b'more & buffalo

okay here it is... the weekend roadtrip synopsis.

it started in baltimore, where i landed just in time for a lovely dinner with christina and andy (soon to be married) at pazo. sadly, christina's car broke down, so i had to leave them to wait for the tow truck while my friend john picked me up and took me to the ole' neighborhood standby, ropewalk.

From 2008 Fall

if you don't know it already, ropewalk is a "republican bar" which really just means that the owners are republicanists and they aren't afraid to show it. doesn't really describe the clientele, though. anywhoo... a picture with the gipper is a must. lots of great friends came out to catch up (laurel and david came up from dc!) and that was awesome.

mike and i hit the road early saturday, bound for buffalo. we arrived just as mollie's plane from denver landed, so we picked her up and drove to canada (yes, we all had our passports) in time to see niagra at sunset.

From 2008 Fall

we did get lost on the way. we accidentally drove north of niagra, but didn't realize it until we were crossing the (wrong) bridge into canada. there was no way to turn around, so we just waited in line. the security was so chill (and cute!! mollie and i wanted to steal the guard and take him with us!!). he laughed once he figured out we were lost (such a cute laugh it was, too) and pointed us in the right direction. the drive was beautiful! all the changing leaves and rolling hills, ahhh. finally we made it to niagra falls.

From 2008 Fall

one thing about canadians... they love their snails. snails have the right of way!

we drove back to buffalo for a little party at the "love shack" (the bride's maiden name is love... it's cute) where we caught up with lots of friends that i hadn't seen in months. awesome.

sunday we stopped by the anchor bar, birthplace of buffalo wings, for some yummy finger lickin' food.

From 2008 Fall

this came at the recommendation of susan and others, and i have to say, it is a must when in buffalo. my mouth is watering now just thinking about it!

finally, the big occasion was upon us... the start of adam and bethany's marriage. i have to say, this was one of the neatest weddings i've ever witnessed, even before it started. their invitations were thoughtful, true, and humble. no response cards were used, saving lots of paper and expense. over and over again, throughout the engagement, wedding and reception, adam and bethany continually pointed to Christ in their relationship.

From 2008 Fall

it was (and is) beautiful.

then dancing ensued...

From 2008 Fall

and the shenanigans began.

eric, the best man, did an awesome toast. our table was literally reeling with laughter, though some of it might have gone over the general public's collective heads.

From 2008 Fall

i have since learned that you can look at best man speeches on youtube... this is apparently how the modern best man gets all his toast material. very unoriginal, and yet hugely successful! i imagine eric was the only one to quote both emily post and amy vanderbilt, though, paragon of etiquette that he is.

monday we made our way back to baltimore, so excited to stop at sheetz, the best gas station in the world, along the way.

From 2008 Fall

where else can you order a side of mac & chili? yum. erin and i had lots of girlie talk and catch up time in the car, which was awesome.

we came home to keegan!

From 2008 Fall

the best little nephew in the world.

christina joined us all for dinner and then she and i went back to her place for hours of uber productive wedding planning (she's the bride, i'm the maid of honor) and just good ole' sister time.

it was, by far, the best weekend ever. and there you have it.

PENIS!

one of the privileges i have as a youth minister is to talk to kids about sex and sexuality and how it pertains to their faith. i spent a lot of time this summer developing a sex curriculum with lots of help from various books, experts and friends (the friend conversations were definitely the funniest).

so we had a sex talk with 11th and 12th graders a few weeks ago, and the whole first half of it was pretty painfully awkward. finally one kid said, "it's not that this isn't relevant to us. it's definitely relevant. we just don't want to talk about it."

last night we talked with 10th graders and decided to squish all the awkwardness into the first 5 minutes. john started by saying, "we're going to play a game you all know and love... a game you probably played in the middle school lunchroom..." one girl raised her hand and said, "the penis game???" YES! the very one.

for those of you that don't know, the penis game goes a little something like this.

one person whispers "penis."

the next says "PEnis" a little louder.

then "PENIS" and "PEENNIISSS!!!!!!"

kids find this especially entertaining in public spaces... like lunchrooms or during spanish class. each person that says "penis" is basically daring the next to say it louder. i totally grew up playing this game. sometimes even in sunday school... the mother of all dares.

next time you've got to talk to kids about sex, try out the penis game, if it's age appropriate. definitely breaks the ice.

so excited

this time tomorrow, i'll be on a plane to BALTIMORE! the city that claims my heart. i'm headed to adam & bethany's wedding, which is actually in buffalo, but i'm flying into b'more JUST so i can get an extra 20 hours of quality time (in the car) with my friends. AND i get to do some wedding planning with the lovely christina, due to be married in may! i'm so excited about his weekend, i can hardly stand it!!!! start warming up the beer taps at ropewalk... lau's coming home.

lessons from a 14 year old

i was talking to one of my youth last week, discussing the high school dating scene over a cup of coffee (have i mentioned that i love my job?) at one point she said, "every one of my guy friends likes at least 3 girls. they just can't make up their minds!" she was lamenting the fact that even her boyfriend was into other girls. and i thought, ah, poor high schoolers. they just don't know what they want. i'm so glad that's not MY dating scene any longer...

but perhaps i was wrong.

i visited my friend carolyn (and her wonder dog molly!) last friday in chapel hill. we met up with my rock star (literally) friend, alex wilkins, and then went to his gig at a bar across from UNC. it was fun.

but during the course of the night, a guy named ryan professed that i was his soul mate. maybe this is because we were talking about theology and linguistics in a bar. i mean, it is rare bar talk. but soul mate? and it was especially discouraging, as ryan happens to be ENGAGED. how can an engaged man mistake me for his soul mate? really?

the real kicker was when i came home to find an email from engaged-man-ryan, who i suppose found my email address on my blog, stating that he's really a very nice and faithful guy, but that he'd like to start up a conversation type relationship with me. over email. and i'll add that his email address seemed to have been made up, strictly for this purpose. s-k-e-t-c-h-y.

point being... do 14 year olds never grow up?

here i thought the "liking 3 girls at once" problem was reserved to the dramas of high school, but it doesn't seem to be a safe assumption.

the evening still rocked, though, since i got to see carolyn AND even did an impromptu duet with alex. i'm lovin' me some tambourine.

fall fashion

so, bachelor numero dos responded to the "thoughtful" (thanks suzz) question regarding homosexuality, and his response was not only reasonable... he could relate. seems "esteban" (as we'll call him) has a gay brother. go figure.

it's the latest accessory.

esteban is a bit of a paradox to me. some things he says make me think, 'this guy is real and has lived and i think we could be friends.' other things make me think, 'are you brainwashed?' so we'll see what's behind door number 2, i suppose.

pablo peters out

seems the pablo story ends before it really begins.

see, i was at lunch with a girlfriend and guyfriend from work. we'll call them lindsay and tim (since those are indeed their names). i was updating them on the latest in the eharmony saga. oddly enough, both of them were "familiar" with eharmony already. i'm telling you, it's everywhere!

anyway.

when i mentioned i was in "open communication" (ie: emailing) with this new guy, lindsay said, "huh... what's his name?"

i said, "well his profile says *pablo* but he signs his emails *brad*" (just go with the made up names).

lindsay's eyes just about bugged out of her head, "don't talk to him!"

"you know him?"

"i told you i'd tried eharmony before!" she gave me a few reasons to steer clear of pablo... so that's that.

small world.

i just emailed pablo to say, sorry man, but you've been matched with one of my friends, and i've got to bail.

another one bites the dust.

whoa whoa whoa

apparently the fact that i'm blogging about eharmony is not a deterrent. i'm now in "open communication" with a guy we'll call pablo. you know how i love nicknames (not so special bryan... blind date bob... etc.)

cat's out of the bag

i got a response. and i think it was more than reasonable. and that's all i'll say about that because it's really not fair for me to broadcast some guy's thoughts on homosexuality, right? it's not his blog.

but it is mine, so i will tell you what he asked me in response, and how i answered (and then you'll know why the cat is indeed out of the bag).

