i was a little concerned when i hadn't heard from anner this morning. i was getting ready for church, and thought maybe she had decided the blizzard ridden roads of b'more were too treacherous. i could have walked to church, i did every week when i lived here. but anner had to drive from the other side of the harbor. at 8:06am, she called, "i'm here. i'm early." of course. never doubt a girl from minnesota.
so we drove to church (after anner tried to push someone down the street by ramming their back bumper, per their request...) and found only one other person there. "guess we're not having church?" i said. "i just saw pastor, he said to go sit in the choir loft," said a woman i didn't know. and we did. maybe 20 of us in our jeans and boots walked (or squeeked, in my case) up the isle to the very front of the church, up to the choir pews, just right of the altar.
now, i have to say that this sanctuary is a special place for me. first, it's beautiful. the man that designed it was one of the 3 architects of the national cathedral, so... awesome. but it's also a place i used to have a key to when i lived here. i'd come to the church 30 minutes before our girls' book club every sunday night to get ready for the rest of the gang, sitting in the dark sanctuary, just me and the candlelight. it's a special place too because it's where, during one evening lenten service, i heard God speak into my heart: "feed My sheep..." the beginning of a call to ministry.
this morning it was special because we were just a handful of neighborhood peeps and two priest. no robes. no acolytes. we were the choir. pastor sabor, who hadn't practiced the organ since 1971, pecked out a couple of hymns. pastor fritas shared a beautiful sermon about mary's annunciation and God's knack for using ordinary people to bring Jesus to the world, something i think about often.
the whole experience was a welcome confirmation of being where i am now, and a reminder that this story i'm living is not a new one. it's a Great one.
pastor sabor put on a pot of coffee and pastor fritas tracked down some donuts so our gathering could tarry a bit longer. all in all, a beautiful morning. church at its blizzard best.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
13.1 thank you's
a while back i got this wild idea to run a half marathon (i think it started on the cruise with my girlfriends this summer, when i read an article about endurance training, and thought, huh... i've been training for things all year... but endurance... that's something new...) everyone kept telling me it's a mental challenge as much as a physical one. my girlfriend jocelita said, "maybe just think of a different person at every mile..." so i filed that little nugget away.
a month before the race, i made a list. i was going to run 13.1 miles, so i chose 13 people that had made the biggest impact on my first year in town. here's the run-down...
mile 1: aimeesita. 7.48. this was my fastest mile (downhill and pumped up). aimeesita is so many things to me, but she is always my designated hug for the day. without her, i could go a whole week hugless!
mile 2: anniebananie. 8:47. anniebananie shares my office and therefore my craziness. she listens to me whether she wants to or not. sometimes she acts like my mom, but she never gets upset with me. love!
mile 3: chip dinero. 8:42. chip dinero is my mentor. he's been there for lots of up's and down's this year. i look up to him muchisimo.
mile 4: danimal. 9:12 (pace is slowing... uphill). not only did danimal introduce me to sweet pepper bear, but he also taught me to rake leaves and he manages my fantasy football team... which is winning. most generous guy i know!
mile 5: farrellita. 8:40. farrellita intimidated me when i first met her because she is so cool. now she, her hubby and her baby are like family to me. her back porch (with a glass of wine in my hand) is probably my favorite place in town.
mile 6: hi-mey. 9:24. i met hi-mey up at farrellita's cabin last spring. we hit it off immediately. i love him so much, i introduced him to the best girl i know. and he asked her to marry him. she said yes. and there was much rejoicing.
mile 7: jocelita. 9:13. jocelita is one of the biggest cheer leaders i know. she was biking all over the course on her stylin' yellow wheels, cheering peeps on left and right. she inspires me!
mile 8: juan. 9:12. juan is my boss. i often say i want to be like all the priests i work for when i grow up, but i especially want to be like juan. he's got more wisdom and insight than peeps twice his age. and he's a tree hugger.
mile 9: julia. 9:37. julia was one of my first real girlfriends here. she taught me to ride with clipless pedals, and was there for my first fall. she later told me she was hoping to be the mile that includes the toughest hill on the course, and she was... well... half way...
mile 10: latissimus. 9:55. my slowest mile on the course. in part because it included the other half of the toughest hill, but also because i had to stop and hug hi-mey and wave to anniebananie, who were waiting on the course, cheering for me. YES! latissimus introduced me to 1/3 of the peeps i know here, drove me around the first 3 car-less months i lived here, and then taught me to drive stick when i finally did buy a car. other than dating, he's pretty much awesome
mile 11: lindensita. 9:37. lindensita's stretch of the race was actually perfect, as it's the same stretch we "speed walked" the day i told her i wanted to be a priest. she was the first friend i told... the guinea pig. and she didn't freak out! linden gets the mountain girl in me.
mile 12: maria carolina. 9:52. mi amor, mc! this chica started the monday night girls' group that has become my sacred space each week. we have some crazy similarities, meaning she makes me feel understood in a way few people can.
