!!!"

awesome.

needless to say, none of us were very rested for the service projects we participated in the following morning. hundreds of church peeps did work all over the city. pretty cool.

and this weekend will be our lock-OUT, when the high schoolers sleep outside in boxes. me too. good times to come.

not the juan for me

2008-11-14T09:34:00.003-05:00

deep down inside, i know i probably shouldn't write this post... that it will bite me in the butt someday. but i'm going to anyway because i think it's a good story. my fear is that it'll come across as if i'm making fun of someone... of juan... but this is really a story of how i am a complete idiot.

see, i have this kinda outgoing personality. and sometimes that can be misconstrued as being flirtatious when i meet men. i suppose that was the case with juan, because he started calling me last week (after getting my number from a friend), making good conversation, and eventually asking when we could hang out.

now he never actually asked me on a date.

so i wasn't sure about his intentions.

hence my entirely ridiculous response.

juan: you got plans thursday?
me: yep. going to a benefit.
juan: drinks afterward?
me: nope, may be out late.
juan: how about this weekend?
me: i've got a lock-in with my kids... really busy.
juan: sometime else?
me: i'm pretty much booked till mid-december.
juan: how about mornings?
me: mornings work. i can do that.

**awkward pause while i'm figuring out how to dodge a bullet i'm not sure exists**

me: um, juan, i gotta tell you... i don't want to sound presumptuous, but i just have to let you know i'm not interested in dating you right now.

**shoot!! right now?? that doesn't sound right?!?!**

me: errrr... or... ever.

**ahhh! what am i doing?!? or ever?!? how mean is that?!?!**

me: i mean, i know i sometimes send mixed messages unintentionally, so if that's the message i've been sending, i just want to correct it.
juan: ok. are you seeing someone?
me: no.

**i'm the worst person ever!**

juan: ok. so you want to grab coffee friday?
me: sure!

**how can he be nice when i'm so mean?!?! why wasn't i born knowing how to do this??**

and then we had a lovely coffee this morning. no real surprise there. he's a great guy. smart, funny, conversational, nice, handsome. i'd set him up with one of my friends in a heartbeat. hey, there's an idea...

religulous

2008-11-12T11:36:00.002-05:00

i went to see religulous last night with a group of friends from various faith backgrounds. it was about what i expected from bill maher. some parts were hilarious (everyone had to put up with my snorting), some parts were offensive, and some (especially the ending) were extremely depressing. i definitely wouldn't tout it as a documentary. the cuts and editing were way too much in favor of bill and his agenda.

and what is bill's agenda? to put an end to religion before it puts an end to the world. to take up the banner of doubt. this assumes two things: 1) faith and doubt don't mix, and 2) doubt would end all conflict.

i think it's sad that bill is under the impression that faith leaves no room for doubt. that faith and certainty are synonymous. isn't it the opposite? is it not certainty that leaves no room for faith? yes, hebrews 11 says, "faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see," but this is HOPE we're certain of. faith is the beginning of knowledge, not the the end of it. st. augustine says "i believe that i might understand." the theologian paul tillich says, "doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith." the scientist dr. francis collins says, "doubt is an unavoidable part of belief." speaking from personal experience, the two go hand in hand... creating this back and forth conversation with God that grows me as a person every day.

and how would pure doubt end all conflict? is it not doubt that sends our economy spiraling downward? doubt that causes paranoia? faith in nothing? hope in nothing?

overall, i wouldn't suggest watching religulous to learn anything. but it does spark some great conversation. so if you do go, make sure you follow up with beer and pizza.

my butt hurts

2008-11-06T17:24:00.002-05:00

i went to my first spin class today.

i may have mentioned that i've fallen into a very athletic group of friends... mostly triathletes... lots of them "ironmen." it's just the thing to do here. and after months of saying i wouldn't get sucked in, i'm now saying i'll start training, and maybe one day do a little baby triathlon. i bought a new pair of running shoes that i actually do enjoy running in (amazing the difference a good set of shoes will make!) i have plans to buy a roadbike later this winter... maybe february? but in the mean time, it's spin class for me. so i went with my girlfriend julie this morning, and it was... boring. other than the fact that i got to talk to julie here and there. that IS why i'm falling for all this nonsense--the social aspect of it. i think i'll maybe warm up to spin class eventually. in the mean time, i can at least enjoy the fact that i think it's building up the muscles around my knee, which will really help me run.

now i just have to buy a swim suit.

useless blither

2008-11-04T13:47:00.002-05:00

stealing that one from furst.

i feel like i should post something today since it is election day and voting is important (get out the vote!)

i did vote, and my ballot would confuse just about anyone.

so rather than confuse you all as well, i'll tell you about how much i like to go to the park.

i was dogsitting this past weekend. ollie is the best dog. i should take a picture next time i stay with him. for one, ollie is a great cuddler. he keeps my feet warm, but doesn't get in my way... perfect. secondly, ollie sits and contemplates important things while i'm reading. he can be so stoic. he's also my muse. he sat on my feet while i typed a paper sunday, and i'm convinced that's why i finished the whole thing in one sitting.

ollie is also a smart ass. at one point, as i stretched out on the couch reading homework on a friday night, loving my class and the reading, but lamenting how it encroaches on my social life... i turned to ollie and said, "you know, even if i were to really like a guy... i don't have time for a boyfriend." ollie, in his infinite wisdom, rolled his eyes at me.

but this is supposed to be about parks, not dogs. ollie lives 2 doors down from one of the entrances to a great park. it is so much fun to walk there, and ollie is the perfect excuse. the breadth and depth of humanity you encounter at the park is amazing! all different people, all different shapes and sizes and colors. and dogs. everyone is so different, and yet they all come to the same spot. a spark of commonality between us all. and this weekend, with the especially lovely fall weather, i couldn't help but be awed by the beauty of all God's creation... the people, colors, smells, animals, sounds, feels... like it was one great big church.

and now i've said something about parks.

oh, snap!