1. What are some things you've done for fun in your free time over the last few weeks? (doesn't have to be anything crazy, just an snapshot of what you do for fun)
I'm headed out to grill with some friends now, went to a movie with girlfriends last night, high school football game Friday (that's job related, but fun too), dinner with friends Thursday night, and I was in South Africa the week before that. Fun usually involves eating, drinking, or something active (like wall climbing or salsa dancing). I like to be with my friends. If I'm alone, I read for for fun too.
(note: just to keep things honest, i didn't actually grill out tonight, but had cheese and crackers with friends instead. and i don't wall climb often, but it's an example of "something active" and i would go more often if i could.)

2. Describe your spirituality.
That's broad. My relationship with God is very important to me and informs just about everything I do. I read the Bible and journal (pray) every morning. Not because I think that's how "spirituality" ought to be done, but because it feeds me. I'm enrolled in a theology class, which I enjoy. I also have a lot of non- "spiritual" friends, which I also enjoy. Both challenge me in very meaningful ways, and both keep me growing and authentic. I think spirituality is personal, but it's not something I'm reluctant to share in the least.

** and here's the kicker! **

3. Why did you join eHarmony?
Honestly, some friends and I decided it would be funny for me to give it a 3 month trial and then blog about it. That said, it's something I've taken seriously, as it wouldn't be an honest "try" otherwise. I do desire to be in a meaningful relationship, but I thought surely eharmony would take the fun and romance out of dating... so this experiment of sorts helped me to take the plunge. I suppose you can google me now.

wonder if that'll get me dumped?

1 down, 2 to go

well i've exhausted the first month of my eharmony membership. i only paid for 3, and i'm not keen on renewing. so 2 months to go before i'm back to... more of the same... ie: not dating. but i'm okay with that.

perhaps that's the problem? i mean, if asking authentic questions gets you nothing but crickets, maybe this kind of thing is meant for peeps that are SO eager to date, that authenticity falls by the wayside. i think eharmony doesn't really jive with my M.O.

awkward silences

alright. let me explain "guided communication" on eharmony.

step 1: guy sends me 4 pre-fabricated multiple choice eharmony questions (i never instigate conversation... call me old fashioned).

step 2: i answer 4 questions and respond with 5 pre-fab questions.

step 3: guy answers my questions

step 4: i send "must haves/can't stands" or "mhcs" in eharmony speak (yes, they have their own language).

step 5: he sends his mhcs.

step 6: i send 3 questions that i actually get to make up myself...

and that's as far as i've gotten... because 2 guys have yet to answer my questions. i think this is the one that stumps them:

how do you feel about homosexuality? a member of my family is gay. it's hard for me to wrap my head around at times, but i love this person dearly. just thought i'd put that out there.

one of the guys hasn't responded in almost 2 weeks. i only blindsided the other guy just yesterday. and the jeopardy theme song plays on...

and i'm back

south africa was awesome, though i took very few pictures (it wasn't that kind of trip) and bought nothing while i was there (other than decongestants for my cold... why do i always get colds in africa?)... i DID get to see 5 of my students from benin!pictured are anthelme, alexis, yves, jonas, pelagie and me.
i stayed in a "luxury tent" 2 hours north of jo'burg. i wasn't sure what that meant until the porter at the hotel ushered me to my room, at which point i exclaimed, "holy crap!" (i have a way with words.) the thatch roof made it a "tent," while the heated floors, huge bathroom, plush furniture and chandelier made it "luxury." it was a paradoxical week to say the least. worlds colliding on so many levels. thanks for your prayers; it was quite the blessing.

off to africa

i'm leaving for jo'burg, south africa, tomorrow morning. i haven't packed. i'll be gone 9 days. i have a theology test 2 hours after i get back to the US, so i'm typing my little fingers off, trying to get as much information into my computer as possible so i don't have to lug the dictionary of christian theology and the dictionary of the christian church along with me. good times. i did do laundry this morning, so at least i've got that going for me.

i'll be staying in a "luxury tent." i can't wait to see what that means!

i'm pretty psyched that i get to spend a week working with YFC again. it'll be great to work with youth from all over the world (it's an international youth leadership conference), and it will be great to see some missionary friends too.

i'll admit, though, that i'm really going to miss my kids here, and the peeps i work with, and my friends. i'm so glad i'm going to miss them. it feels good.

please pray for my safety, thanks.

picture perfect

a few words about posting pictures on eharmony.

first off, you probably don't want to post a picture of you hanging all over a girl (if you're a guy)... and you certainly shouldn't post a series of pictures of you with the same girl over and over. no one wants to see how hot (or not) your ex was.

if you do post a picture of you with a girl, there's no need to add the caption "i'm on the left" if you're standing on the left. chances are, we can figure that out... one would hope.

shirtless pics (for guys) are a little risky. they appear especially stupid if it's clear that you're taking a picture of yourself... shirtless. really?

beware of cheesy captions. "it's 5 o'clock somewhere," "i'm too sexy for my shirt," or "i love kids!" to name a few.

if that really is who you are, then keep it up. i'm all for authenticity. some girl (not me) will totally dig it.

that said, i probably ought to post the lone picture posted on my profile. i'm sure it's worthy of critique as well. it's not on this computer though. i'll just tell you, it's a semi-profile pic, my hair thrown up in a mess, no make-up, and a couple of discreet elephants in the background. it's how i normally look, minus the elephants... which i really posted to see if anyone would notice the context of the picture in the first place.

addendum:
here is said picture...

i love my church

this isn't a new phrase. i've been saying it since i moved here, but friends in baltimore know i used to say it there too. what can i say. i'm a church lady.

but really, my church is amazing. last sunday was parish day, when we celebrated the beginning of the church program year. we had blue grass, fried chicken, games, face painting, and of course... a climbing wall.
seriously? yes. and if that's not cool enough, the wall was donated in thanksgiving of... me. i mean, some people get altar flowers donated in their honor, but what says "we're glad you're here" like a rock climbing wall? pretty much nothing. my church is awesome.

i found myself thinking the same this morning, as trumpets heralded the start of the worship service, a string quartet played during eucharist (the music just about made me cry), john preached a great and thoughtful sermon, and everywhere there is a sense of "we are so glad you're here..." whether you're a kid or an old man or a youth minister. and the altar flowers smelled nice too. i love it.

online dumping

i was a little surprised the first time i got an email saying, "there comes a time in every relationship when one must decide whether to continue or move on... so-and-so has decided to close communication with you for **insert reason here*** at this time. we feel it's important for you to have the opportunity to respond, should you choose to do so." that's a paraphrase. anyway, i was like... 'i got dumped?!? but i don't even know you! i haven't even read your profile yet!' but then i was like, 'wait a sec, this means i can clean the losers out of my inbox. woohoo!'

i've been on a cleaning spree.

every day, around 3am, i get a new crop of matches. usually 5-7 guys. the matches are ridiculous. today i had 5 guys from georgia. georgia? next they'll be matching me with peeps in oregon! two of today's matches also happened to be 40, meaning they are closer to my mom's age than my age. unfortunately, that's not one of the reasons you can select for closing a match... "lauren has decided to close communication with you because she thinks you ought to date her mother." and really, i wouldn't let them date my mom. i'm just making a point.

initial thoughts

i'm going through matches about as fast as i go through a bag of m&m's. i try to shoot 'em down before they even get a chance to look at my profile. that's because eHarmony, in it's infinite match-making wisdom, keeps setting me up with crazy fundamentalist types. i mean, were i to date a guy, i'd like him to be a Christian. definitely. but where are the normal Christians?

okay there is one that contacted me. he actually skipped past all the cheesy questions in "guided communication" and requested "fast track" so we could go straight to emailing. i was a little wary to accept his fast track request, but then decided it's all part of the experiment, so i gave it a shot. he'd actually sent me a nice email, saying that he, as a minister/professor, understood what i meant in my profile when i talked about wishing people didn't get weirded out when i tell them i'm a youth minister... that they start rewinding the conversation we've just had in their heads, trying to remember if they've said anything incriminating. the subject heading of his email was "beer and jesus." he said that when he encounters that situation, he invites the person to talk more over a cold beer, and then they usually chill out a bit.

that's todays update. also, i will say, this is slightly time consuming.

taking the plunge

it's official. i'm experimenting with online dating.

see, it started with little nudges from my friends, little jokes or threats here and there. nothing persuasive, though, since i'm honestly content as is. then i was talking to a friend last weekend about her online dating experiences, and we agreed that even if you don't end up dating someone, it's a good way to learn more about yourself and others. that got me thinking.

