first 5k

race for the cure was saturday and team chicksspeak had a blast. this was my first 5k and i hadn't run 3+ miles since high school, but it's surprisingly easy when everyone around you is so fired up. it was especially cool to run alongside men and women with signs "in celebration of" or "in memory of" a mom, sister or friend pinned to their backs. helps to give you a sense of purpose on a cold morning. pictured are anna, me, christina, jess and kim.

reviving ray

ray, the wonder fish, needed a change of water this morning. i always give ray the freshest of spring water, but opted for tap water today... thinking the resilient little guy could handle the change. apparently not. i looked up from my computer just minutes after the water change and found poor little ray resting on the rocks of his bowl, looking sad and distressed. ray never rests, so i knew this was an emergency. my coworkers flooded my office, very concerned for what has become the mea mascot. but i knew what ray needed. not tap water. so i grabbed some bottled water from the kitchen (meant for mea guests) and made the switch as quickly as possible. he made a speedy recovery and we're all pleased to see ray swimming along as happily as ever. (susan, i know this story will bring a little tear to your eye).

goats

i met a lady who was in benin this summer and she gave me a cd full of pictures. this is one of my favorites. this car is totally loaded with live goats. goats are tied up and piled into the back of the car and tied to the top of the car as well. my guess is this makes for a very loud and stinky drive to the market (or wherever). i will not tie live goats to my moped.

turkey in hawaii

i'm going to hawaii for turkey day... because the answer to last minute travel (especially to exotic destinations) is always yes. as you know, there was an eathquake this weekend. the damage incurred to the estate where i'll be staying is pictured above. my sources tell me no lives were lost.

sunday sailing

bob and anna (pictured) and i went sailing sunday. it was the best day of sailing i've ever had.

a) the company was great. bob has a knack for teaching me things without me realizing that i'm learning. anna has a way of saying things that makes me just want to sit and listen.

b) the weather was perfect. the sun was shining, the skies were clear, the breeze was good. considering it's october, i was relieved we didn't have to wear gloves and ear muffs. though i DID jump in the water... and jump back out about as quickly. COLD!

c) this was the first time i really got to sail (other times have been marked by a lack of wind). it was fun, but also a little scary. at one point i was absolutely sure we were about to tip over. bob and anna both smiled at me calmly as i looked at them with my mouth gaping open, thinking 'holy ****!" it was awesome.

peace out

roohi was playing sly photographer sunday and snagged this shot. it was a perfect afternoon for reading and thinking with my toes in the cool grass and sun all around. i love fed hill.

i wrote to yfc today and accepted the invitation to join their missionary staff. this past week as i've prayed and pondered... i've been waiting for some decisive moment to direct me one way or another. what i found instead was that the answer was already inside me and i just needed time to grow into it. so no lightning bolt revelations, just peaceful self awareness. it's a good thing.

cotonou

though i'm giving myself just a few more days to think and pray about it, i've pretty much come to a peaceful decision to move to benin west africa this summer. i will be living (for 2 years?) in the coastal city of cotonou, pictured here. i have more pics i'll post later. if you have any thoughts on my decision, speak now or forever hold your peace.

more on work

while i'm on the topic of the gov, i thought i'd post this link to the commercial our office did two years back. lucky for me, it's no longer on the air waves... but we keep it on our website for your viewing pleasure. "really?" you need quicktime to view it. mike doesn't know it yet, but crissy (from my office) and i are going to crash the talk he's giving at university of maryland today. we turned down wearing jeans on a rainy friday for this. that's dedication. putting hyperlinks in posts is fun.

change the world

yesterday was the kick off for energy star's "change a light, change the world" campaign. the idea is to encourage consumers to change at least one bulb in their home to a compact fluorescent lightbulb (call 'em cfl's if you want to sound like you're in the know) which use a lot less energy. so you save money ($30 over the lifetime of the bulb) and save energy which is good for our economy and our environment. i'd give you stats, but you can find them by clicking here and pledging to change a light in your home. we did a little event at home depot with the gov and epa. good times...