2008-11-01T10:34:00.002-05:00

just checked to see how many matches were omitted by my friend the other night, at which point i discovered he dumped the ONLY guy i was in communication with! and the reason he gave?

"i think the difference in our values is too great"

thanks, man. a whole month and a half of investment down the drain. hilarious.

just be

2008-10-31T16:00:00.002-05:00

wednesday night we held a candlelight vigil for kids that had come in town for greer's funeral. we weren't sure how many to expect... maybe 15? maybe 150? over 200 students showed up. over 1200 attended the funeral the following day.

at the vigil, each person was invited to come to the front of the church and light their candle from the pascal candle, the candle used in easter tide to celebrate Jesus' resurrection. john left a small mic (the kind you attach to your shirt) at the candle for people to speak into if they wanted to share a blessing from greer. because the mic was small, people had trouble finding it and getting it to work. lisa (another of the clergy) turned to me and said, "why don't you go up there and hold the mic?"

so i did. which isn't saying much. but i got to look into the faces of every person lighting their candle, whether they spoke or not. what i found was that just standing there was actually a huge deal. people wanted to make eye contact. to be acknowledged. they sought from me looks of empathy or encouragement, even without knowing me. some mouthed 'thank you' as they passed by. others, including greer's mother, reached out and touched my arm or squeezed my shoulder as they spoke. what might have been a mundane job of holding a mic turned into a meaningful and totally needed means of connecting. this is a need we share. and all you really have to do is just be there, be aware, and be open.

e-harmony update

2008-10-31T15:58:00.001-05:00

nothing to report, except that i let one of my guy friends into my e-harmony account last night and he dumped half my matches.

and sometimes it sucks

2008-10-28T13:17:00.002-05:00

it's no secret i love my job. who wouldn't love a job that requires you to eat pizza 4 times a week... minimum! but sometimes even the best of jobs can get you down, like when someone dies.

i met with a group of 12th graders sunday, and the topic on everyone's mind was a guy named greer who had fallen off a mountain ledge, punctured his lung, and was in critical condition. i didn't know greer, since he graduated from high school before i came here, but all the kids knew him. just as we were ending our time together, the phone rang. the voice on the other end told me greer had just died, and then i turned to the kids to give them the same news. kids i'm only just getting to know. it sucked.

yet, there's something beautiful about watching a community come together to cry and laugh and be angry and remember. i didn't know greer, but i'm touched by him as i hear the kids share stories. and i'm touched by the kids, too, that they'd let me into their space during this time.

so yeah, sometimes it sucks. but even then, and especially then, i love my job.

b'more & buffalo

2008-10-24T14:37:00.002-05:00

okay here it is... the weekend roadtrip synopsis.

it started in baltimore, where i landed just in time for a lovely dinner with christina and andy (soon to be married) at pazo. sadly, christina's car broke down, so i had to leave them to wait for the tow truck while my friend john picked me up and took me to the ole' neighborhood standby, ropewalk.

From 2008 Fall

if you don't know it already, ropewalk is a "republican bar" which really just means that the owners are republicanists and they aren't afraid to show it. doesn't really describe the clientele, though. anywhoo... a picture with the gipper is a must. lots of great friends came out to catch up (laurel and david came up from dc!) and that was awesome.

mike and i hit the road early saturday, bound for buffalo. we arrived just as mollie's plane from denver landed, so we picked her up and drove to canada (yes, we all had our passports) in time to see niagra at sunset.

From 2008 Fall

we did get lost on the way. we accidentally drove north of niagra, but didn't realize it until we were crossing the (wrong) bridge into canada. there was no way to turn around, so we just waited in line. the security was so chill (and cute!! mollie and i wanted to steal the guard and take him with us!!). he laughed once he figured out we were lost (such a cute laugh it was, too) and pointed us in the right direction. the drive was beautiful! all the changing leaves and rolling hills, ahhh. finally we made it to niagra falls.

From 2008 Fall

one thing about canadians... they love their snails. snails have the right of way!

we drove back to buffalo for a little party at the "love shack" (the bride's maiden name is love... it's cute) where we caught up with lots of friends that i hadn't seen in months. awesome.

sunday we stopped by the anchor bar, birthplace of buffalo wings, for some yummy finger lickin' food.

From 2008 Fall

this came at the recommendation of susan and others, and i have to say, it is a must when in buffalo. my mouth is watering now just thinking about it!

finally, the big occasion was upon us... the start of adam and bethany's marriage. i have to say, this was one of the neatest weddings i've ever witnessed, even before it started. their invitations were thoughtful, true, and humble. no response cards were used, saving lots of paper and expense. over and over again, throughout the engagement, wedding and reception, adam and bethany continually pointed to Christ in their relationship.

From 2008 Fall

it was (and is) beautiful.

then dancing ensued...

From 2008 Fall

and the shenanigans began.

eric, the best man, did an awesome toast. our table was literally reeling with laughter, though some of it might have gone over the general public's collective heads.

From 2008 Fall

i have since learned that you can look at best man speeches on youtube... this is apparently how the modern best man gets all his toast material. very unoriginal, and yet hugely successful! i imagine eric was the only one to quote both emily post and amy vanderbilt, though, paragon of etiquette that he is.

monday we made our way back to baltimore, so excited to stop at sheetz, the best gas station in the world, along the way.

From 2008 Fall

where else can you order a side of mac & chili? yum. erin and i had lots of girlie talk and catch up time in the car, which was awesome.

we came home to keegan!

From 2008 Fall

the best little nephew in the world.

christina joined us all for dinner and then she and i went back to her place for hours of uber productive wedding planning (she's the bride, i'm the maid of honor) and just good ole' sister time.

it was, by far, the best weekend ever. and there you have it.

PENIS!