i filled out the personality profile. mostly so i could just see how they described me. it all seemed accurate, except when they said i could be described as "avant-garde," going against the norm, pushing the boundaries of what makes most people comfortable. what? but i'm so traditional! oh, yeah... i guess i did travel to pakistan (and hope to go back soon)... and i did live in africa... and i did quit my steady job to be a missionary. maybe that's "pushing it" a bit. fine. just because i think that's normal doesn't mean everyone else does. who gets to define normal anyway?

after finishing my profile, i was sent a few matches. whatever. but then two of them tried to contact me! they asked a few pre-fab questions, i tried to respond, but wham! i was shut down. apparently you have to pay to respond. hmm... is it worth it?

well, i took a vote over dinner with friends. really, i didn't have to take a vote because everyone was on board. i will indeed try this online dating nonsense, and i will keep you posted on the drama that ensues. don't get your hopes up. right now i'm just answering questions. i wouldn't consider dating a single guy i've been "matched" with so far.

two side notes: 1) apparently this online dating thing is quite common. two of my dinner buddies tonight had personal experience to add to the mix. 2) from what i can tell so far, guys like to post pictures of themselves with nieces and nephews. is that supposed to be endearing? boy, this is going to be a long 3 months.

keep back!

yesterday i went wall climbing, which happens to be a ways out of town, so that provided some driving practice with friends. i did alright, except when i stalled out 3 times at the same traffic light... watching it go from green... to yellow... and red again. when i finally did go, i peeled out a bit. later in the same day i had a solid 3 second peel-out. you could smell it. i was beginning to think i'd made a huge mistake purchasing a 5-speed vehicle.but today was a new day, and i had to get out on the road. i mean, i HAD to. apparently i left my last name off one of the gazillion forms i signed at carmax, so i had to make the long journey back out there... on the crazy expressway... all... by... my... self. i took a deep breath, grabbed my roll of blue masking tape, and put a big sign across the back of my car that reads "KEEP BACK... i'm learning." i ventured over to the church parking lot for a bit of a warm-up, feeling my way in and out of that tricky first gear, and off i went.

and i made it! without a single stall-out or peel-out! no one got on my back. i watched in my rear-view mirror as one lady died laughing after squinting to see the fine print on my home-made sign. ah, what a day.
then, on the way back to my house, i put the hatchback feature to good use with a trip to home depot. i needed a big piece of wood (2 ft deep, 4 ft long) to finish making my desk before school starts this week. can i please tell you how easy it is to fold down the seats in my groovy mazda3? oooooh so easy. i slid my desk top in, pulled the door shut, and thought, 'that, missy, is why you have a hatchback.' it made my day.

the car

i bought a car today. a mazda3 hatchback with a sunroof. i like it. sure it's a 5-speed... and sure i didn't know how to drive a 5-speed (until an hour or two ago)... mere minor details.

the purchase:

i bought the car at carmax, which i have to say, was a pleasant experience. the guy that worked with me was definitely a car salesman, a tad annoying at times, but he was not one bit slimey. he wasn't clever enough to be slimey, and i mean that in a good way. very what-you-see-is-what-you-get. he'd say things that were very not-smooth, which helped his credibility. it sounds like i'm trashing the guy, but seriously, i liked him. also, carmax is bending over backwards to work with my out-of-state credit union. the credit union lady told me over the phone, "girl, are you lucky. i've never known carmax to treat someone this good." maybe it helped that i brought john (a priest) to test drive the car for me (while wearing his priestly collar). so john test drove it, i bought it, and then my friend aimee drove it home. woohoo!

the lesson:

i had a crash course in driving standard. lat ran to my house, we drove back to his house, did a couple laps around his neighborhood (i stalled maybe 10 times on my first left-hand turn), picked up friends for dinner, drove back to lat's... and then i was on my own. it's only a 3-4 mile drive, but it's not direct. anyway, i made it home without stalling once, thanking God for the lack of traffic. 1st gear is really tricky, but the rest isn't too bad.

so now i have a car, but i'll be riding my bike to my morning appointment... maybe driving standard will keep me from driving too much. the bike life has been good.

rains: then and now

i knew when i walked out the door to work this morning that it was going to rain. i was surprised the skies held back as long as they did, finally unleashing their wet fury as i started the walk back home from the office. i didn't mind. i had a ridiculous grin on my face as i walked, glad my umbrella would hide my elation from not-so-considerate drivers, sloshing me in their wake.

i think the rain here is funny. i know it will soon be the start of the shorter rainy season in benin, where the rain seems to shoot up from the ground rather than down (or sideways) from the sky. here, the sidewalks and streets create rivers in a matter of moments. in benin, "potholes" the entire width of the dirt (really, sand) road form green filmed pools of various wastes. i don't mind walking in the rain run-off here. sure, it's full of harsh chemicals, but i've yet to see a man pee on the wall of my home in my nearly 3 months here, so i've got that going for me.

since i was reminiscing a bit, i thought i'd look up my journal from this day a year ago in benin. here's an excerpt on food.

I’m getting better about eating meat off bones and using my hands. Farhan would be proud. I don’t know if I was eating pork or goat tonight… it was tough enough to be goat. It was good though. Meals basically consist of some form of meat (whole fish, pork, chicken, goat, or “bush meat”) and a cheap simple starch. The starch could be couscous or rice, or more likely pounded yam or maize, which looks gross and gelatinous when first served, but then settles and changes to a consistency similar to powdered mashed potatoes. It’s actually pretty tasty. I had fish for lunch, and I tried tasting one of the egg sacs in the fish. It actually tasted kinda like pate, but I couldn’t eat the whole thing just because of what it was. The only thing not eaten here are bones. When you eat fish, that means the brains, eye balls, and everything. I always give Josue the head to eat. Bleh. They serve a whole lot of starch at every meal so you fill up fast and then get hungry later. I don’t always clean my plate, at which point I think of the expression, “There are starving children in Africa.” I know! But a girl can only eat so much rice! Sometimes we have beans, which are called “azingoqui” in Fon. At the camp, the beans came with a side of bugs. I didn’t mind when I found one bug in my food. It had been boiled. No biggie. I showed it to Augustin and he asked, “what is his name?” and I laughed it off. But after finding 4 more (in the same plate of beans, mind you) I decided I’d had enough azingoqui and friends for the day. Every meal, I pray in my head, “God, may this food make me strong and not sick, please. Amen.” So far, so good.

sometimes i miss life in the developing world. maybe you know what i mean.

new wheels

no, not a car.

i gotta say, for having lived here only 2.5 months, i have some pretty awesome friends. one of which called the owner of "my" local bike shop today (who happens to train some of my triathlon friends) and filled him in on my situation. when i arrived with my poor bike (which is maybe 15 years old), mr. bike man hooked me up with a free (used) wheel and free (used) tires too. i told him i'd been considering moving over to a lighter tread tire, being that i was on sidewalks more than mountain trails, hoping to make my rides through town a bit faster and easier. my bike looks hilarious now, like a drag-racer, says mr. bike man. skinny tire on front, thicker tire on back, but it's a good combination for my needs. when all was said and done, he waved me out of the store with a smile, telling me to come back when i'm ready to buy a road bike... and start training... hmmm... train?

i'm suffering a bit of delayed shoulder pain today, i guess from bracing myself at impact, which i'm hoping is extremely temporary.

other than that, i'm back on the road tomorrow. score.

lauren splats... almost

so much for not blogging...

i got hit by a car tonight on my way to the gym. i was riding my bike on the sidewalk (i'm told this is not illegal and much safer than riding on the road), going against traffic (again, i'm told this is safer), when i came to an intersection. i slowed down, noted the stopped car, checked the green light and the pedestrian crossing, and continued forward into the intersection. i saw the stopped car start into a right turn, realized what was about to happen, swerved, and CRASH. they clipped my back tire, knocking me over, but i caught myself and the bike. i have a few minor cuts and bruises, but nothing major. sadly, my bike will need a little TLC before i'll be able to ride again (slight problem when it's your primary means of transportation), but still nothing major. the lexus that hit me will have to get a new bumper, though... yikes. i didn't get the driver's contact information since 10% of me was scared i didn't have the right of way. i can't afford a lexus bumper. the couple that hit me was more concerned about my ability to walk than anything. i think the little lady in the passenger seat was more shaken up than i was.