holy harley

last week i went to denver for missionary candidate school. it was great to see those colorado blue skies and snow capped mountains. the weather was perfect and i took several naps on the grass (because naps in the grass are almost as soothing to my soul as naps in a hammock).

both the leaders with youth for christ (yfc) and the other candidates were truly amazing people. i wasn't really sure what to expect, but i can now say these are people i care a lot about. so... will i be a missionary? on my way to benin? good question. first yfc has to invite me, then i have to respond. there's a lot to think/pray about between now and then. but i at least know that i won't be leaving before june, so yes, that means i'll finish my degree at st. john's first. mark your calendars for may 19 for a hot graduation in annapolis.

one of the cool things about colorado is that you don't have to wear a helmet. maybe that's not cool if you crash, but i enjoyed riding around on royal's harley with the wind in my face and hair. ahhh... even more refreshing than my convertible. which brings me to the point of transportation in benin. one of the things i had to budget for was a moped. personally, i think that's way cool. if you come visit, i'll take you for a spin. on my moped.

odds and ends

i apologize for the sporadic posting of late, but between work, school, interviews at divinity schools and getting ready for missionary candidate school next week... something has to give.

i leave for denver sunday and will be there all week. super psyched. when i return, i should have a much better sense of whether i'm cut out to be a missionary and whether benin is my next home. exciting, eh?

the only slightly entertaining occurrence this week was a potentially awkward situation at church. my brother thought it was pretty ridiculous, so i'll share the story... realizing all parties involved will figure out i blogged about them after the fact... and i'm trusting they'll be okay with that.

so, you know, there's the guy i dated this summer that was party to my earlier trip to the hospital. we'll call him mike. and there's the guy i went on that blindish date with that almost got mugged. we'll call him bob. mike and i are still best buddies because we're weird like that. bob and i still hang out because we're cool like that.

my church did this great class wednesday night on freud vs. c.s. lewis on sex and happiness. my pastor is a fun teacher, and mike and i had planned in advance to go to the class. my friend carolyn (the match maker) was also going to meet us at the class and mentioned it to bob. i seconded her invite. i loooove inviting people to church. based on my average invitation acceptance rate, i didn't actually expect bob to go, especially on short notice. the invitation was sincere, though, as always. indeed, bob said he couldn't go. but carolyn called as i was heading out the door to meet mike to say that actually, yes, bob would be there. soooo. mike, meet bob. bob, meet mike. not that big of a deal since both peeps are so chill, but sitting in between the two while my pastor talked about sex was not exactly my idea of the most comfortable situation.

and that's my story.

sad steelers

these steelers fans are sad. loss of game and loss of colly. :(

adventures in atl

two things about atl:
1. transportation sucks
2. people are lovely

so my flight landed at 7pm last night and i took the marta into town, flagged a cab, and asked the guy to take me to clifton apartments. "at emory?" yeah. great conversation... super friendly guy. talked all about benin and learned a lot. but once we got to emory he looks at me for some direction. uh, you're the cab driver that lives here and knows where to go, right? wrong. luckily some super friendly freshmen said they could point me in the right direction and give me a map! yay! oh, silly frosh. unintentionally misleading. they eagerly take me back to the dorm, hand me a map and highlight the path i should take. so efficient. i get to my supposed destination only to find that they've sent me to clifton tower, which is not apartments... it's the student health center. shoot. i recall learning at an early age that when you're lost it's best to stay put. so i called my friend and host graham (who was busy playing/coaching in a very important softball game, hence my need for a cab in the first place) and left a message saying "i'm on a bench outside the public health building... come find me when the game is over." luckily it was a nice night. kinda well lit. safe enough. i came home and crashed.

next morning (this morning) graham dropped me off at candler (by the way i'm in atlanta looking at divinity schools, forgot to mention that) at 6:45 on his way to work at the hospital. my appointment was at 8:15. did i mention i was tired? but actually it was cool watching the sun come up and i felt pretty good about life over all.