mile 13: sloandawg. i don't know that i actually stopped my watch when i crossed the finish. sloandawg, i think, has put up with my very worst, and she's been there for some of my best moments too. she ran my first 10k and my first triathlon with me. she lets me repeat stories over and over, and she put up with the bulk of my culture shock when i moved here. i love her. she's also engaged to hi-mey.
in the end, i finished the race in 2:00:11. my goal was to get as close to 2 hours as possible, so 11 seconds over is pretty stinkin' close! i was very pleased. and dad was standing at the finish line waiting for me with a great big hug. as were jocelita and jota.
jota is someone else i need to thank. he has made running fun, as has the whole running club.
sarita also gets a shout-out for biking all over the course to cheer me (and others) on!
lorita too, who could not be there, as she was cheering on her hubby in his first ironman race, but who coached me through every one of my long runs leading up to the race... she's one of my new favorite people. and her watch, which usually beeps at us when we run uphills, was beeping in my head, reminding me to slow up a little on those uphill stretches.
all in all, it was an epic day, i finally earned a real medal (YAY!!!), and we closed out the festivities with a dinner party for the 13 and their dates. thanks to chef dad.
thank you, thank you, thank you for all who encouraged me along the way, and especially for all who have made this town HOME to me.
a month before the race, i made a list. i was going to run 13.1 miles, so i chose 13 people that had made the biggest impact on my first year in town. here's the run-down...
 |
| From 2009 Fall |
mile 1: aimeesita. 7.48. this was my fastest mile (downhill and pumped up). aimeesita is so many things to me, but she is always my designated hug for the day. without her, i could go a whole week hugless!
mile 2: anniebananie. 8:47. anniebananie shares my office and therefore my craziness. she listens to me whether she wants to or not. sometimes she acts like my mom, but she never gets upset with me. love!
mile 3: chip dinero. 8:42. chip dinero is my mentor. he's been there for lots of up's and down's this year. i look up to him muchisimo.
mile 4: danimal. 9:12 (pace is slowing... uphill). not only did danimal introduce me to sweet pepper bear, but he also taught me to rake leaves and he manages my fantasy football team... which is winning. most generous guy i know!
mile 5: farrellita. 8:40. farrellita intimidated me when i first met her because she is so cool. now she, her hubby and her baby are like family to me. her back porch (with a glass of wine in my hand) is probably my favorite place in town.
mile 6: hi-mey. 9:24. i met hi-mey up at farrellita's cabin last spring. we hit it off immediately. i love him so much, i introduced him to the best girl i know. and he asked her to marry him. she said yes. and there was much rejoicing.
mile 7: jocelita. 9:13. jocelita is one of the biggest cheer leaders i know. she was biking all over the course on her stylin' yellow wheels, cheering peeps on left and right. she inspires me!
mile 8: juan. 9:12. juan is my boss. i often say i want to be like all the priests i work for when i grow up, but i especially want to be like juan. he's got more wisdom and insight than peeps twice his age. and he's a tree hugger.
mile 9: julia. 9:37. julia was one of my first real girlfriends here. she taught me to ride with clipless pedals, and was there for my first fall. she later told me she was hoping to be the mile that includes the toughest hill on the course, and she was... well... half way...
mile 10: latissimus. 9:55. my slowest mile on the course. in part because it included the other half of the toughest hill, but also because i had to stop and hug hi-mey and wave to anniebananie, who were waiting on the course, cheering for me. YES! latissimus introduced me to 1/3 of the peeps i know here, drove me around the first 3 car-less months i lived here, and then taught me to drive stick when i finally did buy a car. other than dating, he's pretty much awesome
mile 11: lindensita. 9:37. lindensita's stretch of the race was actually perfect, as it's the same stretch we "speed walked" the day i told her i wanted to be a priest. she was the first friend i told... the guinea pig. and she didn't freak out! linden gets the mountain girl in me.
mile 12: maria carolina. 9:52. mi amor, mc! this chica started the monday night girls' group that has become my sacred space each week. we have some crazy similarities, meaning she makes me feel understood in a way few people can.
mile 13: sloandawg. i don't know that i actually stopped my watch when i crossed the finish. sloandawg, i think, has put up with my very worst, and she's been there for some of my best moments too. she ran my first 10k and my first triathlon with me. she lets me repeat stories over and over, and she put up with the bulk of my culture shock when i moved here. i love her. she's also engaged to hi-mey.
 |
| From 2009 Fall |
in the end, i finished the race in 2:00:11. my goal was to get as close to 2 hours as possible, so 11 seconds over is pretty stinkin' close! i was very pleased. and dad was standing at the finish line waiting for me with a great big hug. as were jocelita and jota.
jota is someone else i need to thank. he has made running fun, as has the whole running club.
sarita also gets a shout-out for biking all over the course to cheer me (and others) on!
lorita too, who could not be there, as she was cheering on her hubby in his first ironman race, but who coached me through every one of my long runs leading up to the race... she's one of my new favorite people. and her watch, which usually beeps at us when we run uphills, was beeping in my head, reminding me to slow up a little on those uphill stretches.
all in all, it was an epic day, i finally earned a real medal (YAY!!!), and we closed out the festivities with a dinner party for the 13 and their dates. thanks to chef dad.
thank you, thank you, thank you for all who encouraged me along the way, and especially for all who have made this town HOME to me.