anywho... my dad thinks i should get a car.

onion love

one of my favorite people in the world, who happens to be horrible at updating her blog or sending emails, yet wonderful at "superpoking" and keeping up with my blog, is engaged. i found out via text message last night... oh, how times have changed.

i'm going to call susanne as soon as i finish typing this post to check the facts, but i believe she and ryan met online... and not just any old internet dating service... but the classifieds on the onion. the onion, if you don't already know it, is one of america's oldest ironic news sources. it is the mother of all pop-culture political satire that has peppered our media this past decade. and thank goodness... one needs a sense of humor to survive.

i have friends that have met online and married before... but this is the first onion love i know of. makes me wonder if my friends' threat to give me an online dating membership for my birthday wasn't such a bad idea after all.

naaah.

time out

my readership has cut in half since i returned to the US... as have my posts... but i'm thinking i'll take the month of august off blogging.

that being said, here's one quick story that furst thought i ought to share.

i went to a wlu party last sunday (alumni function) and met lots of great peeps headed to lex to join the best student body in the world. i was often asked by other adults if this would be my freshman year as well, which made me feel better about my 28th bday last week.

anyway, i barely met this one guy, but he was kind enough to give me his calling card when we parted ways. no, i don't mean business card. i mean he handed me a card with his name and number, likely on crane's cotton paper... very nice. i looked at him and said, "seriously?" my friend lat said the same to me in the car when i said, "i'm intrigued. i think i'll have to call this calling card guy." "seriously?"

so i did. i called him wednesday and asked him questions like, "would you say you're an eccentric person?" still, i was intrigued, so i accepted his invitation to a theme party this weekend... maybe...

i'm curious if this calling card concept yields greater returns than business cards. i did google the guy before calling (i'm not stupid) and he's an investment banker with a major bank. they're a dime a dozen here. so maybe the calling card is where it's at?

au naturale

i've been experimenting the past few weeks with deodorant. see, antiperspirants are bad for you. really bad. anything with aluminum is bad. this is an especially sensitive topic for peeps with close ties to alzheimer's, which definitely applies to my family. i've disposed of all aluminum pots and pans in my possession, and the next move is from antiperspirants to deodorant. i mean, honestly, i tend perspire with an antiperspirant anyway. i'm okay with that. i'm over it.

i'm currently trying out dr. hauschka's floral deodorant. it smells like roses. but i'm not sure i do. so a lot of effort goes into discreetly smelling myself (not that discreet if i'm blogging about it, of course). if you're near me in the coming weeks, feel free to comment on my aura, if you catch my drift. i'd appreciate the feedback.

dog flips

i finally joined the ymca yesterday. it's a good 2.5 mile uphill battle on the bike to get there (and back... now i understand the "uphill both ways" concept), meaning i'm exhausted by the time i bike there, work out and bike back. but i'm hoping this will turn into a healthy routine.

i kinda shocked myself at the yoga class yesterday. this is only the 3rd class i've attended in over a year (though i toyed with yoga on my own in benin). this next phrase will make no sense to non-yogis... but we were in down-dog with one leg up and over when the instructor said, "now flip your dog if you want." boom! i flipped my dog! without even thinking about it! that move used to scare me, and here i just stumbled into it quite gracefully. always nice when your body surprises you. i wonder if anyone saw the look of shock on my face.

posts like this will probably lead to an increased drop in readership, but it was seriously one of the highlights of my week.

happy bday benin

benin just celebrated 48 years of independence, as this article states, in nonsensical english. the writer's last name is assogba... wonder if he's related to my friend mathieu? the famous singer and genius behind this video?

garden of the gods

being the international woman of mystery that i am, i run into friends just about everywhere i go. while staying outside of monument, colorado this week (near colorado springs) i had visitors just about every day. kim came up monday, sharing with me the VERY exciting news that she and scott are pregnant! then art and lois came up on tuesday, taking me to the exact same restaurant as the previous evening (but i didn't tell them that because i loooove mexican food). then leslie came up wednesday (she only just moved to colorado two weeks ago) and we ventured off to garden of the gods.

you may remember leslie visited me in benin back in march. it was great to talk to someone that had actually witnessed the craziness of my life abroad. we had a lot of good laughs. we also took a lot of ridiculous pictures, fitting in to tight crevices, acting like idiots, the usual. it's great to have friends all over.

totally sucks awesome hated it beautiful

yes, this week i'm exploring a series of paradoxes with a bunch of other missionaries just returned from the field. a little thing called "debriefing and renewal" in the mountains of colorado. some people have come "home" for good, others are just here for a year before returning to assignments abroad. all are totally grateful for their experiences and are struggling now with varying degrees of home-sickness (for "adopted" countries) and identity crisis. yet all have been burned, bruised, and battered; the side of being a missionary that is rarely shared outside the safest of circles. this place is definitely a safe one, and i'm glad i made it out here, albeit (slightly) grudgingly.

perfect score

north carolinians everywhere might as well roll out the welcome mat to their newest resident; yours truly just got her license.

this is a big deal for 2 reasons... a) it's symbolic of the fact that i'm putting down roots here (though i confess my heart is still mostly in maryland), and b) in order to get a NC license, you must first pass a driver's test. the test is full of obscure questions like, "what percentage of driving accidents are due to drunk driving?" is it really necessary that i know the exact percentage to be a good driver? isn't it enough to know not to drink and drive?

lucky for me, someone in my office mentioned that one could find a "study guide" (i refuse to call it a cheat sheet) online. thus, this little lady got a perfect score... booyah!

(really, what ever happened to people saying booyah?!?)

when i got back to my job, at the church, i was amazed to find kids moon-bouncing inside. yep, you can fit two moon-bouncers in our "multi purpose" space (which happens to be used for our contemporary services). who knew? and when can i bounce?

google hearts walkers

i use google maps a lot... mostly because i'm new to town. i love how when getting directions, you can use your mouse to drag your route onto smaller (less trafficky) roads. great for bikers. but NOW there's an additional option! when getting directions, you can click "by car" or "walking." not only does it automatically move your route to roads less traveled, but it also estimates your walking time! i think this change denotes some serious behavior changes in the US. i'm so proud.

car shopping

really, i ought to say virtual car shopping... as i've yet to test drive a single vehicle... but in my imagination, i've narrowed down my options to the perfect car. the 2007 nissan versa hatchback sl... with a sunroof. i've only found ONE with a sunroof so far, and it's in dulles, which makes me think i should fly up to dc and visit lots of friends on the drive back south. sounds like a week of fun, right? and i'd need that week to learn how to drive stick, as the ONE versa sl with sunroof happens to be a manual. no worries. i actually think i'd be a great manual driver, given 2 or 3 days of roadtripping and couch surfing. sadly, i don't have time for such ventures... not for another 2 weeks, at least... and by then my currently "perfect" car will likely be sold... eventually replaced by another potentially "perfect" set of wheels. i mean, i'll be driving this car for the next 10 years, so it's got to be just right. for now, though, the bus and bike are still fun. liberating, even. still, the possibility of purchasing a car in the near future looms large.

recovery

it appears that for every day of hanging out/working/living with middle schoolers (that would be last sunday through wednesday), i need an equal portion of sloth and sleep (thursday through sunday). but finally, i have emerged from hibernation.

i did peek my head out the door a couple of times during the 4-day respite. i went to the cardiologist for an echocardiagram. those are fun! it's like an ultra-sound, except that i watched my heart beating on a screen instead of a fetus. small difference.

i later biked to the ymca (2.5 hilly miles), tried one of their yoga classes (i was impressed) and then biked back home. it pretty much felt like 3 workouts in 1, but i'm sure that will improve as i get back to an exercise routine.

finally, i went out with some friends and met some new peeps on saturday. always fun to meet new people. then two of us split off to take on the salsa scene. i'm pretty sure that in flip-flops, i could out-dance any girl there. they could all kick my butt in heels, though. which is unfortunate, as no real salsa dancer wears flip-flops. (sigh).