great visit. great class. love the school.

part 2 was a visit at columbia theological seminary, which is only 5 miles from candler. no biggie. i take the emory shuttle to the bus station and call a cab. after about 15 minutes (at least i got some sun) i called columbia to say i was waiting for a cab, and didn't think it would show. what is it with cabs in atl?!?! a sweet little lady in the admissions office came and picked me up (like i said, lovely people) and i had yet another great visit.

luckily, the guy in columbia's development office is a wlu grad (and thus a gentleman, of course) and offered to drive me home after my interview... so no travel woes there.

and now i'm ready for a nap. and some time to actually catch up with my dear friend.

come to atl. enjoy the people. avoid the cabs.

ps emily saliers' (of indigo girls) dad taught my class this morning, and opened it in prayer. how cool is that?

top secret update

i realize there is a risk in posting this, but i'm trusting none of you will call my boss and give him the news. after all, it's not really news yet. just potential news.

i've applied for 3 jobs in benin (hence the previous post where i failed to mention that benin is next to nigeria too... not just togo). one position would be training adults on job search skills, one would be training village women on health and hygiene, and one would be training students on HIV/AIDS. the latter two are my faves because i love working with women and students.

so i had my phone interview yesterday, which amounted to a very cool, comfortable and exciting conversation. i think we all felt good about it. i have been tentatively invited to candidate school in denver in two weeks (pending my references) and that too is very cool. not only will i get to see my friend mollie (holla!), but i'll also get to meet people that are passionate about the same things i love, and i know i will learn a lot about myself and this particular ministry. what's been truly amazing is all the support from friends, family, school, work (the few peeps that know), my church... the list goes on. it's hard not to get too excited and put the cart before the horse. in my head i'm already packing.

but there is a down side to all this... and that's leaving my friends behind. granted, that's a long ways off and may not even happen. but i at least wanted to let you all know that i do think about how hard that would be.

so that's the scoop! (hope that answers your comment, michael).

benin or bust?

benin west africa is a small country (42,710 sq miles) on the coast next to togo. it has a population of 7,400,000 people who speak french (officially), fon, yoruba and other languages. religions practiced include animism and voodoo (50%), christianity (30%) and islam (20%). check out this house... it's like a castle hut. sign me up.

birthday bro

it's a little belated... but i didn't blog on labor day, and yesterday i was clearly preoccupied. i did sing on monday, though. this def deserves a posting since my littlest bro is now 20... holy crap!

happy birthday little bro!
happy birthday hermanito!
happy birthday mr. pierce!!!!
happy birthday toooo yooouuuu!!!!

drama

sometimes i think my life is more dramatic than the average joe (or jane), to the point where i often ask myself if perhaps i'm creating my own drama. but usually it's out of my control. i'll take responsibility for some, but not all. this weekend was highly dramatic, and not on account of my own doing.

so i went on a blind-ish date friday night. my good friend (and her MOM) set it up, so i felt pretty safe... though this was the first blind-ish date i'd ever been on. now, before you go jumping to conclusions, let me just go ahead and say that the drama is neither a product of the guy. in fact, the guy is pretty darn cool. and let me also say that i'm safe, so no worries there. here's how it went down...

blind-date-bob and i were hanging out sunday night in his neighborhood, not far from my neighborhood. we'd been listening to live irish tunes and enjoying the local color. totally chill, totally normal evening. it was late, so bob walked me to my car. i then drove him back to his house, with the top down (convertible) because the weather was perfect. we were sitting in my car in front of his house when some random dude walked up and looked at us both. bob acknowledged his presence and then we looked at each other like, 'what's that guy's deal?' the guy then walked to the back of my car, called someone on his cell, described my car (including my plates!) and hung up the phone. strange, yes. THEN the guy walked to the passenger side of the car, reached over the window (remember, the top is down) and starts punching bob in the face!!! WHAT?! i started screaming and was too stunned to do anything for about 5 seconds, then realized my car was in drive, pressed the accelerator and drove off. my-heart-was-racing. bob was fine... the guy really didn't have a good angle trying to punch from over the car. still, i was scared. (am scared). we circled the block, i dropped bob off, got home safely, etc.