Sunday, November 01, 2009
gay soap
i'm flirting with a new soap box... can't decide if i'm ready to actually "get on" it yet, i think i've been growing into the idea for years now.
it's the gay soap box.
here's the thing. i have these really amazing friends, and they are all really good people, and sometimes they say things that hurt my feelings, not because they are mean or bad, but because they are unaware. does that translate into an opportunity for awareness? maybe.
friends of lau, let it be known, talking about gay people as if they are a different species, or using the term "gay" in a negative way, hurts lau's feelings.
chalk it up to me being over-sensitive if you like. shoot, i feel over-sensitive every time someone says something is "gay"... like... "a guy with shaved legs is gay." (that might sound odd to you, but it comes up a lot in the cycling/swimming community...) really? gay? because my dad is gay, and he definitely doesn't shave his legs. in fact, i'm pretty sure that a much higher percentage of male swimmers or male cyclists shave their legs than do male homosexuals. so why is that "gay"??
and why do my male friends, when they want to assert their own manliness as being greater than another's manliness, do they say the other man is "gay"? are gay men not manly?
can you fix a car? fix things around the house? build things? work on a farm? be a good father? because my dad can. he may wear designer jeans and tight black t-shirts, but he's also one of the manliest men i know.
so last night i was hanging out with some friends, and they started making fun of another friend, who was at a gay party. lots of "gay" banter went back and forth, not all of it negative, but i felt uncomfortable. and again, i realize i could be over-sensitive about gay-talk, but i'm kinda the opposite of sensitive most of the time, so it's hard to know how to deal. i usually just remove myself from the situation, and that's what i did last night. i told my friends goodnight, and left the gathering, trying to wrap my head around my own emotions. i texted one of my friends to let him know why i left, fearing my exit was too abrupt, at which point he texted back, "oh gosh... VERY VERY sorry. we definitely didn't mean anything by it! more just ripping on "so-and-so"... we're a pretty open-minded group." now, i love this friend, and i know that he really did feel so bad about the situation, yet his response only frustrated me more. why is suggesting someone is gay the same as "ripping" on them? why does "gay" always imply something negative? furthermore, what my friend perceives as "open-minded," i perceive as my "new norm." it's not thinking outside the box, it's real life. it's not liberal, it just is.
and yet, it's not totally my "new norm" but one i'm still growing into. it's taking time. and by no means do i expect the world to "normalize" according to my reality. but i do think my friends love me. and i don't think they hurt my feelings on purpose. and i do think these situations create opportunities to increase awareness, respect, dignity and truth. so here i go, opening my big mouth, hoping you know it comes from my big heart, and i'm grateful for everyone and everything that has brought me to this moment BIG TIME.
it's the gay soap box.
here's the thing. i have these really amazing friends, and they are all really good people, and sometimes they say things that hurt my feelings, not because they are mean or bad, but because they are unaware. does that translate into an opportunity for awareness? maybe.
friends of lau, let it be known, talking about gay people as if they are a different species, or using the term "gay" in a negative way, hurts lau's feelings.
chalk it up to me being over-sensitive if you like. shoot, i feel over-sensitive every time someone says something is "gay"... like... "a guy with shaved legs is gay." (that might sound odd to you, but it comes up a lot in the cycling/swimming community...) really? gay? because my dad is gay, and he definitely doesn't shave his legs. in fact, i'm pretty sure that a much higher percentage of male swimmers or male cyclists shave their legs than do male homosexuals. so why is that "gay"??
and why do my male friends, when they want to assert their own manliness as being greater than another's manliness, do they say the other man is "gay"? are gay men not manly?
can you fix a car? fix things around the house? build things? work on a farm? be a good father? because my dad can. he may wear designer jeans and tight black t-shirts, but he's also one of the manliest men i know.
so last night i was hanging out with some friends, and they started making fun of another friend, who was at a gay party. lots of "gay" banter went back and forth, not all of it negative, but i felt uncomfortable. and again, i realize i could be over-sensitive about gay-talk, but i'm kinda the opposite of sensitive most of the time, so it's hard to know how to deal. i usually just remove myself from the situation, and that's what i did last night. i told my friends goodnight, and left the gathering, trying to wrap my head around my own emotions. i texted one of my friends to let him know why i left, fearing my exit was too abrupt, at which point he texted back, "oh gosh... VERY VERY sorry. we definitely didn't mean anything by it! more just ripping on "so-and-so"... we're a pretty open-minded group." now, i love this friend, and i know that he really did feel so bad about the situation, yet his response only frustrated me more. why is suggesting someone is gay the same as "ripping" on them? why does "gay" always imply something negative? furthermore, what my friend perceives as "open-minded," i perceive as my "new norm." it's not thinking outside the box, it's real life. it's not liberal, it just is.
and yet, it's not totally my "new norm" but one i'm still growing into. it's taking time. and by no means do i expect the world to "normalize" according to my reality. but i do think my friends love me. and i don't think they hurt my feelings on purpose. and i do think these situations create opportunities to increase awareness, respect, dignity and truth. so here i go, opening my big mouth, hoping you know it comes from my big heart, and i'm grateful for everyone and everything that has brought me to this moment BIG TIME.