burping

after spending this week with over 40 middle school kids, sleeping on the floor of a downtown church, fixing peeps houses (which is significantly difficult with 8th graders) in the sun... i'm too tired to write anything eloquent...
not that i ever do...
but i will say that i learned a new burping game this week. apparently, every time someone burps, it's cool to scream out random colors, "red! black! orange! canary yellow!" with no repeats... the last one to think of a color (and scream it) loses. the loser has to grunt. grunting is embarrassing. the end.

kids and tattoos

i went to the movies last night with a group of middle schoolers. we saw "prince caspian" of the narnia series. it was good, though we had the entire theater to ourselves, which made for lots of noise and finger puppets.

anyway, before the film, we stopped in at mcdonalds for some nourishment. it happened to be connected to a convenience store which happened to have a tattoo machine--the kind where you insert 2 quarters and get a fake tattoo in return. seeing this as an opportune bonding moment, i invited the kids to pick out a tattoo for me to paste on my arm. after much deliberation, they decided i should get one of the "magic" type tattoos, hoping for a dragon. the less desirable options included silly flowers and hearts, sports and racing, or random "lovey" airbrushed types. i put my quarters in under the pictures of dragons and swords... but out popped a tattoo of two people embracing romantically, with the words "lets get it on" inscribed in cursive below. oops.

salsa hurts

i went salsa dancing last week... twice.

wednesday i went with a guy named ricardo. "lauren laughs" regulars will understand the humor in this small coincidence. anyway, ricardo took me to a place that starts with lessons before moving to just plain dancing. we did the first (beginner) lesson. easy... a tad boring. we asked one of the instructors if we could do the intermediate lesson too. she hesitated and said yes, but just to sit it out if we felt it was too advanced. psha. we rocked the intermediate class so well that the same instructor walked up to us later and asked us to audition for the advanced class that will be starting later this month: "just throw something together." okay. maybe...

i danced with the other instructor at one point, a man in pointy white shoes (mandatory for all male salsa teachers). sadly, i stubbed my toe on his shoes, breaking my toenail and spewing blood everywhere. that was fun. i really need to invest in salsa shoes.

but you can't let a broken toe nail keep you on the sidelines of life. no sir. thursday night i was back at it, only with a group of latinos. (ricardo is not latino... well, he's half... but it's a repressed half). anyway, my new latino friends all speak spanish. it was great to be in that environment again, and i understood everything, i just kept responding in french. shoot! till a moroccan guy joined us, then i had a french buddy. oh, the woes of a multi-lingual lover. still, i hope to hang with (and eventually hold a coherent conversation with) these new friends every once in a while, if only i could get used to the festivities starting at midnight.

progressive kitchen 1

i don't so much have a "fully functional" kitchen yet. i'm reminded of this at odd moments... like when i bought a can of beats to eat on a salad, but then realized i had no can opener. nothing a pocket knife can't fix. or when i decided i'd make brownies this weekend, but had to do so without measuring cups. the result: brownie goo the entire staff made fun of.

so i'm on a mission this week/weekend to set up my kitchen. i've got dad's monster van parked in the driveway till sunday, so i might as well make use of it! so far, i've purchased a spice rack (including 20 spices), a liquid measuring cup and a strainer. odd mix, i know.

this would be so much easier if i were getting married. bridal registries are so discriminatory.

musica

two awesome finds this week:

1. paste. the magazine. they send you a new cd every month with new releases! how cool is that? and it's only 20 bucks for a year subscription. awesome.

2. wrnr online! in case you didn't know, the very best radio station of all time happens to live in downtown annapolis. life without wrnr has been a sad void of sound, till carolyn told me to just plug-in online! it's so much easier to get out of bed in the morning knowing "planet alex" is just a click away.

good stuff.

i LOVE the vintage wallpaper that adorned my bathroom up until this weekend. it was so super cool, but it was peeling in the worst way... so it had to go. let me tell you, taking wallpaper down from the wall is no easy task. goodbye lovely little butterflies on yellowed background...
and then i painted, which was also a bit of a task... mostly because i had no step ladder so i did all kinds of acrobatics to get from one high corner to the next. painting has always been a social event for me, usually helping friends, but this time i was going it alone, and that was quite nice too. i kept thinking, 'i'm doing this just for me.' sounds silly, but it's a rare occasion that i put that much effort into anything that's only going to benefit me. i'm still debating if i like this blue, though...

go cats!

sometimes my mom likes to remind me that i was a cheerleader by thrusting her finger up in the air and shouting, "go keeaaaatts!" because that's how we used to say it in high school.

this is a different kind of cats. this is the city bus.

after my woe-is-me-i-have-no-social-life moment yesterday, i did indeed email some friends to see what was going on this weekend (the answer is EVERYone is leaving town), and someone tipped me off about an outdoor music venue downtown. so i pulled out my bus map and went downtown. easiest thing ever. even coming back in the dark and rain wasn't a problem. i kept thinking, i'm on a reputable city bus with lots of people, and that's got to be safer than riding on the back of a motorcycle with a stranger in benin, right? i am lovin' me some public transportation.

not to mention... i met someone last night that likes both biodiesel AND salsa. i mean, what are the odds. thank you city bus, for expanding my social horizons.

where the hell is matt?

how cool is this video...

totally reminds me of an impromptu village dancing party in northern benin with peace corps friends.

snails pace social life

well i never thought the day would come when i was bored on nights and weekends... but it has. i am meeting lots of people and i have at least one social activity a week, but i'm spending even more time alone here than i did in benin. part of me knows i ought to enjoy the respite. in two months' time i'll be longing for the days when i could come home and do nothing but read. but when it's almost every day? it gets old. my eyes hurt from reading. last night i thought i'd give myself a break by watching a movie... but i only have one... love actually... yeah... great movie to watch when you're already feeling a bit lonely. yesterday, in a moment of weakness, i even agreed to babysit on a saturday night. this is serious.

ok. i will stop whining at start being proactive. i'm going to email my new acquaintances and make plans. right. now.

small town america

i went to home depot this morning to pick up paint supplies with my landlord. i'm in a really unique situation, where instead of having to track down my landlord and wait months for anything to be accomplished, i see mine every day. and every day he smiles and says, "how's the house? anything you need?" (tip for the day: if ever you can rent from the church... do it!)

while i was waiting at the paint counter, i noticed a slightly funny, slightly familiar, very friendly guy mixing paint. i thought to myself, 'huh. that guy looks just like mason... haven't seen him since high school.' then i looked at the guy's orange smock, which said: "my name is MASON" in big magic marker letters. no way.

yes way. an old friend from rockbridge county. because the world really is that small.

soooo not in africa anymore

i spent most of yesterday at a theme park with 25 middle schoolers. i'll be honest and say i could have sat at a table in the shade all day and been happy... i'm not the biggest fan of rides and such. not that i mind them, it's just not my idea of a rockin' good time. but i did go on rides... lots of them. all of them. even the worst i'm-gonna-puke-my-brains-out rides. why? because i'm earning my stripes. those middle schoolers went home thinking i was cool, and i went home feeling a little queezy.

so i ate some week-old pizza, cold, and i didn't get sick. (i was making sure it was safe before telling everyone else at the church to help themselves).

at some point last night, i got a little bored... so i walked to the grocery store. it gave me some time to reflect on how FAR from africa i am.

1. there are no fences. everyone has big welcoming front yards, unencumbered by walls topped with broken glass. there are also no guards. you can look directly into most neighbors windows, and that's okay.

2. there is grass and it's pretty. in africa, grass is considered a messy yard. my guard was constantly pulling up my grass. granted, grass can look messy when you cut it with a machete. no machetes here.

3. there are street lights.

4. despite all the comforts of the outdoors... the safety, the grass, the lighting... everyone shuts themselves up inside. no one is out on the streets talking to each other. def not africa.

5. no one stares at me or sings the whitey "yovo" song.

6. the grocery store... ooooh, the grocery store! i don't even know where to start on that one. luckily, my grocery store is a smaller "express" version, so i don't get TOO overwhelmed.