2008-10-23T15:44:00.002-05:00

one of the privileges i have as a youth minister is to talk to kids about sex and sexuality and how it pertains to their faith. i spent a lot of time this summer developing a sex curriculum with lots of help from various books, experts and friends (the friend conversations were definitely the funniest).

so we had a sex talk with 11th and 12th graders a few weeks ago, and the whole first half of it was pretty painfully awkward. finally one kid said, "it's not that this isn't relevant to us. it's definitely relevant. we just don't want to talk about it."

last night we talked with 10th graders and decided to squish all the awkwardness into the first 5 minutes. john started by saying, "we're going to play a game you all know and love... a game you probably played in the middle school lunchroom..." one girl raised her hand and said, "the penis game???" YES! the very one.

for those of you that don't know, the penis game goes a little something like this.

one person whispers "penis."

the next says "PEnis" a little louder.

then "PENIS" and "PEENNIISSS!!!!!!"

kids find this especially entertaining in public spaces... like lunchrooms or during spanish class. each person that says "penis" is basically daring the next to say it louder. i totally grew up playing this game. sometimes even in sunday school... the mother of all dares.

next time you've got to talk to kids about sex, try out the penis game, if it's age appropriate. definitely breaks the ice.

so excited

2008-10-16T15:43:00.003-05:00

this time tomorrow, i'll be on a plane to BALTIMORE! the city that claims my heart. i'm headed to adam & bethany's wedding, which is actually in buffalo, but i'm flying into b'more JUST so i can get an extra 20 hours of quality time (in the car) with my friends. AND i get to do some wedding planning with the lovely christina, due to be married in may! i'm so excited about his weekend, i can hardly stand it!!!! start warming up the beer taps at ropewalk... lau's coming home.

lessons from a 14 year old

2008-10-14T14:34:00.003-05:00

i was talking to one of my youth last week, discussing the high school dating scene over a cup of coffee (have i mentioned that i love my job?) at one point she said, "every one of my guy friends likes at least 3 girls. they just can't make up their minds!" she was lamenting the fact that even her boyfriend was into other girls. and i thought, ah, poor high schoolers. they just don't know what they want. i'm so glad that's not MY dating scene any longer...

but perhaps i was wrong.

i visited my friend carolyn (and her wonder dog molly!) last friday in chapel hill. we met up with my rock star (literally) friend, alex wilkins, and then went to his gig at a bar across from UNC. it was fun.

but during the course of the night, a guy named ryan professed that i was his soul mate. maybe this is because we were talking about theology and linguistics in a bar. i mean, it is rare bar talk. but soul mate? and it was especially discouraging, as ryan happens to be ENGAGED. how can an engaged man mistake me for his soul mate? really?

the real kicker was when i came home to find an email from engaged-man-ryan, who i suppose found my email address on my blog, stating that he's really a very nice and faithful guy, but that he'd like to start up a conversation type relationship with me. over email. and i'll add that his email address seemed to have been made up, strictly for this purpose. s-k-e-t-c-h-y.

point being... do 14 year olds never grow up?

here i thought the "liking 3 girls at once" problem was reserved to the dramas of high school, but it doesn't seem to be a safe assumption.

the evening still rocked, though, since i got to see carolyn AND even did an impromptu duet with alex. i'm lovin' me some tambourine.

fall fashion

2008-10-07T13:52:00.003-05:00

so, bachelor numero dos responded to the "thoughtful" (thanks suzz) question regarding homosexuality, and his response was not only reasonable... he could relate. seems "esteban" (as we'll call him) has a gay brother. go figure.

it's the latest accessory.

esteban is a bit of a paradox to me. some things he says make me think, 'this guy is real and has lived and i think we could be friends.' other things make me think, 'are you brainwashed?' so we'll see what's behind door number 2, i suppose.

pablo peters out

2008-10-06T13:49:00.002-05:00

seems the pablo story ends before it really begins.

see, i was at lunch with a girlfriend and guyfriend from work. we'll call them lindsay and tim (since those are indeed their names). i was updating them on the latest in the eharmony saga. oddly enough, both of them were "familiar" with eharmony already. i'm telling you, it's everywhere!

anyway.

when i mentioned i was in "open communication" (ie: emailing) with this new guy, lindsay said, "huh... what's his name?"

i said, "well his profile says *pablo* but he signs his emails *brad*" (just go with the made up names).

lindsay's eyes just about bugged out of her head, "don't talk to him!"

"you know him?"

"i told you i'd tried eharmony before!" she gave me a few reasons to steer clear of pablo... so that's that.

small world.

i just emailed pablo to say, sorry man, but you've been matched with one of my friends, and i've got to bail.

another one bites the dust.

whoa whoa whoa

2008-10-06T10:17:00.002-05:00

apparently the fact that i'm blogging about eharmony is not a deterrent. i'm now in "open communication" with a guy we'll call pablo. you know how i love nicknames (not so special bryan... blind date bob... etc.)

cat's out of the bag

2008-10-05T21:12:00.002-05:00

i got a response. and i think it was more than reasonable. and that's all i'll say about that because it's really not fair for me to broadcast some guy's thoughts on homosexuality, right? it's not his blog.

but it is mine, so i will tell you what he asked me in response, and how i answered (and then you'll know why the cat is indeed out of the bag).

1. What are some things you've done for fun in your free time over the last few weeks? (doesn't have to be anything crazy, just an snapshot of what you do for fun)
I'm headed out to grill with some friends now, went to a movie with girlfriends last night, high school football game Friday (that's job related, but fun too), dinner with friends Thursday night, and I was in South Africa the week before that. Fun usually involves eating, drinking, or something active (like wall climbing or salsa dancing). I like to be with my friends. If I'm alone, I read for for fun too.
(note: just to keep things honest, i didn't actually grill out tonight, but had cheese and crackers with friends instead. and i don't wall climb often, but it's an example of "something active" and i would go more often if i could.)