Friday, October 30, 2009
one week away from 13.1
last week i ran 10 miles with the best running partner in the world, who i'll call lorena. sadly, for me (but lucky for her hubby!) she'll be gone next weekend when i'm running my first half marathon. but her hubby will be running his first ironman, so that's a much bigger deal, and, you know, they're married. sooo....
anyway, 10 miles last week was good. it was strangely hot and muggy, on a rainy october morning, so i did something i never thought i could around mile 7.5.... i took off my shirt. now, i'm not going to go running around in my sports bra all the time, it's still not how i roll, but i will say that loosing the shirt really gave me a second wind!
because lorena knew i had big plans for dancing my face off saturday night at julia's wedding, and she knew i was going to do so in high heals (which is almost as strange for me as running shirtless), she suggested i give my legs a little ice bath. we bought some ice (i still owe you $5 lorena!) and i went up to my bathroom. here goes nothing. filled up the tub with lukewarm water, poured in 10lbs of ice, squealed a little, but stuck it out for 10 min. i think the water should have been a little colder, but i think it helped.
then it was party time. and though i brought flip-flops to change into once i got my dance on, they stayed in my purse, while i kicked it in the high heals. who is this woman in my body?? so weird. still i had a blast.
till i woke up sunday morning, not with a hangover, but with the sorest left quad ever. i could barely walk down the stairs. i figured it would feel better monday, but no.
so what did i do?
i got a massage.
my first ever male-massage from some dude named byron with really big hands. it was a little weird at first. i had to bite the inside of my cheek for the first minute or two to keep from smiling or laughing, but big-hands-byron worked his magic, and i was much more mobile when i left. whew.
went to yoga tuesday, got my butt kicked, but still felt ok on the quad.
finally ran 5 miles thursday, and my quad was a-ok.
practiced yoga again today, and i think i'm set for another 10 miles tomorrow! then it's one short run next week, lots of rest, and BOOM, i'll be a half-marathoner on saturday! assuming i finish. that's my only real goal. would love to get as close to 2 hrs as possible, but finishing and having fun is much more important.
i'm pretty excited. i can't believe i have come to like, maybe even love, running. never say never.
anyway, 10 miles last week was good. it was strangely hot and muggy, on a rainy october morning, so i did something i never thought i could around mile 7.5.... i took off my shirt. now, i'm not going to go running around in my sports bra all the time, it's still not how i roll, but i will say that loosing the shirt really gave me a second wind!
because lorena knew i had big plans for dancing my face off saturday night at julia's wedding, and she knew i was going to do so in high heals (which is almost as strange for me as running shirtless), she suggested i give my legs a little ice bath. we bought some ice (i still owe you $5 lorena!) and i went up to my bathroom. here goes nothing. filled up the tub with lukewarm water, poured in 10lbs of ice, squealed a little, but stuck it out for 10 min. i think the water should have been a little colder, but i think it helped.
then it was party time. and though i brought flip-flops to change into once i got my dance on, they stayed in my purse, while i kicked it in the high heals. who is this woman in my body?? so weird. still i had a blast.
till i woke up sunday morning, not with a hangover, but with the sorest left quad ever. i could barely walk down the stairs. i figured it would feel better monday, but no.
so what did i do?
i got a massage.
my first ever male-massage from some dude named byron with really big hands. it was a little weird at first. i had to bite the inside of my cheek for the first minute or two to keep from smiling or laughing, but big-hands-byron worked his magic, and i was much more mobile when i left. whew.
went to yoga tuesday, got my butt kicked, but still felt ok on the quad.
finally ran 5 miles thursday, and my quad was a-ok.
practiced yoga again today, and i think i'm set for another 10 miles tomorrow! then it's one short run next week, lots of rest, and BOOM, i'll be a half-marathoner on saturday! assuming i finish. that's my only real goal. would love to get as close to 2 hrs as possible, but finishing and having fun is much more important.
i'm pretty excited. i can't believe i have come to like, maybe even love, running. never say never.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
it's official
i just registered for my first half marathon.
i'd been putting it off, just in case... thinking i'd wimp out at some point. but the (sad) truth is (sad only because i'm proving myself wrong...) that i actually enjoy running now. 7 miles 2 weeks ago was hard. 8 miles a week ago was easy. 9 miles this week was fun. and even my little 5 mile runs on tuesdays and thursdays are getting faster and easier.