7. lots of cars. no motorcycles. less pollution. more trees. no beach. fireflies.

i'm still far from all my close friends, though. peeps here are super friendly, but i know it will take 6 months to a year before i have any really intimate friendships, and that's kinda sad. but do-able.

dc by storm

last thursday 29 9th graders, 5 adults and i all made our way to our nation's capitol via the overnight train. a little "urban adventure" of sorts. all 35 of us crammed into a youth hostel, toured the holocaust museum (after hearing a survivor describe his experiences the night before), rode a bus to the national cathedral (that was an experience... you try cramming 35 peeps onto a city bus during rush hour on a friday!), and then ate at the very chic "marrakesh" moroccan restaurant... complete with belly dancing... which the kids joined in on. of course.
the following day, we split up into 4 groups and sent the kids on a scavenger hunt... where they had to find various points of interest using only a map and public transportation. the boys started off "surfing" in the metro, thinking it was fun to be thrown around... but later were too cool for such childish games. i gotta say, i was impressed. the kids mastered the maps and metro, they walked for miles, the saw tons... they even protested in front of the white house. (that's one of my kids behind the bush mask). all in all, it was an extremely exhausting but very awesome 48hr trip!

where it's at: american healthcare

i know there's a lot of hullabaloo about health care in the US, but i have to say i had the most pleasant, efficient, even surreal experience at the doc's office yesterday.

i hadn't been to the dr. in over a year (except for that little ekg back in benin), so it was time for a full physical, etc. i was reminded of the need for a dr's visit when my chest started hurting on monday--oh, not that again...

so i called up a medical office and got an appointment the very next morning. amazing!

once there, i was struck by the cleanliness of the building. and the privacy! no need to strip down in front of random non-medical peeps here! (as opposed to benin). my new doc handled all possible medical needs quickly and thoroughly. she even gave me an ekg right there in my room, which was a lot less scary than the last one.

then she (the doc) sent me over to do some labs and x-rays... and by "over" i don't mean across town... but across the hall! wow!

while i was waiting for my labs (like, all of 5 minutes) i noticed a woman come into the waiting room to check on the plants. live plants. she was checking the health of the leaves, watering them, dusting them... i mean, what is this place? with professional plant care-takers!?!

some peeps (or plants) don't know how good they have it.

almost perfect camping

just about every year, graham and i go camping. this takes quite a bit of coordination, since neither of us have lived in the same state for 5 years now, but we all make time for what we think is important. we've camped the beaches of maryland, the mountains of virginia and north georgia, and now we can add north carolina to the mix.

after getting some advice, maps and books from my new favorite outdoors store (it's local) we decided the 2.5 hour drive to horsepasture river (which runs through gorges state park and nantahala national forest) was a bit far, but do-able. we had plenty to catch up on anyway.

typically, our camping trips, though awesome, have been marked by some kind of drama. usually in the form of rain... once with the added fun of a sand storm. but this time everything was just so beautiful and easy! our gear was ready, the weather was perfect, our pace was good, the sites were well worth the trek. there are 5 falls along horsepasture river, of which we saw two. turtleback falls is about 1.4 miles in from the trail head. it's easy to see why it's called turtleback, with a short round slide that provides a 15-foot drop (depending on where you start) for those brave enough to go over the edge. this would be an easy spot for a day trip-and-dip. rainbow falls is just 0.2 miles further, with a 125-foot drop. there's a swimming hole at the base, which also looked like fun... but we hiked on, leaving everyone else behind. really, i don't think we ran into anyone past rainbow falls (till the next morning). about 2 miles in, we decided to swim. it was a lot like goshen, va (my favorite swimming spot in the world) and the water was surprisingly warm for a mountain hike. we hiked on some more, thinking we might make it to the 3rd cascade, when we stumbled upon the best camp site ever. the ground was flat and clear, logs were placed as benches around a campfire spot, fire wood had been gathered and left behind... it was almost eerie. a stream about 10-yards away was great for washing up and collecting water. so we stopped, unloaded and set up camp in no time. when has it ever been this easy?!? we feasted on couscous, tuna and chicken noodle soup for dinner. we made a fire. we talked, told ghost stories, got a little scared, told jokes, laughed, and went to bed tired. pretty much perfect.

graham was slow getting up the next morning, so i chilled out on a log for a long time, which is the kind of thing i like to do. once he got up, we went for a swim and stretched out like lizards on rocks. graham wasn't feeling well at all, and it didn't look like he'd be feeling better any time soon, so we packed up to hike out. on our way out, we saw lots of people enjoying the various water holes and slides. this looks to be a popular spot in the summer. about 2/3 of the way out, we threw down our packs and sat on the side of the trail. graham waited for hikers to walk past before vomiting directly onto the trail. so much for perfect camping. miraculously, the vomit soaked right into the ground, totally unnoticeable in less than 2 minutes. in typical boot-and-rally fashion, we loaded up again and didn't stop walking till we got to the car. i drove home, graham rested... and continued to rest till he could drive home the following day. being sick sucks, but being sick while you travel sucks a little more.

still, it was an awesome weekend, and a great way to christen the mountains of north carolina, of which i hope to see a lot more.

hello south

after a month of US travels and adventures (college reunion, texas family, preakness race, awesome baseball, lots of coffee, tea and conversation)... i've picked up my roots and moved back down south. and by south i mean--i have a huge magnolia tree in my front yard and even the gas stations are closed on sundays.

i still have no car, and i'm in no rush to get one, as i can walk or bike to most places. that's awesome.

i have no tv or internet at home, and i think that will remain the case as well. it's nice to disconnect at times.

my house is huge, and it took me an hour to sweep and mop just the upstairs last night. tonight i'll tackle the downstairs.

don't let my evening cleaning escapades deceive you... i do have a bit of a social life gaining momentum daily. it's a small world.

work is too cool. i wear flip flops every day!!

i'm may go back to school this fall (nothing major) at a seminary down the road, still in walking distance.

the ymca (in biking distance) is huge and cheap and even has dry cleaning services.

there are 2 libraries in walking distance, as well as a grocery store, bank and pizza place.

people couldn't be friendlier.

lets hope something crazy happens soon so my blog will be interesting again!

mission (pretty much) accomplished

i just had a taste of benin right here in the good ole us of a.

last night i took the train down to dc to catch up with some peeps in our nation's capitol. it was a great cast of characters... melissa (friend from benin) and her boyfriend pedro, lily (old roommate), laurel (one of the previously inseparable b'more foursome... till we all left b'more), skye (college buddy), rhett (friend from benin), brian (old work buddy) and various innocent bystanders.

we met up at ghana cafe, which serves up some okay fufu (starchy mush) and a mean peanut sauce, among other things. they also have a good west africa music selection... all on the computer so you can pick your own songs... and i hear it's quite the place to be for live african music on weekends.

while people, food, and conversation were definitely the point of the trip and worth every moment... the kicker came later in the evening.

first off, rhett and i dusted off our salsa shoes (flip-flops in my case) and made our debut on the latino scene. i will say that the salsa here is quite different from africa, and i, for one, was a bit intimidated. but we danced, and i think we held our own. i actually danced with a couple latino men as well, and one of them (a kind old man) told me i danced well, and that he hoped to dance with me again... THEN he turned to rhett and gave him the thumbs up. ooooh, just like old times. why do peeps always assume two whities in a salsa club must be together?

next, we flagged a cab. and as soon as we started moving, the cab driver began to speak on the phone in what sounded like a familiar african language. i smiled at rhett as he asked, "is that yoruba or igbo?" "yoruba!" said the cabby. an excited conversation ensued about benin and nigeria. the cabby then asked, "are you two married?" he didn't seem to understand when rhett laughed and said, "no... but we would be if i loved Jesus." he gave us his congratulations, though neither of us is sure why.

so, yeah. good friends, starchy mush, salsa and yoruba all in one night. benin's not so far away.

sooo not what i expected

i felt kinda down friday night, which was ridiculous considering the very full day i'd spent catching up with friends. breakfast with lorraine, coffee with carolyn, lunch with laurel, dress shopping with christina and kim, going to the movies... not what you'd call a slow day. but still, i was feeling blue, and i was surprised when i figured out why.

i miss being the center of attention.

if you know me well, you're probably like, "what? that's sounds totally lauren-esque! what's the surprise?" for sure, i've always loved the spotlight. but i did get sick of the kind of attention one receives for being the only white person around. i was tired of being a spectacle in my own neighborhood in benin. and i used to think that the US was pretty well integrated in terms of racial diversity... but now i just look around and see white people everywhere! and i seem to blend in with them all. bummer.

so i know it's unreasonable, but i'm just being honest... i miss being the "ethnic" one in the room. now i'm just melba.

