not the juan for me

deep down inside, i know i probably shouldn't write this post... that it will bite me in the butt someday. but i'm going to anyway because i think it's a good story. my fear is that it'll come across as if i'm making fun of someone... of juan... but this is really a story of how i am a complete idiot.

see, i have this kinda outgoing personality. and sometimes that can be misconstrued as being flirtatious when i meet men. i suppose that was the case with juan, because he started calling me last week (after getting my number from a friend), making good conversation, and eventually asking when we could hang out.

now he never actually asked me on a date.

so i wasn't sure about his intentions.

hence my entirely ridiculous response.

juan: you got plans thursday?
me: yep. going to a benefit.
juan: drinks afterward?
me: nope, may be out late.
juan: how about this weekend?
me: i've got a lock-in with my kids... really busy.
juan: sometime else?
me: i'm pretty much booked till mid-december.
juan: how about mornings?
me: mornings work. i can do that.

**awkward pause while i'm figuring out how to dodge a bullet i'm not sure exists**

me: um, juan, i gotta tell you... i don't want to sound presumptuous, but i just have to let you know i'm not interested in dating you right now.

**shoot!! right now?? that doesn't sound right?!?!**

me: errrr... or... ever.

**ahhh! what am i doing?!? or ever?!? how mean is that?!?!**

me: i mean, i know i sometimes send mixed messages unintentionally, so if that's the message i've been sending, i just want to correct it.
juan: ok. are you seeing someone?
me: no.

**i'm the worst person ever!**

juan: ok. so you want to grab coffee friday?
me: sure!

**how can he be nice when i'm so mean?!?! why wasn't i born knowing how to do this??**

and then we had a lovely coffee this morning. no real surprise there. he's a great guy. smart, funny, conversational, nice, handsome. i'd set him up with one of my friends in a heartbeat. hey, there's an idea...