Wednesday, July 11, 2007

bang bang, you're dead

today's missionary training included a hostage-taking simulation. first we were hiding out, then we were caught, then we had to choose which 3 hostages could be let go, then we were told they couldn't go and that we had to choose 2 people to be executed. i volunteered because i don't have a family back home to worry about... no one depending on me. the guys said they didn't feel comfortable with a girl getting shot. so i stayed put while tony and nick were taken. we heard two shots fired. our captors came back and demanded two more hostages to be executed. gabe and i both got up to go. i had to push people out of the way. it was all a blur. i laid on the ground... two more shots fired. the simulation ended.
the strange thing is, i was really at peace about being killed. i mean, i knew i wouldn't really be shot, so that's part of it, but i felt that it was better for me to be shot than anyone else in the group. and as i waited on the ground for the shots to be fired, i thought of everyone i'd be leaving behind... my friends and family... and i really trusted that they knew my love for them and hoped they'd be confident of the peace i felt when killed.
what an odd thing to think about.
in other not-simulated news, that biopsy i got a while back (i posted about getting stitches) yielded "suspicious" results. i have to have another biopsy tomorrow to see what's up. my boss won't let me leave until all is resolved, so please pray for a speedy and favorable report! gracias.


chris said...

how surreal! how 'bout you try NOT to get into any real hostage situations, hmmm??

Anonymous said...

Wow that sounds like an amazing experience, not amazing like wow that is really cool, but that you got a chance to feel all those things. When I hear about these situations or see them in movies, I always wonder how I would act in a crisis situation and what I would think. Would I volunteer or would I refuse to be the one executed. Would I look out for myself or would I be a part of the group. Would I risk my life to help save others. How would I feel and what would I think knowing exactly when it was that I was going to die. I like to think that I would be the team player, the volunteer and unafraid but I will hopefully never know. The simulation let you learn things about yourself that most people (thankfully) never get to learn about themselves. They say that crisis situations shows someone's true character and this simulation truly showed what a caring, selfless, generous, amazing, giving, and faithful person that you are deep down. I am proud of you. Love you. - Megan

lauren said...

well megan, the thing is, i knew all the other hostages AND their families. each face represented a spouse and kids too. when faced with that, it was an easy decision to make. i wonder if i'd respond the same way if all the hostages were strangers? i'm not sure i would?? chances are, i'll never have to find out :)

Anonymous said...

ryan says i shouldn't be freaked out by this post because you could get shot in baltimore too. it was weird how comforting it wasn't.

i'm hoping for good results w/ your biopsy.