welcome... home?

i'm leaving benin tomorrow. after living here 9 months, it's hard to say where home is. i was actually in the US for all of 38 hours a few weeks ago--yes, that means i spent more time in the air than i did on the ground... but it was for a job interview and it was totally worth it. when i got back to benin, my adopted family picked me up from the airport... which actually felt more familiar than when i landed in the US a few days before. i got to the house and my "little brothers" had made signs to welcome me home.

i am super psyched to move back State side, but i'm going to miss my family, friends and students here like crazy.

peace out benin!

graduation

so my students graduated from english class this weekend. we had a bit of a ceremony and i gave them all matching fabric so they can all have matching outfits. the quintessential gift of benin. here's vincent (his english name was vinnie) receiving his certificate and gift.

i'm very proud of each student. they worked so hard! it's been especially fun to watch those that were too scared to even try at first... now they laugh at their mistakes and give it their best. good times.

photo shoot

so while i refused to stay put yesterday in my recovery... i did at least try to pick outings with air conditioning... the cyber cafe, the embassy, and fondation zinsou. the cyber cafe is an obvious must for blogging... i had to swing by the embassy to add pages to my passport (no room for visas!)... and zinsou was just for fun.

here are ricardo, ashley, romeo, me (holding ricardo's niece catia) and rhett. zinsou has a photography exhibition i really enjoy. this was maybe my 4th visit. on certain afternoons, you can actually be part of the exhibit, which was the purpose of our group venture. props courtesy of zinsou. any guesses as to who the male models are?

gatorade saved my life

so yesterday i thought i was about to die. granted, i get a tad bit dramatic when i'm sick... but really, i felt like death. i lay in my bed with a cold rag on my face thinking of how i'd have to say all my goodbyes from behind my mosquito net... that instead of leaving africa next wednesday, i'd be leaving this earth this weekend. whoa is me.

though i usually live by myself, i'm staying with a friend my last days here. she decided to work from home for the afternoon after seeing my sad state. eventually, i worked up the energy to go to the malaria clinic to get my finger pricked. results were negative. i went to my doctor friend's house. she was concerned. i had a fever and really low blood pressure. she handed me gatorade and told me to call her in the morning.

well, i'm not 100% today, but i feel sooo much better. turns out "heat exhaustion" can really knock you out... and progresses to heat stroke and coma if you don't treat it with... gatorade. i'm under strict orders to stay indoors and lay low... which i'm not obeying... but i am wearing a baseball cap for the first time since i moved to benin. that should do the trick. i can't spend my last days here indoors!!!

not as young as i thought

my friend ashley just got back to benin from morocco, so a group of us (rhett, ricardo, romeo and i) all went to the pool to celebrate. we have less than 2 weeks to hang out together, so we're making the most of it. anyway, rhett has been teaching romeo to swim and he helped out ricardo yesterday as well. he also taught me to do a back dive. other than that, we pretty much hung out in the shallow end all day, playing like kids... because that's what you do when you can't swim well. seriously, we were like a bunch of 7 year olds. crawling all over each other, flipping and doing stunts. i think we pretty much annoyed every single patron there.

the result? today i am sore beyond belief. i did something to hurt my neck, and i'm guessing it had something to do with romeo and ricardo throwing me back and forth like a sack of flour. ow. at one point rhett and i tried to do that trick where you jump off the others' shoulders, only we found we're too old and heavy to do so.

def not as young as i used to be.

last class

last night was my last english class and probably my last trip to porto novo and back. it was quite the adventure. i arrived about 30 minutes late due to a major accident that stopped all traffic (and here, people actually turn off their cars... no use in wasting petrol, especially when there's no AC to keep on in the first place). then, as i walked to the entrance of the school, i noted a huge political rally. i'm pretty sure the US embassy (or anyone else official) would recommend avoiding rallies of any sort in any country. but me? i join them.

like in palermo, italy. i once joined in on a parade, singing and skipping with everyone else. only later did i discover they were demonstrating against the american "fascist pigs." oops.

or in la paz, bolivia. my bolivian professor's father was running for reelection as a senator, so a bunch of us piled in the back of a truck wearing political shirts, waving political flags. that was fun.