my peers have a lot to do with it. a few weeks ago i ran a 10k and came in 97th place. all my friends were TOP finishers. but because i had PR'd by 8 minutes (setting a new personal record that was waaaaay faster than my 10k in april) my friends cheered me on like i had won the whole thing. i felt like a champ.
and i'm meeting new people too. some girls i'd never met before are now running with me on tuesdays, which a) forces me to get out of bed, b) pushes my pace, and c) expands my social circles. my saturday running buddy is my favorite, though. she makes the time fly by!
so i'm super psyched for november 7. thinking i may even sign up for another in december. ridiculous.
i'd been putting it off, just in case... thinking i'd wimp out at some point. but the (sad) truth is (sad only because i'm proving myself wrong...) that i actually enjoy running now. 7 miles 2 weeks ago was hard. 8 miles a week ago was easy. 9 miles this week was fun. and even my little 5 mile runs on tuesdays and thursdays are getting faster and easier.
my peers have a lot to do with it. a few weeks ago i ran a 10k and came in 97th place. all my friends were TOP finishers. but because i had PR'd by 8 minutes (setting a new personal record that was waaaaay faster than my 10k in april) my friends cheered me on like i had won the whole thing. i felt like a champ.
and i'm meeting new people too. some girls i'd never met before are now running with me on tuesdays, which a) forces me to get out of bed, b) pushes my pace, and c) expands my social circles. my saturday running buddy is my favorite, though. she makes the time fly by!
so i'm super psyched for november 7. thinking i may even sign up for another in december. ridiculous.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
just a taste
i tend to live out loud. keeps me authentic. it's a lot easier to falsify aspects of life when you keep them hidden. so don't be shocked when i say on my blog (and thus on facebook) that i saw my therapist today.
i really love my rock star of a shrink, who i'll call juana. she helped me acclimate post-africa as i tried to remember my identity, and as i tried to re-learn emotions. i think she did a pretty good job. we met regularly last summer.
and we met once in january, in a moment of freaking out over how awkward my new dating relationship was, which ended shortly after. (no worries).
but i hadn't seen her since. it's not that i haven't had my ups and downs... i have. but i am a) extremely self aware, b) practical, and c) an external processor. meaning i walk into a counseling session knowing exactly how i feel, understanding why i feel that way, and i've likely processed it with several girlfriends.
the current downer: i'm lonely.
on one level, it's absolutely ridiculous. i have the most amazing friends, and lots of 'em. my social calendar is full. my work is fulfilling. life is balanced. life is good. God is great.
on another level, it makes perfect sense. there's an empty space, and it is what it is.
so when i told my boss i was in a funk (i mean, he's a priest, i can tell him anything)... he responded, "when's the last time you talked to juana?"
i said, "dude, i know why i'm lonely."
at which point he laughed and said, "oh, you do?"
"fine," i said.
and i called juana.
she pretty much said what i expected... i'm not in need of real "therapy" because it's ok to feel lonely. it's real. it's part of life. i'm aware, i'm balanced, i'm good to go.
but she did say one thing that kinda stood out... this little nugget will somehow help me cope... though i don't know how... i just know it will.
basically, i've opened myself up to loneliness. i've allowed myself to be open to love, i've put myself out there, i've been crushed and broken and hurt, but i've also opened a door that i could-not-would-not open this time last year.
in a sense, it's a good thing.
you know when you're not really hungry, but then somebody gives you a bite of a cookie, and then suddenly your stomach starts growling and you're like, 'when's dinner?!"
well that's where i am right now. i didn't know i was hungry. i had a little taste of something good, and now i'm eager for the main course.
i'm hungry, but not starving. lonely, but not desperate.
and somehow, that little juana-ism is like the sherbet they serve between courses... a pallet-cleanser of sorts. so i share it with you, free of charge. but i recommend you back it up with a strong dose of self-care if you feel you're in the same boat. laughter, prayer, exercise, acupuncture, short-term attainable goals, pedicures, mountains, dogs and best friends come to mind.
i really love my rock star of a shrink, who i'll call juana. she helped me acclimate post-africa as i tried to remember my identity, and as i tried to re-learn emotions. i think she did a pretty good job. we met regularly last summer.
and we met once in january, in a moment of freaking out over how awkward my new dating relationship was, which ended shortly after. (no worries).
but i hadn't seen her since. it's not that i haven't had my ups and downs... i have. but i am a) extremely self aware, b) practical, and c) an external processor. meaning i walk into a counseling session knowing exactly how i feel, understanding why i feel that way, and i've likely processed it with several girlfriends.
the current downer: i'm lonely.
on one level, it's absolutely ridiculous. i have the most amazing friends, and lots of 'em. my social calendar is full. my work is fulfilling. life is balanced. life is good. God is great.
on another level, it makes perfect sense. there's an empty space, and it is what it is.
so when i told my boss i was in a funk (i mean, he's a priest, i can tell him anything)... he responded, "when's the last time you talked to juana?"
i said, "dude, i know why i'm lonely."
at which point he laughed and said, "oh, you do?"