in hindsight, clearly i should have called the cops. no worries, i'm reporting it tonight when i get home. another lesson learned, don't drive around b'more with the top down at night. i think i'll feel better after talking to the po-po, but in the mean time i am quite shaken.

chastity is for lovers

at least that's what the bumper sticker on this pickup truck claims... and i tend to agree. that's actually our topic for bible study this fall. sorry, no boys allowed.

i'll probably say more on the subject at phos in the coming weeks.

my new baby

it's been about two weeks, but i didn't post the news because i was waiting on a pic to show you the latest object of my affection. meet lucinda. (that would be the guitar... the guy hiding behind the guitar would be adam... you can't hide from the blog, dude.)

i shopped for a guitar earlier this summer, but nothing clicked. after returning from karachi, the need for my own instrument grew ever pressing. i was a woman on a mission. mike came along for moral support, which i really needed. we walked in and spotted a few options, though i was too intimidated to play while some old guy rocked out on slide guitar close by. i was off to a rough start. then a sales clerk walked up and offered to play for me so i could listen for the tone i was looking for. i explained that i wanted a small body guitar, but not so small that it sounded brassy. he was very helpful and found several that i was okay with. then, he handed me lucinda. she was beautiful. she fit in my arms perfectly. her deep tone went straight to my heart. reluctantly, i looked at the price. totally in my range... on the lower end of my range, even. that's when i took a closer look and found she looked pretty worn on the back and neck. just love marks. nothing that would jeopardize the musicality of the instrument. i asked the handy sales clerk if he could throw in a case? yes. strap? yes. chord? yes. picks? yes. can i choose my own color of picks? yes. can mike have one too? yes. can i have a moment alone? okay. we called erin and brian for back-up, who checked online to confirm this was indeed a good deal. fully confident, i handed the sales clerk my card and brought lucinda home. no buyer's remorse. just true love. one step closer to being on stage... kidding. or not.

sticky stealth

i left my camera at home, so you'll have to wait for weekend pics and updates. but i'm sitting at work and just watched this huge cicada get caught in a spider web. it's amazing how something 5 times the size of a spider can get stuck in something thinner than hair. ooh ooh! the spider just tried to jump onto the bug! it's like discovery channel live.

slings are cool

erin took this pic for me today. it's like glamor shots for the wounded.

cheerleading & churches

first off, i hope you can appreciate the time it will take me to write this post considering i only have the use of one hand. last night the cupcakes played their final (losing) game of the season against a very legit opponent. after the game i was walking home with a fellow team member (who actually broke up with me recently, and i only mention that to give you a sense of how awkward the situation really was) and we stopped to look at a church that's for sale. no, that's not random... there are good reasons for buying churches. for instance, to start one. anyway, we could only see through the basement windows into the kitchen and i wanted to know what the sanctuary looked like. having been a cheerleader for all of one year in high school (go cats!) i got the bright idea to lift said friend as if doing a stunt. (i did not at this point tell him that this particular stunt usually uses 3 people... details.) he wasn't really committed to it and kept falling back from laughter. so we switched positions and he tried to lift me. i actually did get to the window ledge before crashing down onto a stump with my forearm. oops. ow. OW. shoot. we went home, put it on ice, and decided some x-rays might be necessary. my roommate's beau who breaks stuff all the time seemed to think this would be a fun adventure for me and my friend, at which point i reminded him of the aforementioned break up and that spending time together wasn't such a walk in the park at this point. so my friend, who was legitimately caring and concerned, took me to the dr. lots of quality time. and i don't want you to think i was miserable. this is someone i've been friends with for years, and i was scared and thus glad to have him there. but still. he also hurt me. the x-rays showed no breaks, and my very goofy dr (i had to look down to keep from laughing at him) tells me i'm just extremely "contused and abbrased." who talks like that? i'm just supposed to rest it and ice it the next few days, and i have a nifty sling. i have been writing for 45 minutes now. ridiculous. but the lady that x-rayed me said she had never heard such a story, so i thought i should share it with you too.