i look just like buddy holly

a storm blew through lubbock right as mom and i were about to fly back to charm city... so we're stranded till tomorrow. lucky for us, the illustrious buddy holly memorial statue is situated right next to our hotel. score. in case you were wondering what's so special about lubbock, now you know... buddy holly.

where's lau?

in texas...

visiting family...

too busy to blog.

first impressions

i've been back in the US about a week now. i don't really feel like i've moved back, since i've done nothing but visit old stomping grounds. i won't actually move anywhere for a few more weeks, which allows me to suspend reality just a bit longer. right now the weirdest things i notice are the fact that my clothes are in the dryer instead of hanging on a line... that i can heat up my tea water in the microwave... that i can plug my computer into any electrical socket without worrying about sizzles and pops. and i really like to drive.

the two biggest changes concerning my closest friends are these: erin and brian have a son named keegan, and christina and andy are engaged to be married. both very exciting things.

this is my first real face-to-face time with keegan, my first sort-of nephew. we'd skyped a few times while i was in africa, but nothing makes up for the smell and feel of holding a baby. we're going to be best friends. though i'll admit, since i missed most of erin's pregnancy, it seems more like keegan just showed up... not like he was birthed by one of my best friends. the stork brought him.

then there's christina and andy... who have been dating since i introduced them about 4 years ago. i cried when she told the story of how andy asked her to be his wife. she cries every time she tells it. the three of us spent the weekend in lex for our college reunion.

before heading to lex, christina took me to her stylist in b'more... seeing as i hadn't cut my hair in over a year. wearing dresses and letting my hair down... that's culture shock.

i woke up with a tic

not the facial-twitch kind... but the blood sucking kind. maybe i should have brought my mosquito net to the US after all!

this little guy did not want to let go... even after my dad tried to fry him off my face. stubborn little bugger.

flying dogs

flying back to the US from cotonou, i had a little extra baggage... her name was josie. her papers said she was a lab, but i'd never seen a lab look like josie before. she was born and raised in cotonou and belonged to a missionary family there. because dogs can't travel (with certain airlines) between may 15 and september 15, the price family (who departs benin after may 15) asked me to bring josie along. this is the story of our adventure together.

josie weighs about 23 kilos. she's really very sweet, though i've only been around her while drugged on sleeping pills (not me, the dog). when traveling internationally with a dog, there are all sorts of hoops to jump through. lucky for me, the prices did most of the hoop jumping. josies shots, papers, and even the little computer chip embedded in her shoulder... everything was meticulously cared for. all i had to do was get her from point A to point B. easy enough, right? eh... no.

it started with check in. the peeps in cotonou insisted that my luggage could only be checked to paris... not to dc. i said, "are you sure?" knowing they were wrong, but they thought they were right, so i let it slide. i was going to have to go through customs in paris anyway to take the dog out for a walk, what's a little luggage to keep me company?

i arrived in paris. i waited half an hour for josie to appear. in the mean time, i talked to the luggage peeps... three men eager to help. they said to leave my luggage with them while i walked the dog. "you sure?" "mais, oui! of course." ok.

josie and i got through customs and i took her out for a walk. she was very happy, though not as jumpy as i expected, feeling a bit groggy i suppose. we met a homeless man. there was no grass. she sniffed around for half a hour and was content to go back in her kennel. she even took two more sleeping pills without arguing. easy peasey.

we went back into the aiport, at which point i realized i was screwed. there was no way of getting back to those oh-so-helpful luggage men. i went to the airfrance counter to explain the situation and ask for help. they immediately said it was crazy that my luggage hadn't been checked all the way to dc. duh. no changing that detail though... so onto the next solution. airfrance lady told me to go to the next terminal, with josie, to check in again. and my luggage? she promised it would make it. ok.

i made it to the next terminal, that was easy enough, and found my place in the longest line ever. at this point i accepted the fact that i was likely not making my flight. oh well.

(side note: in my effort to make this experience less painful, i left one of my carry-on bags with my friend rhett, who happened to be flying with me from cotonou to dc. unfortunately for rhett, he was spot checked twice in my absence, both times insisting that the third bag belonged to his "wife" who just stepped out to walk the dog. rhett and i are not married, nor will we ever be (unless he finds jesus), but half of cotonou thinks we are, so he just ran with it.)

back to me. after half an hour of not moving in the longest line ever, i realized i was in the wrong line... so i found the right line and waited another 15 minutes before someone yelled, "passengers for dc?!" yes! that's me! i scooted to the front of check-in where i explained the entire situation to the lady behind the counter. thank God i speak french now. the lady said that the previous lady was crazy to send me on without my luggage. she also said cotonou peeps were crazy not to check my luggage all the way through. after establishing these truths (once again), she said she could get josie and me on the plane, but made no guarantees about my bags. good enough. i know people think the french are snobs, but this lady was a gem. 15 minutes later, i was racing through customs.

i ran to my gate and arrived just as they were shutting the door. i was the last person to board. i passed rhett while walking to my seat, at which point he said, "thank God!" (though he probably didn't really say that since he doesn't believe in God) and he filled me in on getting searched while carrying my luggage with "girlie" things inside.

i collapsed into my seat.

the funny thing is, josie didn't even pee in paris. she just wasn't feelin' it. maybe she was too sleepy.

i got mugged... i forgot

i celebrated my 5 year reunion this weekend at the world's finest learning institution... washington and lee university. you can say your school was better, and for you it probably was, but for me wlu was the best. is the best. in any case, i was catching up with friends, discussing world travels, when suddenly i remembered i was mugged last week! here's the story...

saturday a week ago i celebrated my students' graduation and then went to a dinner party for rhett, an american friend of mine who is returning to the US after 9 years of working in africa. i was sporting an african outfit (as pictured 2 blogs previous) and wanted to run home to change before late night activities ensued. so i jumped on the back of a zemi (moped taxi) and at the last minute asked my friend romeo to jump on behind me. this means there were three people on one moto-bike. this may or may not be illegal... technically, no more than two are supposed to be on a bike at once, but i'm convinced no one in cotonou is aware of this detail. so off we go, the three of us on a moto, at maybe 10pm... not even late.

the zemi driver stopped at a light... because it was red... this is normal. out of nowhere, like a flash of lightening, a man runs up to the moto, grabs my bag and runs off. only... he loses his grip. my bag was wedged so tightly between me and the moto driver--mugging man didn't have a chance. plus, romeo grabbed me and my bag from behind for protection. it's a darn good thing i opted to travel with the illegal third person!

so i'm okay. no harm done. maybe that's why i forgot to write about it.

welcome... home?

i'm leaving benin tomorrow. after living here 9 months, it's hard to say where home is. i was actually in the US for all of 38 hours a few weeks ago--yes, that means i spent more time in the air than i did on the ground... but it was for a job interview and it was totally worth it. when i got back to benin, my adopted family picked me up from the airport... which actually felt more familiar than when i landed in the US a few days before. i got to the house and my "little brothers" had made signs to welcome me home.

i am super psyched to move back State side, but i'm going to miss my family, friends and students here like crazy.

peace out benin!

graduation

so my students graduated from english class this weekend. we had a bit of a ceremony and i gave them all matching fabric so they can all have matching outfits. the quintessential gift of benin. here's vincent (his english name was vinnie) receiving his certificate and gift.

i'm very proud of each student. they worked so hard! it's been especially fun to watch those that were too scared to even try at first... now they laugh at their mistakes and give it their best. good times.

photo shoot

so while i refused to stay put yesterday in my recovery... i did at least try to pick outings with air conditioning... the cyber cafe, the embassy, and fondation zinsou. the cyber cafe is an obvious must for blogging... i had to swing by the embassy to add pages to my passport (no room for visas!)... and zinsou was just for fun.

here are ricardo, ashley, romeo, me (holding ricardo's niece catia) and rhett. zinsou has a photography exhibition i really enjoy. this was maybe my 4th visit. on certain afternoons, you can actually be part of the exhibit, which was the purpose of our group venture. props courtesy of zinsou. any guesses as to who the male models are?

gatorade saved my life

so yesterday i thought i was about to die. granted, i get a tad bit dramatic when i'm sick... but really, i felt like death. i lay in my bed with a cold rag on my face thinking of how i'd have to say all my goodbyes from behind my mosquito net... that instead of leaving africa next wednesday, i'd be leaving this earth this weekend. whoa is me.