"fine," i said.
and i called juana.
she pretty much said what i expected... i'm not in need of real "therapy" because it's ok to feel lonely. it's real. it's part of life. i'm aware, i'm balanced, i'm good to go.
but she did say one thing that kinda stood out... this little nugget will somehow help me cope... though i don't know how... i just know it will.
basically, i've opened myself up to loneliness. i've allowed myself to be open to love, i've put myself out there, i've been crushed and broken and hurt, but i've also opened a door that i could-not-would-not open this time last year.
in a sense, it's a good thing.
you know when you're not really hungry, but then somebody gives you a bite of a cookie, and then suddenly your stomach starts growling and you're like, 'when's dinner?!"
well that's where i am right now. i didn't know i was hungry. i had a little taste of something good, and now i'm eager for the main course.
i'm hungry, but not starving. lonely, but not desperate.
and somehow, that little juana-ism is like the sherbet they serve between courses... a pallet-cleanser of sorts. so i share it with you, free of charge. but i recommend you back it up with a strong dose of self-care if you feel you're in the same boat. laughter, prayer, exercise, acupuncture, short-term attainable goals, pedicures, mountains, dogs and best friends come to mind.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
zip-code aristocrazy
i went shopping monday (something i loathe, but it's a must 2 or 3 times a year). as i was checking out at one store the sales clerk asked for my zip-code. i was a little surprised at how sheepish i felt when responding "55522"... why?
it just so happens that i live in my fair city's most "aristocratic" zip-code. in fact, one particular cotillion group will only let your kids attend if you live in my zip-code. ridiculous.
so when giving out my zip-code, it's hard not to follow up with, "but i promise i'm not a snob... please don't judge me!"
which is funny... because for some, to be in a homeowner in my zip is to have arrived.
and then some could care less, i suppose.
me, i get a little embarrassed. not embarrassed enough to move.
it just so happens that i live in my fair city's most "aristocratic" zip-code. in fact, one particular cotillion group will only let your kids attend if you live in my zip-code. ridiculous.
so when giving out my zip-code, it's hard not to follow up with, "but i promise i'm not a snob... please don't judge me!"
which is funny... because for some, to be in a homeowner in my zip is to have arrived.
and then some could care less, i suppose.
me, i get a little embarrassed. not embarrassed enough to move.
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
9 miles in 9 weeks
i really don't LOVE running. i put up with it, and i enjoy it at times (because i like anything outdoors) but it's not my favorite. still, i run.
and i was thinking i'd drop tri-training for the next 5 months and focus on yoga and weight training instead. i miss yoga! and it'd be especially helpful in this little process we call discernment (which i'll have to expound on later).
the thing is, though, the weather is so friggin' awesome right now. how can i be indoors?!?!
so i'm going to keep running. though i lack some motivation. what to do? create a goal. and that goal is: run a half marathon november 7.
yes, i know i only ever run 3 miles. and i did run 6 miles once in april, and it wasn't difficult to do, but i haven't run that far since. shoot, i've had no need to!
until now. now i have 9 weeks to add 9 miles to my run so i can run 12 miles.
oh, wait... i just googled half marathon distance and found it's actually 13.1 miles. so actually i have 9 weeks to add 10 miles... but 9 in 9 sounds better... so we'll just pretend.
and i was thinking i'd drop tri-training for the next 5 months and focus on yoga and weight training instead. i miss yoga! and it'd be especially helpful in this little process we call discernment (which i'll have to expound on later).
the thing is, though, the weather is so friggin' awesome right now. how can i be indoors?!?!
so i'm going to keep running. though i lack some motivation. what to do? create a goal. and that goal is: run a half marathon november 7.
yes, i know i only ever run 3 miles. and i did run 6 miles once in april, and it wasn't difficult to do, but i haven't run that far since. shoot, i've had no need to!
until now. now i have 9 weeks to add 9 miles to my run so i can run 12 miles.
oh, wait... i just googled half marathon distance and found it's actually 13.1 miles. so actually i have 9 weeks to add 10 miles... but 9 in 9 sounds better... so we'll just pretend.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
tri number two
i completed my second triathlon last weekend, with the added bonus of my mom's presence. yay, #1 fan!! she took some pictures.
here's the run down.
i finished the 750 meter open water swim in 20:02. faster than my last tri time, but i still came in 14 out of 14 in my age category. i love swimming, but i'm really not that good at it. and i'm a lot worse when i'm traveling every other week. definitely some room for improvement. the best part of coming out of the water was seeing my mom and jocelyn cheering on the shore and realizing my best friend finished right beside me.
i picked up the pace on the bike. it was a short course, only 10 miles, so it's hard to tell how it compared to the last race (which had a longer, flatter course). i finished in 34:51, 7th out of 14. i felt good about it, even though i fell off my bike on the dismount. i can never remember if i'm supposed to dismount before or after the line! so i just tipped over. oops. too bad my mom didn't get a picture!