in training, ha!

so i've joined www.chicksspeak.com's team for race for the cure. if you're not familiar with chicksspeak, you should definitely check it out. my bold roomie christina founded this amazing website for college women and i'm super proud of her. and chicksspeak has started a team for race for the cure in baltimore, which will be held october 21. it's a 5k event. nothing major, right? right. unless your personal trainer has sworn you off running after asking, "do you want to have any cartilage at age 40?" um, yes. so no running... but this is for a good cause! an exception must be made. of course, i can't expect to be able to run a 5k right off the bat... so i decided to run 2 miles today and give it a shot. not bad. the view was definitely worth it. running along the harbor at 6:30am when no one else is out but other (far superior) runners is like a little slice of heaven to start your day. the nasty harbor water looks so pretty at sunrise. anyway, i made it. i survived. though i really wish they had water stops. being thirsty while standing next to a large body of water is not easy. i think i'll only risk my poor little knees once a week till the race. that should be sufficient. if you want to support me and make a donation, click on the post title and it *should* take you to my site. muchas gracias.

fotdl iv

first one to die loses part iv

i have some pretty creative friends, but this is ridiculous. the only man brave enough to make it to farhan's wedding, joost, is featured in this clip as "the don." note that this is part iv, so yes, there is much more "fotdl" footage to be had at http://www.firstonetodieloses.org.uk/ if you're hungry for more. and how could you not be? it's taking the uk by storm... gripping. truly.

addendum

eric's blog on this is far superior. click the 3 dots above for a more comprehensive recap.

yeah cupcakes

the magnolia cupcakes were a force to be reckoned with last night. we weren't sure what to expect at the beach volleyball play-offs after a season of ups and downs. i'm not sure the organizers had a clue what they were doing either. we played like crap our first game against a team we already had some history with (ie: full contact volleyball). but the cupcakes rallied to dominate the next 3 teams, putting us in the finals for next week. eric gets the mvp award. we celebrated like any magnolia cupcake would, with a trip to mcdonalds.

me next

the valima was held the night after the shaadi. traditionally, this is an islamic ceremony celebrating the consummation of the marriage. these days nobody actually verifies anything of the sort, but the party goes on. afterward, farhan's uncle arranged for a boat ride, which i thought was quite romantic. just look at these two! farhan's parents can arrange a marriage for me any day...

the big day

even though farhan and roohi were married and could actually look each other in the eye and talk face to face, their actual wedding, or shaadi, was two days later. i missed this too as my inexplicable karachi illness caused me to pass out and fun things like that. staying home was not so bad, as helena too was ill and together we were tasked with preparing the wedding room... or as we called it, the love nest. farhan's sister gave us a bag of rose petals and instructed us on how to sprinkle the petals all around the wedding bed. i kid you not! we did our job well. it wouldn't surprise me if i was asked back to karachi to prepare other wedding rooms in the near future... (ehem, urooj...)

back to pakistan

after farhan's nika ceremony, joost, helena, zoe and i escaped town and drove about an hour southwest (i think) to the shore. we spent some time in a fishing community with men working on beautiful boats. we even stayed for tea, which was delicious. this was probably one of the least touristy places near karachi one could find (not that there are lots of western tourists anyway) and i was loving it.

some of the men and women use henna in their hair to give it a red color. in this case, the fisherman was likely trying to emulate one of the prophets. at least that's my guess. some men wear beards to be like certain prophets as well. if you're following a prophet closely, you apparently follow his grooming habits as well.