though i usually live by myself, i'm staying with a friend my last days here. she decided to work from home for the afternoon after seeing my sad state. eventually, i worked up the energy to go to the malaria clinic to get my finger pricked. results were negative. i went to my doctor friend's house. she was concerned. i had a fever and really low blood pressure. she handed me gatorade and told me to call her in the morning.

well, i'm not 100% today, but i feel sooo much better. turns out "heat exhaustion" can really knock you out... and progresses to heat stroke and coma if you don't treat it with... gatorade. i'm under strict orders to stay indoors and lay low... which i'm not obeying... but i am wearing a baseball cap for the first time since i moved to benin. that should do the trick. i can't spend my last days here indoors!!!

not as young as i thought

my friend ashley just got back to benin from morocco, so a group of us (rhett, ricardo, romeo and i) all went to the pool to celebrate. we have less than 2 weeks to hang out together, so we're making the most of it. anyway, rhett has been teaching romeo to swim and he helped out ricardo yesterday as well. he also taught me to do a back dive. other than that, we pretty much hung out in the shallow end all day, playing like kids... because that's what you do when you can't swim well. seriously, we were like a bunch of 7 year olds. crawling all over each other, flipping and doing stunts. i think we pretty much annoyed every single patron there.

the result? today i am sore beyond belief. i did something to hurt my neck, and i'm guessing it had something to do with romeo and ricardo throwing me back and forth like a sack of flour. ow. at one point rhett and i tried to do that trick where you jump off the others' shoulders, only we found we're too old and heavy to do so.

def not as young as i used to be.

last class

last night was my last english class and probably my last trip to porto novo and back. it was quite the adventure. i arrived about 30 minutes late due to a major accident that stopped all traffic (and here, people actually turn off their cars... no use in wasting petrol, especially when there's no AC to keep on in the first place). then, as i walked to the entrance of the school, i noted a huge political rally. i'm pretty sure the US embassy (or anyone else official) would recommend avoiding rallies of any sort in any country. but me? i join them.

like in palermo, italy. i once joined in on a parade, singing and skipping with everyone else. only later did i discover they were demonstrating against the american "fascist pigs." oops.

or in la paz, bolivia. my bolivian professor's father was running for reelection as a senator, so a bunch of us piled in the back of a truck wearing political shirts, waving political flags. that was fun.

and yesterday, when i couldn't seen any other way to get past the crowd to my students, i started walking behind a car covered with political posters, smiling at all the shouting bystanders. good times. at last i walked in the classroom to find all my students quietly and diligently working on their exams. you can tell by their smiles they feel pretty good about their work. this i will miss.

bathroom humor

perhaps this is a bit off color for laurenlaughs... but i was in the paris airport yesterday (long story) and the bathrooms were just cracking me up. i walked into the ladies room in concourse E, near gate 90, and found that the doors to the stalls all made up a mural of white horses running wild. okay, whatever. interesting artwork, but nothing worth blogging over, right? oh, but then came the sound effects. yes, the speakers in the bathroom provided lovely "neigh!!!"ing and galloping noises for my listening pleasure. is this the frenchies' idea of a joke? or is it to cover up other, er, less pleasant bathroom sounds? or perhaps some kind of new art... both audio and visual at once?

another funny thing... i ran into 2 friends from the cotonou salsa club in the paris airport. granted, we were all flying back to cotonou, but really... what are the odds?

and finally, i was flying next to a benin mama who kept asking the flight attendants for more chocolate or bread or anything she could then stash in her plastic baggy to take home to her family. ask and ye shall receive! i was glad the flight attendants were cool with her. she had a heart melting old lady smile.

and now i'm back in benin... for 2 weeks and 1 day... it's not easy to say goodbye!

babies

in benin (and most of africa), babies are carried on the back. no fancy baby-carrying-doohickies here. just a simple pagne (piece of fabric) wrapped around you and the baby, much like you'd wrap a towel.

i've decided this is genius. i mean, women do all kinds of things with babies on their backs here. they hand wash clothes, carry stuff on their heads, ride on the backs of zems, clean the house, cook over charcoal fires along the street... the list goes on. nothing about a baby slows a woman down, it seems.

so i was picking up some things from my seamstress last week and asked if i could tie her 7 month old baby to my back for a picture. she got SO excited. she gave him a bath and put on his very best "lacy" outfit. here is the result:

and now i'm thinking... you know... if i don't get married in the next few years... i think i might adopt a baby. armed with a pagne, i'm pretty sure i'd make a good mom.

not-yo-mama's rosary beads

so, there are just a few things i need to buy from cotonou before moving back to the states, and funky fabric is one of them. last week, i was on a mission to find toothpaste fabric... today it was the virgin mary as well as chickens and eggs (not all on the same pattern, mind you!)

so my french tutor (angelica) went with me to dantokpa, west africa's largest open market. the place was crawling with guards, as someone had fired some shots there on tuesday... which is pretty unusual here. cotonou may have crime, but no one can afford guns.

anyway. we're out shopping for fabric when i point to a huge pile of long strands of multi colored beads. the untrained eye would take these for jewelry... but if you're been in africa long enough, you know "les perles" are worn low on the hips of just about every woman (and little girl) around. i asked angelica if she wore beads, and she said yes, that she actually needed to buy some new ones... so we stopped. she pointed out some and said, "these will catch the light at night, you should try them." i said, "who is going to see my beads at night but me? i think that's a bit overkill." so we picked out several strands for each of us, i bought them, and the shopping excursion continued. then i turned to angelica and said, "why do women wear beads on their hips?" she said, "to seduce men." EH? i just bought my french tutor seduction beads? i said, "but the little girls wear them too!" and she explained that the young girls wear beads in order to give them hips (we're talking infants and toddlers on up), but women wear them to "excite" their husbands.

oh brother.

there are some questions better left unasked.

so we're still shopping. i was searching high and low for fabric with the virgin mary (this is a very common pattern) and finally we decided to check out a boutique by one of the catholic churches. bingo. only, oddly enough, the virgin mary fabric was more expensive than the Jesus fabric. who knew? i bought the Jesus fabric. it's awesome. like Jesus.

when you put it all together, it makes for quite the eclectic shopping list.

local lovers

when i came here, i had no intentions of dating anyone from here… and that’s pretty much still true now. i mean, i am going home in about 4 weeks. plus, there are some major cultural differences that i can’t expect any man here to understand unless he’s been in the US, which is never the case. but i came pretty darn close to a bit of romance this last weekend. i figure, why not share…

ricardo is a friend from salsa. you may be wondering how a guy from benin got the name ricardo… well, because his father, who he has never met, is italian. this means ricardo is beautiful. half italian, quarter cameroonian, quarter beninois… tall, dark (though light by african standards) and handsome. he’s a male model. no, seriously, he is… as are most of the guys at salsa. it’s a very strange sub-culture at the salsa club. nothing like zoolander, though.

anyway, i guess ricardo and i have been admiring each other from a distance for a while… and only discovered this mutual admiration over the weekend. but, whoa, that doesn’t mean i want to date him, right? well, to be honest, i had to think about it. i mean, would it be soooo bad to have a fling the last few weeks i’m here? expats do that kind of thing all the time, isn’t it just part of the experience? but now… this is people we’re talking about. not play things. so, i geared myself up sunday for a little heart to heart with my favorite mulatto. somehow everything fell into place. we got away from the crowd, sat down for a little chat, shared a bit about our lives and families… and at the end of the conversation, ricardo turned to me and said (in french), “lauren, i don’t usually find white women to be attractive. i don’t even like mulatto women. but the first time i saw you, i liked you. i didn’t know you, so i distanced myself from you and watched how you interacted with others. i liked what i saw and i want to know you better. but after learning more about you and your work as a missionary, i want you to know that i respect you and will let us rest as friends. i will not try to be anything more with you.” my mouth just about hit the floor. here i’d been so afraid of how to have the, “i like you, but…” talk in french… and i didn’t have to say a word! ricardo understood it all.

so while i’ll admit i’m slightly sad that i gave up the opportunity for a little local romance, i’m also relieved to be spared the drama of a fling, knowing full well that there are better things (hopefully a man) awaiting me. thank you God.