2. Describe your spirituality.
That's broad. My relationship with God is very important to me and informs just about everything I do. I read the Bible and journal (pray) every morning. Not because I think that's how "spirituality" ought to be done, but because it feeds me. I'm enrolled in a theology class, which I enjoy. I also have a lot of non- "spiritual" friends, which I also enjoy. Both challenge me in very meaningful ways, and both keep me growing and authentic. I think spirituality is personal, but it's not something I'm reluctant to share in the least.

** and here's the kicker! **

3. Why did you join eHarmony?
Honestly, some friends and I decided it would be funny for me to give it a 3 month trial and then blog about it. That said, it's something I've taken seriously, as it wouldn't be an honest "try" otherwise. I do desire to be in a meaningful relationship, but I thought surely eharmony would take the fun and romance out of dating... so this experiment of sorts helped me to take the plunge. I suppose you can google me now.

wonder if that'll get me dumped?

1 down, 2 to go

2008-10-03T11:44:00.003-05:00

well i've exhausted the first month of my eharmony membership. i only paid for 3, and i'm not keen on renewing. so 2 months to go before i'm back to... more of the same... ie: not dating. but i'm okay with that.

perhaps that's the problem? i mean, if asking authentic questions gets you nothing but crickets, maybe this kind of thing is meant for peeps that are SO eager to date, that authenticity falls by the wayside. i think eharmony doesn't really jive with my M.O.

awkward silences

2008-09-30T16:17:00.002-05:00

alright. let me explain "guided communication" on eharmony.

step 1: guy sends me 4 pre-fabricated multiple choice eharmony questions (i never instigate conversation... call me old fashioned).

step 2: i answer 4 questions and respond with 5 pre-fab questions.

step 3: guy answers my questions

step 4: i send "must haves/can't stands" or "mhcs" in eharmony speak (yes, they have their own language).

step 5: he sends his mhcs.

step 6: i send 3 questions that i actually get to make up myself...

and that's as far as i've gotten... because 2 guys have yet to answer my questions. i think this is the one that stumps them:

how do you feel about homosexuality? a member of my family is gay. it's hard for me to wrap my head around at times, but i love this person dearly. just thought i'd put that out there.

one of the guys hasn't responded in almost 2 weeks. i only blindsided the other guy just yesterday. and the jeopardy theme song plays on...

and i'm back

2008-09-28T14:14:00.005-05:00

south africa was awesome, though i took very few pictures (it wasn't that kind of trip) and bought nothing while i was there (other than decongestants for my cold... why do i always get colds in africa?)... i DID get to see 5 of my students from benin!pictured are anthelme, alexis, yves, jonas, pelagie and me.
i stayed in a "luxury tent" 2 hours north of jo'burg. i wasn't sure what that meant until the porter at the hotel ushered me to my room, at which point i exclaimed, "holy crap!" (i have a way with words.) the thatch roof made it a "tent," while the heated floors, huge bathroom, plush furniture and chandelier made it "luxury." it was a paradoxical week to say the least. worlds colliding on so many levels. thanks for your prayers; it was quite the blessing.

off to africa

2008-09-17T22:57:00.001-05:00

i'm leaving for jo'burg, south africa, tomorrow morning. i haven't packed. i'll be gone 9 days. i have a theology test 2 hours after i get back to the US, so i'm typing my little fingers off, trying to get as much information into my computer as possible so i don't have to lug the dictionary of christian theology and the dictionary of the christian church along with me. good times. i did do laundry this morning, so at least i've got that going for me.

i'll be staying in a "luxury tent." i can't wait to see what that means!

i'm pretty psyched that i get to spend a week working with YFC again. it'll be great to work with youth from all over the world (it's an international youth leadership conference), and it will be great to see some missionary friends too.

i'll admit, though, that i'm really going to miss my kids here, and the peeps i work with, and my friends. i'm so glad i'm going to miss them. it feels good.

please pray for my safety, thanks.

picture perfect

2008-09-16T16:00:00.004-05:00

a few words about posting pictures on eharmony.

first off, you probably don't want to post a picture of you hanging all over a girl (if you're a guy)... and you certainly shouldn't post a series of pictures of you with the same girl over and over. no one wants to see how hot (or not) your ex was.

if you do post a picture of you with a girl, there's no need to add the caption "i'm on the left" if you're standing on the left. chances are, we can figure that out... one would hope.

shirtless pics (for guys) are a little risky. they appear especially stupid if it's clear that you're taking a picture of yourself... shirtless. really?

beware of cheesy captions. "it's 5 o'clock somewhere," "i'm too sexy for my shirt," or "i love kids!" to name a few.

if that really is who you are, then keep it up. i'm all for authenticity. some girl (not me) will totally dig it.

that said, i probably ought to post the lone picture posted on my profile. i'm sure it's worthy of critique as well. it's not on this computer though. i'll just tell you, it's a semi-profile pic, my hair thrown up in a mess, no make-up, and a couple of discreet elephants in the background. it's how i normally look, minus the elephants... which i really posted to see if anyone would notice the context of the picture in the first place.

addendum:
here is said picture...

i love my church

2008-09-14T11:58:00.003-05:00

this isn't a new phrase. i've been saying it since i moved here, but friends in baltimore know i used to say it there too. what can i say. i'm a church lady.

but really, my church is amazing. last sunday was parish day, when we celebrated the beginning of the church program year. we had blue grass, fried chicken, games, face painting, and of course... a climbing wall.
seriously? yes. and if that's not cool enough, the wall was donated in thanksgiving of... me. i mean, some people get altar flowers donated in their honor, but what says "we're glad you're here" like a rock climbing wall? pretty much nothing. my church is awesome.

i found myself thinking the same this morning, as trumpets heralded the start of the worship service, a string quartet played during eucharist (the music just about made me cry), john preached a great and thoughtful sermon, and everywhere there is a sense of "we are so glad you're here..." whether you're a kid or an old man or a youth minister. and the altar flowers smelled nice too. i love it.