and yesterday, when i couldn't seen any other way to get past the crowd to my students, i started walking behind a car covered with political posters, smiling at all the shouting bystanders. good times. at last i walked in the classroom to find all my students quietly and diligently working on their exams. you can tell by their smiles they feel pretty good about their work. this i will miss.

bathroom humor

perhaps this is a bit off color for laurenlaughs... but i was in the paris airport yesterday (long story) and the bathrooms were just cracking me up. i walked into the ladies room in concourse E, near gate 90, and found that the doors to the stalls all made up a mural of white horses running wild. okay, whatever. interesting artwork, but nothing worth blogging over, right? oh, but then came the sound effects. yes, the speakers in the bathroom provided lovely "neigh!!!"ing and galloping noises for my listening pleasure. is this the frenchies' idea of a joke? or is it to cover up other, er, less pleasant bathroom sounds? or perhaps some kind of new art... both audio and visual at once?

another funny thing... i ran into 2 friends from the cotonou salsa club in the paris airport. granted, we were all flying back to cotonou, but really... what are the odds?

and finally, i was flying next to a benin mama who kept asking the flight attendants for more chocolate or bread or anything she could then stash in her plastic baggy to take home to her family. ask and ye shall receive! i was glad the flight attendants were cool with her. she had a heart melting old lady smile.

and now i'm back in benin... for 2 weeks and 1 day... it's not easy to say goodbye!

babies

in benin (and most of africa), babies are carried on the back. no fancy baby-carrying-doohickies here. just a simple pagne (piece of fabric) wrapped around you and the baby, much like you'd wrap a towel.

i've decided this is genius. i mean, women do all kinds of things with babies on their backs here. they hand wash clothes, carry stuff on their heads, ride on the backs of zems, clean the house, cook over charcoal fires along the street... the list goes on. nothing about a baby slows a woman down, it seems.

so i was picking up some things from my seamstress last week and asked if i could tie her 7 month old baby to my back for a picture. she got SO excited. she gave him a bath and put on his very best "lacy" outfit. here is the result:

and now i'm thinking... you know... if i don't get married in the next few years... i think i might adopt a baby. armed with a pagne, i'm pretty sure i'd make a good mom.

not-yo-mama's rosary beads

so, there are just a few things i need to buy from cotonou before moving back to the states, and funky fabric is one of them. last week, i was on a mission to find toothpaste fabric... today it was the virgin mary as well as chickens and eggs (not all on the same pattern, mind you!)

so my french tutor (angelica) went with me to dantokpa, west africa's largest open market. the place was crawling with guards, as someone had fired some shots there on tuesday... which is pretty unusual here. cotonou may have crime, but no one can afford guns.

anyway. we're out shopping for fabric when i point to a huge pile of long strands of multi colored beads. the untrained eye would take these for jewelry... but if you're been in africa long enough, you know "les perles" are worn low on the hips of just about every woman (and little girl) around. i asked angelica if she wore beads, and she said yes, that she actually needed to buy some new ones... so we stopped. she pointed out some and said, "these will catch the light at night, you should try them." i said, "who is going to see my beads at night but me? i think that's a bit overkill." so we picked out several strands for each of us, i bought them, and the shopping excursion continued. then i turned to angelica and said, "why do women wear beads on their hips?" she said, "to seduce men." EH? i just bought my french tutor seduction beads? i said, "but the little girls wear them too!" and she explained that the young girls wear beads in order to give them hips (we're talking infants and toddlers on up), but women wear them to "excite" their husbands.

oh brother.

there are some questions better left unasked.

so we're still shopping. i was searching high and low for fabric with the virgin mary (this is a very common pattern) and finally we decided to check out a boutique by one of the catholic churches. bingo. only, oddly enough, the virgin mary fabric was more expensive than the Jesus fabric. who knew? i bought the Jesus fabric. it's awesome. like Jesus.

when you put it all together, it makes for quite the eclectic shopping list.