unfortunately, this was the day i started getting pretty ill. i don't know if it was the heat or the food or what... but i completely lost my appetite and ate nothing but tea and crackers for the next two days. sadly, i missed two of farhan and roohi's ceremonies because of it. here is a pic of roohi at the mehendi (henna) party. talk about glowing! wish i had been there. instead i was at (farhan's) home writing letters and listing to podcasts.

birthday break

i've been mia for a week, but for good reason. lau's birthday season is in full force. this calls for a break from the karachi chronicles, which will recommence shortly.

the birthday shenanigans began friday night with a federal hill style block party. tons of peeps joined in to celebrate 4 birthdays, an engagement, a housewarming... lots of reasons to party it up. i only got to see about 1/4 of the people there, so i'm sorry if you attended and i missed you. here's a pic of me, tim and carolyn. note: i chopped my hair off.

the fun continued saturday with a retreat at northbay (on maryland/delaware border) complete with my first ropes course experience. even though i'm scared of heights, i totally got a kick out of playing in the trees way up off the ground. i did get some major rope burn that looks absolutely disgusting on the back of my leg, but i think i fared pretty well otherwise. i will say my arms felt like jello the following day. i wonder what happens when you fall...

sunday i went to lex for some emergency tlc (family is goooood) and some much needed time spent reading and napping in the hammock on dad's porch. it rained monday and tuesday mornings. hammock + rain + book + mountains = heaven on earth. monday i was thrilled to spend some time with college mentor laura and college pastor bill. monday night my favorite prof eduardo and his lovely family joined us for birthday dinner. my bro pierce also dropped in after learning i had snuck into town. pictured is eduardo's daughter eliana getting kisses from our puppy anna belle.

tuesday i made the trek back to b'more feeling a bit more like myself, though a year older of course. farhan and roohi are back stateside, so they took me to dinner... followed by yummy homemade birthday cake at brian and erin's place. i know everyone thinks they have good friends, but mine are really the best.

farhan seals the deal

farhan's nika was on a hot monday morning at this lovely mosque not too far from his house. the nika ceremony is when the bride and groom sign the marriage contract. farhan went into the mosque a single man, and walked out a married man.

the women and men are separated in the mosque. we all gathered in one room with roohi, who seemed pretty calm about the whole thing. she's super cool. the ceremony began and her dad and an attorney and a religious leader walked in and read the marriage contract to roohi, which she agreed to. the men walked out, went to farhan and said a bunch of things in arabic that i couldn't understand, and then farhan too agreed to the contract. presto-change-oh... the two are married! farhan was then brought into the room with all the women where he sat next to roohi and the two of them had to do a number of things. in this picture they're both covered and then they look into a mirror to see each others reflection. this is supposed to be the first way they see one another, but of course that wasn't really the case. anyway, it was a nice touch. what people couldn't see was that the newly weds were actually playing footsie in the mosque... ah! like i said, roohi is super cool.

so while all of this is very exciting, i was having a little pity party for myself. i typically cry at weddings, and this was no different. but this time my tears were in part because it became very real to me that i was going to have to share farhan with someone else! i mean, i'm a sharing person... and technically i've been sharing farhan all along. but he's like my brother. and you know how that familial bond is a little different. plus, this was the onset of my paki illness, though i didn't realize it at the time. so yeah. while i'm smiling in this pic, there was a lot of pouting going on too. i'm just being honest. the bonus, of course, is that i get to chill with roohi now too... which makes it all worthwhile. not that this is about me...

sunday market

it was tough to get out of the house and do any shopping since farhan's family was clearly preoccupied with all the planning that goes along with two weddings. fortunately some family friends offered to take us around. i think farhan's family was a little nervous because the city had shut down the previous day from riots and fires following the death and funeral of the shia priest that was bombed days before (a pizza hut and a petrol station were both burned down near some of the events we were attending), but joost, zoe and i felt plenty safe with our trusty driver asef (not to be confused with arzoo's husband asef).