online dumping

2008-09-09T19:59:00.003-05:00

i was a little surprised the first time i got an email saying, "there comes a time in every relationship when one must decide whether to continue or move on... so-and-so has decided to close communication with you for **insert reason here*** at this time. we feel it's important for you to have the opportunity to respond, should you choose to do so." that's a paraphrase. anyway, i was like... 'i got dumped?!? but i don't even know you! i haven't even read your profile yet!' but then i was like, 'wait a sec, this means i can clean the losers out of my inbox. woohoo!'

i've been on a cleaning spree.

every day, around 3am, i get a new crop of matches. usually 5-7 guys. the matches are ridiculous. today i had 5 guys from georgia. georgia? next they'll be matching me with peeps in oregon! two of today's matches also happened to be 40, meaning they are closer to my mom's age than my age. unfortunately, that's not one of the reasons you can select for closing a match... "lauren has decided to close communication with you because she thinks you ought to date her mother." and really, i wouldn't let them date my mom. i'm just making a point.

initial thoughts

2008-09-06T18:16:00.003-05:00

i'm going through matches about as fast as i go through a bag of m&m's. i try to shoot 'em down before they even get a chance to look at my profile. that's because eHarmony, in it's infinite match-making wisdom, keeps setting me up with crazy fundamentalist types. i mean, were i to date a guy, i'd like him to be a Christian. definitely. but where are the normal Christians?

okay there is one that contacted me. he actually skipped past all the cheesy questions in "guided communication" and requested "fast track" so we could go straight to emailing. i was a little wary to accept his fast track request, but then decided it's all part of the experiment, so i gave it a shot. he'd actually sent me a nice email, saying that he, as a minister/professor, understood what i meant in my profile when i talked about wishing people didn't get weirded out when i tell them i'm a youth minister... that they start rewinding the conversation we've just had in their heads, trying to remember if they've said anything incriminating. the subject heading of his email was "beer and jesus." he said that when he encounters that situation, he invites the person to talk more over a cold beer, and then they usually chill out a bit.

that's todays update. also, i will say, this is slightly time consuming.

taking the plunge

2008-09-04T22:05:00.003-05:00

it's official. i'm experimenting with online dating.

see, it started with little nudges from my friends, little jokes or threats here and there. nothing persuasive, though, since i'm honestly content as is. then i was talking to a friend last weekend about her online dating experiences, and we agreed that even if you don't end up dating someone, it's a good way to learn more about yourself and others. that got me thinking.

i filled out the personality profile. mostly so i could just see how they described me. it all seemed accurate, except when they said i could be described as "avant-garde," going against the norm, pushing the boundaries of what makes most people comfortable. what? but i'm so traditional! oh, yeah... i guess i did travel to pakistan (and hope to go back soon)... and i did live in africa... and i did quit my steady job to be a missionary. maybe that's "pushing it" a bit. fine. just because i think that's normal doesn't mean everyone else does. who gets to define normal anyway?

after finishing my profile, i was sent a few matches. whatever. but then two of them tried to contact me! they asked a few pre-fab questions, i tried to respond, but wham! i was shut down. apparently you have to pay to respond. hmm... is it worth it?

well, i took a vote over dinner with friends. really, i didn't have to take a vote because everyone was on board. i will indeed try this online dating nonsense, and i will keep you posted on the drama that ensues. don't get your hopes up. right now i'm just answering questions. i wouldn't consider dating a single guy i've been "matched" with so far.

two side notes: 1) apparently this online dating thing is quite common. two of my dinner buddies tonight had personal experience to add to the mix. 2) from what i can tell so far, guys like to post pictures of themselves with nieces and nephews. is that supposed to be endearing? boy, this is going to be a long 3 months.

keep back!

2008-09-01T16:42:00.005-05:00

yesterday i went wall climbing, which happens to be a ways out of town, so that provided some driving practice with friends. i did alright, except when i stalled out 3 times at the same traffic light... watching it go from green... to yellow... and red again. when i finally did go, i peeled out a bit. later in the same day i had a solid 3 second peel-out. you could smell it. i was beginning to think i'd made a huge mistake purchasing a 5-speed vehicle.but today was a new day, and i had to get out on the road. i mean, i HAD to. apparently i left my last name off one of the gazillion forms i signed at carmax, so i had to make the long journey back out there... on the crazy expressway... all... by... my... self. i took a deep breath, grabbed my roll of blue masking tape, and put a big sign across the back of my car that reads "KEEP BACK... i'm learning." i ventured over to the church parking lot for a bit of a warm-up, feeling my way in and out of that tricky first gear, and off i went.

and i made it! without a single stall-out or peel-out! no one got on my back. i watched in my rear-view mirror as one lady died laughing after squinting to see the fine print on my home-made sign. ah, what a day.
then, on the way back to my house, i put the hatchback feature to good use with a trip to home depot. i needed a big piece of wood (2 ft deep, 4 ft long) to finish making my desk before school starts this week. can i please tell you how easy it is to fold down the seats in my groovy mazda3? oooooh so easy. i slid my desk top in, pulled the door shut, and thought, 'that, missy, is why you have a hatchback.' it made my day.

the car

2008-08-28T21:34:00.003-05:00

i bought a car today. a mazda3 hatchback with a sunroof. i like it. sure it's a 5-speed... and sure i didn't know how to drive a 5-speed (until an hour or two ago)... mere minor details.

the purchase:

i bought the car at carmax, which i have to say, was a pleasant experience. the guy that worked with me was definitely a car salesman, a tad annoying at times, but he was not one bit slimey. he wasn't clever enough to be slimey, and i mean that in a good way. very what-you-see-is-what-you-get. he'd say things that were very not-smooth, which helped his credibility. it sounds like i'm trashing the guy, but seriously, i liked him. also, carmax is bending over backwards to work with my out-of-state credit union. the credit union lady told me over the phone, "girl, are you lucky. i've never known carmax to treat someone this good." maybe it helped that i brought john (a priest) to test drive the car for me (while wearing his priestly collar). so john test drove it, i bought it, and then my friend aimee drove it home. woohoo!