local lovers

when i came here, i had no intentions of dating anyone from here… and that’s pretty much still true now. i mean, i am going home in about 4 weeks. plus, there are some major cultural differences that i can’t expect any man here to understand unless he’s been in the US, which is never the case. but i came pretty darn close to a bit of romance this last weekend. i figure, why not share…

ricardo is a friend from salsa. you may be wondering how a guy from benin got the name ricardo… well, because his father, who he has never met, is italian. this means ricardo is beautiful. half italian, quarter cameroonian, quarter beninois… tall, dark (though light by african standards) and handsome. he’s a male model. no, seriously, he is… as are most of the guys at salsa. it’s a very strange sub-culture at the salsa club. nothing like zoolander, though.

anyway, i guess ricardo and i have been admiring each other from a distance for a while… and only discovered this mutual admiration over the weekend. but, whoa, that doesn’t mean i want to date him, right? well, to be honest, i had to think about it. i mean, would it be soooo bad to have a fling the last few weeks i’m here? expats do that kind of thing all the time, isn’t it just part of the experience? but now… this is people we’re talking about. not play things. so, i geared myself up sunday for a little heart to heart with my favorite mulatto. somehow everything fell into place. we got away from the crowd, sat down for a little chat, shared a bit about our lives and families… and at the end of the conversation, ricardo turned to me and said (in french), “lauren, i don’t usually find white women to be attractive. i don’t even like mulatto women. but the first time i saw you, i liked you. i didn’t know you, so i distanced myself from you and watched how you interacted with others. i liked what i saw and i want to know you better. but after learning more about you and your work as a missionary, i want you to know that i respect you and will let us rest as friends. i will not try to be anything more with you.” my mouth just about hit the floor. here i’d been so afraid of how to have the, “i like you, but…” talk in french… and i didn’t have to say a word! ricardo understood it all.

so while i’ll admit i’m slightly sad that i gave up the opportunity for a little local romance, i’m also relieved to be spared the drama of a fling, knowing full well that there are better things (hopefully a man) awaiting me. thank you God.

cross dressing, what?

so, peeps at salsa have been talking for a few weeks about having an “exhibition.” i had some idea of what that would look like, but maaan, was i wrong. we arrived to watch a movie. what? i paid money to dance, not watch a movie! but it was actually a great film about a french musician who left the conservatory to follow his passion (salsa, of course) and found love. after that we were all in the mood for some dancing… will this bring me romance? oooh, that’s a different post.

after a few dances, we took our seats and prepared to watch what i had been anticipating. 3 guys and 3 women had been practicing a group dance. cool, right? the surprise, though, was when the men walked out wearing drag. what? the thing is, though, homosexuality is nonexistent here. at least it’s illegal. so men wearing drag isn’t anything but… funny. it’s not a bit suggestive.

so here are some pics of my guy friends wearing drag. never thought i’d say that on laurenlaughs! and of me dancing with romeo… simply because i’m a little shocked about how long my hair is.

click here for more salsa pics.

i heart mail

i’ve received a few boxes and care packages in my time here… plus numerous letters. but the best package ever came last friday (ok… it actually arrived almost a month earlier, but that’s benin mail for you)!! yes, when it comes to snail mail gifts, jeff takes the cake. here are the brilliant contents:

8 issues of the economist and 3 time magazines
1 newspaper clipping concerning maryland politics
1 book: cheadle & prendergast’s not on our watch
2 letters (one was a christmas card)
4 cd’s! one each for thanksgiving, christmas, new years and valentines

the key to this gift being so awesome is that jeff actually made mix cd’s using music from what he knows to be my favorite radio station ever… 103.1 out of annapolis. dude, that is what i call thoughtful! score one for jeff.

other great packages have come from paige, christin, eric, aunt carole, ann, caroline, ron & ruth, mom & dad. i’ve received m&m’s, celebrity gossip magazines, books, dvd’s, christmas decorations and beautiful photos. thanks peeps!

and while i’m saying thank you’s… here’s the list of peeps that have sent letters: anna & jase, velasquez fam (complete with kids’ artwork!), leslie, maria, deseree, sally, alvin, and carolyn (and molly). i can’t remember who i’m forgetting… y’all are fabulous.