first we went to the sunday market near the arabian sea. before we could even stop the car children swarmed around begging to carry our things for us. one urdu phrase i used a lot was "nahiin chehia" for "i don't want..." (i'm sure i spelled that wrong). the market was open air, but with fabric tarps tied together for shade. i did more people watching than anything, though i did manage to haggle with some men over a few items. buying food from steet vendors is always a no-no, but the roasted corn seemed safe enough. corn kernels were mixed with coarse sand which sped up the cooking i think. the sand was then sifted out and the corn was seasoned and hot and yummy. great afternoon treat.

after leaving the market, our driver overheard zoe, joost and i plotting on ways to escape the house to see more of the city. eager to please his foreign patrons, asef turned to ask if we had a camera handy. we asked where he was taking us, but he just put a finger to his lips indicating our destination was a secret. after an always adventurous ride (the traffic in karachi is worse than south america and (according to joost) africa), asef parked the car outside a mosque and signaled for us to follow. as we walked to the entrance we saw the mosque was actually much larger than it appeared from the road. we took off our shoes and entered karachi's largest mosque, the white-marbled masjid-e-tooba. its single dome is simple, elegant, and supposedly the largest of its kind in the world. asef turned to us and asked, "you happy?" yes. very happy indeed.

arzoo's shaldi

after days of ceremonies and preparation, the time had come for arzoo's nika and shaldi. the nika is when the marriage contract is actually signed. this occurs without the bride and groom even seeing each other. after the contract is signed, the bride is brought to the groom, sits beside him, looking down the entire night (acting bashful is key... i had to tease arzoo into looking up at me for this picture), and receiving guests until the time comes to leave with the groom, and only then do the two get to know each other. okay, asef and arzoo had been talking on the phone for 8 months, but still!

because this was such a special night, all farhan's female friends wore saris. putting on a sari is no easy task... nor is walking around in one. baby steps are crucial. i loved it, though. i would definitely wear a sari to any formal event. they look so regal. if only i had a torch and a crown, i could have been a pakistani statue of liberty. note the henna and the bangles. the bangles are glass bracelets, and it's common to break one (or 4) when putting them on or taking them off. you can also slice your hand if you're not careful. i had to use lots of soap and farhan's mom and sisters would fold my hands in ways i didn't think possible.

sad day

the day of the shaldi (the actual wedding ceremony) the family has a very special tradition. the parents dress up in their old wedding clothes, celebrating their own marriage. then their child to be wed sits on the mother's lap to be given away. this can be a very sad and happy moment all at once, but i was mostly sad when farhan carried arzoo in and placed her on his mother's lap. arzoo's shaldi meant she was leaving the house to live with her husband's family, and i felt like she was leaving me too. i was also just so scared because i knew so little about her husband asef who i had yet to meet. we did a lot of crying. farhan's dad was all smiles and laughing the whole time, but farhan's mom grieved the loss of her child. my heart was breaking for her and for the family.

after the ceremony we snapped a group shot of farhan's foreign friends and family. joost (a dutch man living in london), naqi (farhan's dad), me, rahana (farhan's mom), zoe (a swiss and swedish chick who came from belgium), helena (a spanish chick living in london), urooj (farhan's younger sister) and farhan. farhan's dad told everyone we foreigners were his kids from his previous marriage :-)

fun with henna

after 2 days of non-stop wedding ceremony fun, we had a 2 day hiatus from the festivities. kinda. we still had parties to attend, but of a purely social nature. farhan's high school buds helena, zoe and joost trickled in from their respective countries to join the wedding throng. we were fast friends. after their arrivals, we had a slight scare. a suicide bomber killed a shia priest about 10 minutes from our house. but really, no trip to pakistan would be complete with a little bomb scare, right? it barely made the news back home, but we let our loved ones know we were okay just in case. i was having clothes fitted that day and could barely get this top to fit over my head. or you could consider it a scare tactic.