the lesson:

i had a crash course in driving standard. lat ran to my house, we drove back to his house, did a couple laps around his neighborhood (i stalled maybe 10 times on my first left-hand turn), picked up friends for dinner, drove back to lat's... and then i was on my own. it's only a 3-4 mile drive, but it's not direct. anyway, i made it home without stalling once, thanking God for the lack of traffic. 1st gear is really tricky, but the rest isn't too bad.

so now i have a car, but i'll be riding my bike to my morning appointment... maybe driving standard will keep me from driving too much. the bike life has been good.

rains: then and now

2008-08-25T19:33:00.002-05:00

i knew when i walked out the door to work this morning that it was going to rain. i was surprised the skies held back as long as they did, finally unleashing their wet fury as i started the walk back home from the office. i didn't mind. i had a ridiculous grin on my face as i walked, glad my umbrella would hide my elation from not-so-considerate drivers, sloshing me in their wake.

i think the rain here is funny. i know it will soon be the start of the shorter rainy season in benin, where the rain seems to shoot up from the ground rather than down (or sideways) from the sky. here, the sidewalks and streets create rivers in a matter of moments. in benin, "potholes" the entire width of the dirt (really, sand) road form green filmed pools of various wastes. i don't mind walking in the rain run-off here. sure, it's full of harsh chemicals, but i've yet to see a man pee on the wall of my home in my nearly 3 months here, so i've got that going for me.

since i was reminiscing a bit, i thought i'd look up my journal from this day a year ago in benin. here's an excerpt on food.

I’m getting better about eating meat off bones and using my hands. Farhan would be proud. I don’t know if I was eating pork or goat tonight… it was tough enough to be goat. It was good though. Meals basically consist of some form of meat (whole fish, pork, chicken, goat, or “bush meat”) and a cheap simple starch. The starch could be couscous or rice, or more likely pounded yam or maize, which looks gross and gelatinous when first served, but then settles and changes to a consistency similar to powdered mashed potatoes. It’s actually pretty tasty. I had fish for lunch, and I tried tasting one of the egg sacs in the fish. It actually tasted kinda like pate, but I couldn’t eat the whole thing just because of what it was. The only thing not eaten here are bones. When you eat fish, that means the brains, eye balls, and everything. I always give Josue the head to eat. Bleh. They serve a whole lot of starch at every meal so you fill up fast and then get hungry later. I don’t always clean my plate, at which point I think of the expression, “There are starving children in Africa.” I know! But a girl can only eat so much rice! Sometimes we have beans, which are called “azingoqui” in Fon. At the camp, the beans came with a side of bugs. I didn’t mind when I found one bug in my food. It had been boiled. No biggie. I showed it to Augustin and he asked, “what is his name?” and I laughed it off. But after finding 4 more (in the same plate of beans, mind you) I decided I’d had enough azingoqui and friends for the day. Every meal, I pray in my head, “God, may this food make me strong and not sick, please. Amen.” So far, so good.

sometimes i miss life in the developing world. maybe you know what i mean.

new wheels

2008-08-19T22:05:00.002-05:00

no, not a car.

i gotta say, for having lived here only 2.5 months, i have some pretty awesome friends. one of which called the owner of "my" local bike shop today (who happens to train some of my triathlon friends) and filled him in on my situation. when i arrived with my poor bike (which is maybe 15 years old), mr. bike man hooked me up with a free (used) wheel and free (used) tires too. i told him i'd been considering moving over to a lighter tread tire, being that i was on sidewalks more than mountain trails, hoping to make my rides through town a bit faster and easier. my bike looks hilarious now, like a drag-racer, says mr. bike man. skinny tire on front, thicker tire on back, but it's a good combination for my needs. when all was said and done, he waved me out of the store with a smile, telling me to come back when i'm ready to buy a road bike... and start training... hmmm... train?

i'm suffering a bit of delayed shoulder pain today, i guess from bracing myself at impact, which i'm hoping is extremely temporary.

other than that, i'm back on the road tomorrow. score.

lauren splats... almost

2008-08-18T20:07:00.002-05:00

so much for not blogging...

i got hit by a car tonight on my way to the gym. i was riding my bike on the sidewalk (i'm told this is not illegal and much safer than riding on the road), going against traffic (again, i'm told this is safer), when i came to an intersection. i slowed down, noted the stopped car, checked the green light and the pedestrian crossing, and continued forward into the intersection. i saw the stopped car start into a right turn, realized what was about to happen, swerved, and CRASH. they clipped my back tire, knocking me over, but i caught myself and the bike. i have a few minor cuts and bruises, but nothing major. sadly, my bike will need a little TLC before i'll be able to ride again (slight problem when it's your primary means of transportation), but still nothing major. the lexus that hit me will have to get a new bumper, though... yikes. i didn't get the driver's contact information since 10% of me was scared i didn't have the right of way. i can't afford a lexus bumper. the couple that hit me was more concerned about my ability to walk than anything. i think the little lady in the passenger seat was more shaken up than i was.

anywho... my dad thinks i should get a car.

onion love

2008-08-17T11:07:00.003-05:00

one of my favorite people in the world, who happens to be horrible at updating her blog or sending emails, yet wonderful at "superpoking" and keeping up with my blog, is engaged. i found out via text message last night... oh, how times have changed.

i'm going to call susanne as soon as i finish typing this post to check the facts, but i believe she and ryan met online... and not just any old internet dating service... but the classifieds on the onion. the onion, if you don't already know it, is one of america's oldest ironic news sources. it is the mother of all pop-culture political satire that has peppered our media this past decade. and thank goodness... one needs a sense of humor to survive.

i have friends that have met online and married before... but this is the first onion love i know of. makes me wonder if my friends' threat to give me an online dating membership for my birthday wasn't such a bad idea after all.