i love mail.

meat+museum=bloody mess

last week while leslie was visiting, i wanted her to see the wonders of the meat market... it's definitely not like the deli section in your neighborhood grocery store! so we went to the marché, where i stood in front of a freshly dead cow and asked some young guy to hack off half a kilo to be ground for me. he stuffed the raw meat into a black plastic baggy and handed it to me with a smile. so friendly. leslie and i then walked in a circle to see the rest of the dead animals just waiting to be eaten. i wouldn't recommend this tour for the weak stomached... or vegetarians.

after our marché adventure, we had about half an hour to kill before lunch, so we stopped into a free art museum i'd heard good things about. we enjoyed looking at the lovely photography exhibit, laughing at some pictures, talking to our guide... and then leslie got my attention--"lauren, you're dripping blood..." ah! sure enough, my raw meat purchase was dripping all over the sparkling white tiled floor. oops. i turned to the guide and started apologizing and explaining in french, "ah, we just came from the market and the meat i'm carrying has made a mess of your floors!" he smiled and said it was no problem at all, as if this kind of thing happens all the time. in a few moments he returned with a rag to mop up the mess.

and again, i find myself asking... since when did this kind of thing become normal?

monkey business

there is a monkey loose in the neighborhood. not my neighborhood, but the neighborhood where i am currently residing while i dogsit my friend shiloh (who made his debut on youtube back in october). in any case… this monkey has been terrorizing the neighborhood for weeks now. it used to be pretty skittish, running off the moment i’d come to rescue the furiously barking weenie dog. but now it seems to be comfortable with the routine. the monkey is testing his limits.

for instance yesterday, the monkey sat on the porch and looked as if he was actually contemplating opening the door to come into the house.

and then this morning, when i tried to bring shiloh into the house, the monkey actually bared his teeth at me. i did what any dog-protecting missionary would do… and hit him with a rock. i’m pretty sure he’ll start throwing rocks back soon. he’s bold, and a quick learner. shucks.

somebody call PETA, because this is about to be war.

party chez moi

my good friend leslie flies in to cotonou tonight for a long-week visit. partaaaay! here's a picture of leslie and me chillin' out with st. francis this summer while we were in training. she's a missionary in geneva. won't be posting much this week as i will be too busy having fun with my girlfriend.

bird's eye view

first off, i'm malaria free, in case you're wondering...

and now for a story:

there's funny lady from middle-of-nowhere illinois visiting some missionary friends of mine this week, and they asked if she could accompany me to english class. sure! the students are always eager to greet visitors and i'll admit i love showing off "my kids" (in case you haven't noticed). so last wednesday, cynthia came with me to porto novo, braving the bush van and all. she was a very good sport... the kind of visitor you actually want to have (which is far from everyone).

here are a few of the funnier moments that help point out cultural differences i've become used to and too often glaze over.

1. in the bush van, cynthia remarked that the metal bar going across the window along the inside of the van was hurting her shoulder... to which i replied, "it's holding the van together." she immediately appreciated the same bar she detested a moment before. and that's how it is here. cars come here to die. for real. and so you thank God for the extra bars holding them together, even as they dig into your shoulder.

2. my kids were struggling with the word "astray" (as in, to go astray), and cynthia piped in, "like when your dog runs away!" i turned to her and said, "they don't have pet dogs." and while maybe a very few people do, for the most part all dogs are strays, many are beaten for fun, and some make a hearty dinner. so we instead settled on the example of your little brother running "astray" when you go to market.

3. next i was trying to discuss the difference between "hard" and "soft" and what it means to "harden your heart" (we were reading hebrews chapter 3). cynthia chimed in again, saying, "the Bible tells us that Jesus knocks on our hearts like you would knock at the door," and she knocked on her desk to illustrate her point. mmmm... no. see, lots of my kids don't have doors... and if they do, they're always open to allow air into the room. a pagne (fabric) is draped down where a door would be to create some sense of privacy. so again, i turned to the students to explain cynthia's point in their terms, "like when you say 'ka-ka-ka!' or clap your hands before entering a room." ahhh, yes. that makes sense now.

when did these things become second nature to me?