the run was a bear. super hilly. even my "elite" triathlete friends said it was a hard 3 miles. i finished it in 30:21. boo. but not terrible. good enough.
my transition times were faster this time around.
making my total time 1:28:43. i threw my arms up in triumph, hootin' and hollerin' as i crossed the finish. it was a really great day. thanks for being there, mom!
here's the run down.
i finished the 750 meter open water swim in 20:02. faster than my last tri time, but i still came in 14 out of 14 in my age category. i love swimming, but i'm really not that good at it. and i'm a lot worse when i'm traveling every other week. definitely some room for improvement. the best part of coming out of the water was seeing my mom and jocelyn cheering on the shore and realizing my best friend finished right beside me.
i picked up the pace on the bike. it was a short course, only 10 miles, so it's hard to tell how it compared to the last race (which had a longer, flatter course). i finished in 34:51, 7th out of 14. i felt good about it, even though i fell off my bike on the dismount. i can never remember if i'm supposed to dismount before or after the line! so i just tipped over. oops. too bad my mom didn't get a picture!
the run was a bear. super hilly. even my "elite" triathlete friends said it was a hard 3 miles. i finished it in 30:21. boo. but not terrible. good enough.
my transition times were faster this time around.
making my total time 1:28:43. i threw my arms up in triumph, hootin' and hollerin' as i crossed the finish. it was a really great day. thanks for being there, mom!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
outdoorsy girl
today i took some of my middle school kids to a theme park. three girls rode over in my car, singing to my adele cd.
suddenly, the girl in the front seat turned to me and said, “do you climb?”
“errr, yeah… i do like to climb, actually… why?”
“you just look like an outdoorsy kind of girl.”
“why is that?”
“your chocos, your watch, your climbing bracelet…”
“that bracelet is from africa. it’s not a climbing thing.”
one of the girls in the back, sporting mark jacobs sun glasses, piped in, “it’s true. you look outdoorsy. it’s not my look, but i think it’s cool.”
even after cutting 8 inches off my “hippie” hair, my kids seem to think i’ve still got some crunch.
suddenly, the girl in the front seat turned to me and said, “do you climb?”
“errr, yeah… i do like to climb, actually… why?”
“you just look like an outdoorsy kind of girl.”
“why is that?”
“your chocos, your watch, your climbing bracelet…”
“that bracelet is from africa. it’s not a climbing thing.”
one of the girls in the back, sporting mark jacobs sun glasses, piped in, “it’s true. you look outdoorsy. it’s not my look, but i think it’s cool.”
even after cutting 8 inches off my “hippie” hair, my kids seem to think i’ve still got some crunch.
costa rica
last week i went to costa rica with a group of 17 (11 kids, 6 adults) peeps from my church. we spent most of our time in san jose, the capital, working on the diocesan house (which is essentially home base for the regional episcopal churches).
it was a great time. we worked our tails off, plastering, sanding, sealing and painting walls, cleaning up our innumerable messes, gardening, and working (and playing) at hogar escuela, one of our pet projects. hogar escuela is a safe place for children to play and learn. it is a nursery, a school and an after school program. the children there typically live with their mothers, and know no father. if it weren’t for hogar escuela, these kids would be left to the streets during the day while their mothers worked to make ends meet. the streets are not a safe place to be.
hogar escuela started 45 years ago with only 6 families. several years ago, it was almost shut down, bankrupt and in ill repair. with a little help from the church and a lot of dedication from the families in san jose, hogar escuela is now one of the top ranked schools in costa rica (maybe the top ranked school?) and a favorite place for us to visit.
the episcopal diocese is about to build another school and daycare center like hogar escuela, just outside the worst slum in san jose, guarari. there, families live in corrugated tin lean-tos. most have come over illegally from nicaragua, where conditions are even worse. i look forward to returning to costa rica in years to come to see the school’s progress.
our lighter moments in costa rica were spent eating, drumming, singing, salsa dancing, watching the premier of harry potter, playing LOTS of games, zip-lining through trees, and chillin on the beach. we came home with stronger relationships, different perspectives, fun memories, inside jokes, new priorities, and a hunger for more of what God has to offer and asks us to offer of ourselves.
it was a great time. we worked our tails off, plastering, sanding, sealing and painting walls, cleaning up our innumerable messes, gardening, and working (and playing) at hogar escuela, one of our pet projects. hogar escuela is a safe place for children to play and learn. it is a nursery, a school and an after school program. the children there typically live with their mothers, and know no father. if it weren’t for hogar escuela, these kids would be left to the streets during the day while their mothers worked to make ends meet. the streets are not a safe place to be.
hogar escuela started 45 years ago with only 6 families. several years ago, it was almost shut down, bankrupt and in ill repair. with a little help from the church and a lot of dedication from the families in san jose, hogar escuela is now one of the top ranked schools in costa rica (maybe the top ranked school?) and a favorite place for us to visit.