naaah.

time out

2008-08-15T15:33:00.002-05:00

my readership has cut in half since i returned to the US... as have my posts... but i'm thinking i'll take the month of august off blogging.

that being said, here's one quick story that furst thought i ought to share.

i went to a wlu party last sunday (alumni function) and met lots of great peeps headed to lex to join the best student body in the world. i was often asked by other adults if this would be my freshman year as well, which made me feel better about my 28th bday last week.

anyway, i barely met this one guy, but he was kind enough to give me his calling card when we parted ways. no, i don't mean business card. i mean he handed me a card with his name and number, likely on crane's cotton paper... very nice. i looked at him and said, "seriously?" my friend lat said the same to me in the car when i said, "i'm intrigued. i think i'll have to call this calling card guy." "seriously?"

so i did. i called him wednesday and asked him questions like, "would you say you're an eccentric person?" still, i was intrigued, so i accepted his invitation to a theme party this weekend... maybe...

i'm curious if this calling card concept yields greater returns than business cards. i did google the guy before calling (i'm not stupid) and he's an investment banker with a major bank. they're a dime a dozen here. so maybe the calling card is where it's at?

au naturale

2008-08-07T15:31:00.002-05:00

i've been experimenting the past few weeks with deodorant. see, antiperspirants are bad for you. really bad. anything with aluminum is bad. this is an especially sensitive topic for peeps with close ties to alzheimer's, which definitely applies to my family. i've disposed of all aluminum pots and pans in my possession, and the next move is from antiperspirants to deodorant. i mean, honestly, i tend perspire with an antiperspirant anyway. i'm okay with that. i'm over it.

i'm currently trying out dr. hauschka's floral deodorant. it smells like roses. but i'm not sure i do. so a lot of effort goes into discreetly smelling myself (not that discreet if i'm blogging about it, of course). if you're near me in the coming weeks, feel free to comment on my aura, if you catch my drift. i'd appreciate the feedback.

dog flips

2008-08-05T19:19:00.002-05:00

i finally joined the ymca yesterday. it's a good 2.5 mile uphill battle on the bike to get there (and back... now i understand the "uphill both ways" concept), meaning i'm exhausted by the time i bike there, work out and bike back. but i'm hoping this will turn into a healthy routine.

i kinda shocked myself at the yoga class yesterday. this is only the 3rd class i've attended in over a year (though i toyed with yoga on my own in benin). this next phrase will make no sense to non-yogis... but we were in down-dog with one leg up and over when the instructor said, "now flip your dog if you want." boom! i flipped my dog! without even thinking about it! that move used to scare me, and here i just stumbled into it quite gracefully. always nice when your body surprises you. i wonder if anyone saw the look of shock on my face.

posts like this will probably lead to an increased drop in readership, but it was seriously one of the highlights of my week.

happy bday benin

2008-08-04T09:21:00.002-05:00

benin just celebrated 48 years of independence, as this article states, in nonsensical english. the writer's last name is assogba... wonder if he's related to my friend mathieu? the famous singer and genius behind this video?

garden of the gods

2008-08-01T11:59:00.004-05:00

being the international woman of mystery that i am, i run into friends just about everywhere i go. while staying outside of monument, colorado this week (near colorado springs) i had visitors just about every day. kim came up monday, sharing with me the VERY exciting news that she and scott are pregnant! then art and lois came up on tuesday, taking me to the exact same restaurant as the previous evening (but i didn't tell them that because i loooove mexican food). then leslie came up wednesday (she only just moved to colorado two weeks ago) and we ventured off to garden of the gods.

you may remember leslie visited me in benin back in march. it was great to talk to someone that had actually witnessed the craziness of my life abroad. we had a lot of good laughs. we also took a lot of ridiculous pictures, fitting in to tight crevices, acting like idiots, the usual. it's great to have friends all over.

totally sucks awesome hated it beautiful

2008-07-28T18:06:00.002-05:00

yes, this week i'm exploring a series of paradoxes with a bunch of other missionaries just returned from the field. a little thing called "debriefing and renewal" in the mountains of colorado. some people have come "home" for good, others are just here for a year before returning to assignments abroad. all are totally grateful for their experiences and are struggling now with varying degrees of home-sickness (for "adopted" countries) and identity crisis. yet all have been burned, bruised, and battered; the side of being a missionary that is rarely shared outside the safest of circles. this place is definitely a safe one, and i'm glad i made it out here, albeit (slightly) grudgingly.

perfect score

2008-07-24T10:25:00.003-05:00

north carolinians everywhere might as well roll out the welcome mat to their newest resident; yours truly just got her license.

this is a big deal for 2 reasons... a) it's symbolic of the fact that i'm putting down roots here (though i confess my heart is still mostly in maryland), and b) in order to get a NC license, you must first pass a driver's test. the test is full of obscure questions like, "what percentage of driving accidents are due to drunk driving?" is it really necessary that i know the exact percentage to be a good driver? isn't it enough to know not to drink and drive?

lucky for me, someone in my office mentioned that one could find a "study guide" (i refuse to call it a cheat sheet) online. thus, this little lady got a perfect score... booyah!