and what will happen when i go back to the US and say "ka-ka-ka" before entering a room?

suddenly i'll be crazy one and cynthia will be the norm.

malari...uh?

sittin in my chair
sittin in my chair
waiting on malaria results
sittin in my chair

that's the song i'm singing in my head right now... which is slightly crazy... which proves that i am not quite myself and thus a candidate for malaria, though i doubt that to be the case.

it started as an innocent sinus infection, and i doubt it will amount to more. but i have random weak spells and hot flashes, which could point to that most favorite of tropical diseases (it's right up there with amoebic dysentery) malaria!

getting a malaria test is easy as pie and only costs $7, so it's a good thing to do every now and then. i took a zemi ride to the clinic and sat waiting 5 minutes for a young girl to get tested before me. the lab guy pricked her finger and squeezed blood onto two glass slides (this is called a blood smear). the girl was about to cry, so i told her she had very pretty blood. i realize now as i type the words that i must have sounded ridiculous, but she smiled, so i'm guessing that's okay. she left and it was my turn... ooooh needles. i will voluntarily and gladly subject myself to an acupuncture treatment any day of the week... but needles in a clinical setting? shots and the like? makes me whoozy. not wanting to be shown up by the little girl though, i took a deep breath and got pricked. whew. two blood smears and a cotton ball later, i was paying my bill and out the door.

now i have to wait 3 hours for the results. i could call, but i struggle with french on the phone... so i'm just chillin around the corner from the clinic at my friend rhett's office... doing a whole lot of nothing. hence this useless post.

chances are i won't be back online to post the results (which will more than likely be negative) till tomorrow. till then... you're welcome to sing the malaria song in your head too.

lau vs. larvae

that's right. a couple days ago i noticed a few little brown specks on top of my trash can lid, but i didn't think much of it. then today, as i was actually taking the trash bag out of the trash (which is always disgusting in the hot humidity) i noticed many more brown specks on the underside of the trash can lid. then i noticed one was moving. oooooh yeah. larvae, baby. (i realize that phrase is redundant). what kind of larvae, you may wonder? well i'm no expert, but i'm guessing roaches.

was i a little grossed out by this realization? maybe a tad bit. but mostly i was overjoyed for discovering the little suckers before they hatched! i went outside and scraped off every single one and then let the lid roast in the sun... just to be sure.

lau: 1
larvae: 0

the battle continues!

leave me alone!

okay, i'm going on day 4 of being sick. but things are looking up. i don't think it's malaria, and that's always good.

it started about 2am friday morning when i noted a "cool" breeze coming through my window--cool being below 80F. well that was enough to set a sinus infection in motion. my throat was sore all friday, but i was too busy to pay attention. saturday i couldn't talk. i canceled class, popped a pill, pumped some nasal spray (yummy), and read an entire book in one sitting. sunday i did the same, but sans reading. i slept ALL day. and yet was exhausted enough to sleep through the night! today i continued sleeping till noon, when i finally left my cocoon of blue mosquito netting and got ready for a meeting with my "chief."

what's wrong with this picture? sounds like a normal bout of sickness to me... what gives?

oh, nothing, except that everyone and their grandma (or goat) was calling me every 5 minutes to ask how i'm doing! even my plumber called! and some random girl named maxi who works at the ice cream shop! seriously, i turned my phone off. at which point people starting coming to my house! like i want to get out of bed, put on something presentable, offer you drinks and talk for hours on end while my nose drips snot? mmmm.... no.

chalk it up to cultural differences.

word to the wise... when sick in benin... tell NO ONE!

the moment you've all been waiting for

remember that little blip about my new career as a professional dancer? well here at long last is the result of many hot hours of practicing what might as well be "the chicken dance" with some extra gyrations thrown in.

the video is about 7 minutes long, and it's really worth seeing the whole thing. yours truly is "featured" of course, as are ashley and charita (fulbrights). rob is definitely the star yovo, with his tam-tam-tamming and fon-lip-syncing.

and yes, it's already showing on television here in benin.

this might very well be the most ridiculous thing i have ever done in my entire life. and that's really saying something.