meanwhile, as we endured what we gingerly termed "house arrest," we took turns getting henna on our hands. before the wedding, the bride has a mehendi ceremony where the bridal party gets painted with henna. 3 ladies came to our house and spent hours painting different designs on us all. arzoo's henna was of course the most elaborate work, trailing all the way up her arms and covering her feet and legs as well. the henna is like a brown paste that dries and cracks and rubs off the skin after 2-3 hours, leaving behind red tattoos that last for days/weeks. i still have faded evidence on the palms of my hands. note the peacock on the back of arzoo's hands. cool, eh?

mayun video clip

here is a video clip from farhan's mayun (if it works!) i was supposed to put mehendi on a leaf in farhan's hand, but chose to put it on his face instead :-) his aunt then returned the favor. apparently this signifies something will happen to me, but i couldn't understand what exactly. i hope it's something good!

arzoo & farhan's mayun

my second day in karachi was extremely busy as urooj (farhan's youngest sister) gave instructions on how to prepare for the mayun ceremony to be celebrated at the house that night. this was a double party for arzoo (farhan's older sister) and farhan as both were getting married.

during the day urooj and i made mehendi (henna) and put in in different small pots and containers. we hung thousands of marigolds (orange and yellow) as the backdrop to the platform where arzoo and farhan would sit. i've never seen so many brightly colored flowers in my whole life. it was super cool. flowers were part of every ceremony, usually worn by the bride and groom, but the guests as well. the women would all receive bracelets made of orange blossoms as they arrived. they smelled soooo good!

during the ceremonies, i would sit with the women as they sang prayers. when praying, the women keep their heads covered. the girl singing prayers for arzoo's mayun had a beautiful voice and genuinely felt the words she sang. even though i couldn't understand what she was singing, her sincerity was moving.

i don't really understand the point of farhan's mayun, but for arzoo it signaled the beginning of several days where she would stay home always wearing yellow. she even put yellow tumeric mixed with rose water on her skin. all of this was in preparation for her wedding, when she would go from yellow to red, as a bright flame. here are farhan's dad (who i call baba), arzoo, farhan, his mom (who i call ami) and urooj in the back.

roohi's mayun

as soon as i arrived in karachi i barely had time for a shower and a nap before i was fitted for clothes and whisked away to the first (of many) wedding ceremonies. initially, farhan was not supposed to attend roohi's "mayun" because the bride and groom should not see one another. but roohi's family invited him anyway with the understanding that he'd stay far away from his bride to be. little did they know the devious nature of farhan's friend... me. toward the end of the night roohi was telling me she wanted to see farhan and one of her friends basically dared me to bring him to the stage where roohi was receiving guests. i was, of course, obliged to unite the couple. i ran off to find farhan, took him by the arm and said, "come with me." he said, "are you kidding?" but i wasn't. farhan looked pretty nervous sitting next to roohi as everyone giggled and took pictures... not because of his bride, but because of her very upset grandmother. so i got him in a little trouble. but he had just flown all the way in from america to meet his bride! the romantic in me had to intervene.

during the mayun, the bride's head is covered so you can barely see her face. throughout the first several ceremonies the bride is supposed to be bashful. this took a lot of effort on roohi's part as she is anything but bashful. here you can barely see her laughing from behind her veil. mayun colors are yellow, green and red... all of which roohi was wearing.

as women offer prayers and sing songs, different family members and friends come up to bless the bride. roohi held a leaf in her hand as people came up to smear things on it (like henna). women would also take money, circle it around roohi's head three times, and then put it before her. this money is then collected and given to the poor. then they give her sweet things to eat, similar to donut holes. i was mesmerized by this whole process.

the big departure

i'm back in one piece, so it's time to put together a chronicle of karachi events... starting with the journey to mc paki's homeland (um, that would be farhan).
here's mike getting ready to drop me off and say goodbye. hmmm... he doesn't look too upset...our long layover in london was made even longer when our plane needed a few parts... but the lovely flight crew bought us krispy kreme donuts to hold us over. hurray!after 40 hours of travel, we land in karachi. farhan's family was thrilled to see us.the first thing you see upon exiting the airport? mc donald's, of course.