(really, what ever happened to people saying booyah?!?)

when i got back to my job, at the church, i was amazed to find kids moon-bouncing inside. yep, you can fit two moon-bouncers in our "multi purpose" space (which happens to be used for our contemporary services). who knew? and when can i bounce?

google hearts walkers

2008-07-23T14:52:00.003-05:00

i use google maps a lot... mostly because i'm new to town. i love how when getting directions, you can use your mouse to drag your route onto smaller (less trafficky) roads. great for bikers. but NOW there's an additional option! when getting directions, you can click "by car" or "walking." not only does it automatically move your route to roads less traveled, but it also estimates your walking time! i think this change denotes some serious behavior changes in the US. i'm so proud.

car shopping

2008-07-22T21:34:00.002-05:00

really, i ought to say virtual car shopping... as i've yet to test drive a single vehicle... but in my imagination, i've narrowed down my options to the perfect car. the 2007 nissan versa hatchback sl... with a sunroof. i've only found ONE with a sunroof so far, and it's in dulles, which makes me think i should fly up to dc and visit lots of friends on the drive back south. sounds like a week of fun, right? and i'd need that week to learn how to drive stick, as the ONE versa sl with sunroof happens to be a manual. no worries. i actually think i'd be a great manual driver, given 2 or 3 days of roadtripping and couch surfing. sadly, i don't have time for such ventures... not for another 2 weeks, at least... and by then my currently "perfect" car will likely be sold... eventually replaced by another potentially "perfect" set of wheels. i mean, i'll be driving this car for the next 10 years, so it's got to be just right. for now, though, the bus and bike are still fun. liberating, even. still, the possibility of purchasing a car in the near future looms large.

recovery

2008-07-21T13:44:00.002-05:00

it appears that for every day of hanging out/working/living with middle schoolers (that would be last sunday through wednesday), i need an equal portion of sloth and sleep (thursday through sunday). but finally, i have emerged from hibernation.

i did peek my head out the door a couple of times during the 4-day respite. i went to the cardiologist for an echocardiagram. those are fun! it's like an ultra-sound, except that i watched my heart beating on a screen instead of a fetus. small difference.

i later biked to the ymca (2.5 hilly miles), tried one of their yoga classes (i was impressed) and then biked back home. it pretty much felt like 3 workouts in 1, but i'm sure that will improve as i get back to an exercise routine.

finally, i went out with some friends and met some new peeps on saturday. always fun to meet new people. then two of us split off to take on the salsa scene. i'm pretty sure that in flip-flops, i could out-dance any girl there. they could all kick my butt in heels, though. which is unfortunate, as no real salsa dancer wears flip-flops. (sigh).

burping

2008-07-16T19:39:00.002-05:00

after spending this week with over 40 middle school kids, sleeping on the floor of a downtown church, fixing peeps houses (which is significantly difficult with 8th graders) in the sun... i'm too tired to write anything eloquent...
not that i ever do...
but i will say that i learned a new burping game this week. apparently, every time someone burps, it's cool to scream out random colors, "red! black! orange! canary yellow!" with no repeats... the last one to think of a color (and scream it) loses. the loser has to grunt. grunting is embarrassing. the end.

kids and tattoos

2008-07-10T09:13:00.003-05:00

i went to the movies last night with a group of middle schoolers. we saw "prince caspian" of the narnia series. it was good, though we had the entire theater to ourselves, which made for lots of noise and finger puppets.

anyway, before the film, we stopped in at mcdonalds for some nourishment. it happened to be connected to a convenience store which happened to have a tattoo machine--the kind where you insert 2 quarters and get a fake tattoo in return. seeing this as an opportune bonding moment, i invited the kids to pick out a tattoo for me to paste on my arm. after much deliberation, they decided i should get one of the "magic" type tattoos, hoping for a dragon. the less desirable options included silly flowers and hearts, sports and racing, or random "lovey" airbrushed types. i put my quarters in under the pictures of dragons and swords... but out popped a tattoo of two people embracing romantically, with the words "lets get it on" inscribed in cursive below. oops.

salsa hurts

2008-07-07T16:40:00.004-05:00

i went salsa dancing last week... twice.

wednesday i went with a guy named ricardo. "lauren laughs" regulars will understand the humor in this small coincidence. anyway, ricardo took me to a place that starts with lessons before moving to just plain dancing. we did the first (beginner) lesson. easy... a tad boring. we asked one of the instructors if we could do the intermediate lesson too. she hesitated and said yes, but just to sit it out if we felt it was too advanced. psha. we rocked the intermediate class so well that the same instructor walked up to us later and asked us to audition for the advanced class that will be starting later this month: "just throw something together." okay. maybe...

i danced with the other instructor at one point, a man in pointy white shoes (mandatory for all male salsa teachers). sadly, i stubbed my toe on his shoes, breaking my toenail and spewing blood everywhere. that was fun. i really need to invest in salsa shoes.

but you can't let a broken toe nail keep you on the sidelines of life. no sir. thursday night i was back at it, only with a group of latinos. (ricardo is not latino... well, he's half... but it's a repressed half). anyway, my new latino friends all speak spanish. it was great to be in that environment again, and i understood everything, i just kept responding in french. shoot! till a moroccan guy joined us, then i had a french buddy. oh, the woes of a multi-lingual lover. still, i hope to hang with (and eventually hold a coherent conversation with) these new friends every once in a while, if only i could get used to the festivities starting at midnight.

progressive kitchen 1

2008-07-03T13:28:00.002-05:00

i don't so much have a "fully functional" kitchen yet. i'm reminded of this at odd moments... like when i bought a can of beats to eat on a salad, but then realized i had no can opener. nothing a pocket knife can't fix. or when i decided i'd make brownies this weekend, but had to do so without measuring cups. the result: brownie goo the entire staff made fun of.

so i'm on a mission this week/weekend to set up my kitchen. i've got dad's monster van parked in the driveway till sunday, so i might as well make use of it! so far, i've purchased a spice rack (including 20 spices), a liquid measuring cup and a strainer. odd mix, i know.

this would be so much easier if i were getting married. bridal registries are so discriminatory.

musica

2008-07-01T13:05:00.002-05:00

two awesome finds this week:

1. paste. the magazine. they send you a new cd every month with new releases! how cool is that? and it's only 20 bucks for a year subscription. awesome.

2. wrnr online! in case you didn't know, the very best radio station of all time happens to live in downtown annapolis. life without wrnr has been a sad void of sound, till carolyn told me to just plug-in online! it's so much easier to get out of bed in the morning knowing "planet alex" is just a click away.

good stuff.