the episcopal diocese is about to build another school and daycare center like hogar escuela, just outside the worst slum in san jose, guarari. there, families live in corrugated tin lean-tos. most have come over illegally from nicaragua, where conditions are even worse. i look forward to returning to costa rica in years to come to see the school’s progress.
our lighter moments in costa rica were spent eating, drumming, singing, salsa dancing, watching the premier of harry potter, playing LOTS of games, zip-lining through trees, and chillin on the beach. we came home with stronger relationships, different perspectives, fun memories, inside jokes, new priorities, and a hunger for more of what God has to offer and asks us to offer of ourselves.
ireland
finally… the long awaited (and highly abbreviated) synopsis of our pilgrimage to ireland.
every year, as part of our 10th grade sunday school curriculum at church, a group of teenagers and teachers depart on pilgrimage together. it is a unique opportunity to leave the rhythms, rigors and routines of home behind. to come away, together, to a foreign land. to explore our surroundings and ourselves, and to draw closer to God and one another throughout our journey. it’s pretty awesome.
this year 37 young pilgrims and 6 slightly older pilgrims spent 10 days traveling around western ireland. you might think it’s impossible to have any kind of meaningful community with 43 people--i was definitely concerned. before i left for ireland, my boss (and head priest) asked what i was looking forward to most in leading this pilgrimage. having never lead a pilgrimage before, i told him i was looking forward to the things i knew i’d have no control over… the moments of grace. he said, “so… you’re basically excited about everything.” “yep,” i said, “i’m pretty psyched.” that was certainly the case with the community forged during our trip. it was nothing any of us could have controlled or planned for, and God’s grace was hugely evident as a result. again, pretty awesome.
so what did we do? we explored castles and forts. we walked around abbeys and cemeteries, thinking (and writing) about how we would want to be remembered. we hiked 4 miles along the cliffs of moher, mere inches from 800-foot drops to the rocky shore below, contemplating the sheer greatness of God, and how it makes us a little nervous and draws us closer all at once. we played golf (the monastery where we stayed had a pitch and put course). we bought loads of groceries and cooked meals for one other (iron chef style), we served and cleaned up after one other. we hiked up crough patrick, the second hardest climb i’ve ever done, in part because of the hail that rained down on us as we summated the slippery shale incline. we traveled to the smallest of the aran islands, a place called inisheer. we visited pubs and listened to irish music. some of our kids met up with local kids and went to an irish dance. we worshiped together in some really holy places, most memorable for me being kevin’s church, which is covered by sand every year, and every year dug out by the islanders on june 13. we shared ourselves in a way we will likely never share again, crying and laughing in spaces made safe by God’s presence. really, it was awesome.
i came home very exhausted, because really, it was a lot of work. but i also came home renewed, because really, it’s fun to watch God work.
every year, as part of our 10th grade sunday school curriculum at church, a group of teenagers and teachers depart on pilgrimage together. it is a unique opportunity to leave the rhythms, rigors and routines of home behind. to come away, together, to a foreign land. to explore our surroundings and ourselves, and to draw closer to God and one another throughout our journey. it’s pretty awesome.
this year 37 young pilgrims and 6 slightly older pilgrims spent 10 days traveling around western ireland. you might think it’s impossible to have any kind of meaningful community with 43 people--i was definitely concerned. before i left for ireland, my boss (and head priest) asked what i was looking forward to most in leading this pilgrimage. having never lead a pilgrimage before, i told him i was looking forward to the things i knew i’d have no control over… the moments of grace. he said, “so… you’re basically excited about everything.” “yep,” i said, “i’m pretty psyched.” that was certainly the case with the community forged during our trip. it was nothing any of us could have controlled or planned for, and God’s grace was hugely evident as a result. again, pretty awesome.
so what did we do? we explored castles and forts. we walked around abbeys and cemeteries, thinking (and writing) about how we would want to be remembered. we hiked 4 miles along the cliffs of moher, mere inches from 800-foot drops to the rocky shore below, contemplating the sheer greatness of God, and how it makes us a little nervous and draws us closer all at once. we played golf (the monastery where we stayed had a pitch and put course). we bought loads of groceries and cooked meals for one other (iron chef style), we served and cleaned up after one other. we hiked up crough patrick, the second hardest climb i’ve ever done, in part because of the hail that rained down on us as we summated the slippery shale incline. we traveled to the smallest of the aran islands, a place called inisheer. we visited pubs and listened to irish music. some of our kids met up with local kids and went to an irish dance. we worshiped together in some really holy places, most memorable for me being kevin’s church, which is covered by sand every year, and every year dug out by the islanders on june 13. we shared ourselves in a way we will likely never share again, crying and laughing in spaces made safe by God’s presence. really, it was awesome.
i came home very exhausted, because really, it was a lot of work. but i also came home renewed, because really, it’s fun to watch God work.
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