sooo not what i expected

i felt kinda down friday night, which was ridiculous considering the very full day i'd spent catching up with friends. breakfast with lorraine, coffee with carolyn, lunch with laurel, dress shopping with christina and kim, going to the movies... not what you'd call a slow day. but still, i was feeling blue, and i was surprised when i figured out why.

i miss being the center of attention.

if you know me well, you're probably like, "what? that's sounds totally lauren-esque! what's the surprise?" for sure, i've always loved the spotlight. but i did get sick of the kind of attention one receives for being the only white person around. i was tired of being a spectacle in my own neighborhood in benin. and i used to think that the US was pretty well integrated in terms of racial diversity... but now i just look around and see white people everywhere! and i seem to blend in with them all. bummer.

so i know it's unreasonable, but i'm just being honest... i miss being the "ethnic" one in the room. now i'm just melba.