Friday, May 18, 2007

hello soap box

rarely do i write anything of consequence on this blog. some may even wonder what the point is half the time (and yet you're still reading!) but the time has come for me to get a little preachy. or thoughtful. or angry. whatever.

i have a problem. it's called men cheating (girls can cheat too, but i'm going to stick it to the man this go round). i mean, really. WHY? what in the world are you thinking?!?! what's the point?!?! what's so hard about breaking up with one girl before hooking up with another? do you think you're doing the girl a favor? you're NOT! ridiculous. really. and while i've been cheated on several times (am i a cheater magnet?) that's actually not why i'm mad. when i get cheated on, i get hurt. but when one of my friends gets cheated on, i get angry! (and right now i'm mad at you, mr. visor-wearing-blockhead.)

do you know what a girl feels like after a guy cheats on her? betrayed. rejected. not good enough. when, HELLO, clearly she's worth quite a bit. definitely worth a man that can be loyal. where does that leave you, mr. cheater? i think it leaves you with a lot of questions. you need to sit in time-out and seriously consider who you are and why you act the way you do. cheating is indicative of some issues you need to confront, and i hope to God that you are man enough to do so.

i believe in forgiveness as well as change, and i believe in you, mr. cheater. i believe that you too are created in the image of God. i believe that God can heal whatever it is in you that's broken. shoot. i even love you. but until you're in a place where you can sustain a healthy relationship and make healthy decisions, please stay away from all the nice girls out there. it's just plain mean not to.

and to the ladies, you are good enough. i promise. i am too.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

is this someone i need to be angry for, or a friend i don't know, in which case i am still angry?
--susanne

E1st said...

I tried to post this last night, but the Lifetime Blogging Network filters nabbed me before I could get in.

Has your gender still not noticed that visor wearing frat boys make for poor potential mates? I mean, visors and that dreamy meat headery are super hot and everything, but gee whiz, perhaps there's a correlation? You mean to tell me those obnoxious objectifying fratties from college are still obnoxious objectifying slobs in the real world? Get out!

lauren said...

susanne... you don't know her, but she would def be your friend!

eric... since when are visors and frat boys synonymous? it just so happens that neither visor boy, nor my most recent encounter with cheating were affiliated with fraternal organizations. and i'm a little disappointed you'd make such a blanket statement. you're more intelligent than that.

Crissy said...

You said it, sista!

Peter said...

Why not make your post about cheating in general? I can't answer the question that you pose but I would bet that men cheat for much the same reasons that women cheat and men also feel all those things you described (though perhaps not in the same "Waiting to Exhale" spirit of sisterly camaraderie). Don't go setting any cars on fire, Lauren.

Anonymous said...

lauren, i was going to write the same thing to your friend. just because someone's a "frat boy" doesn't mean they'll cheat, or not. the boys who've cheated on me seemed super nice. yeah, you hope to be smart enough to be able to tell whether a guy is decent or not. but if you could tell that for certain, no one would be cheated on, would they?

and yes, you can say the same thing about girls-- that there are some types that are more prone to cheat than others. but again, if you could tell by type, no one would get cheated on...

--susanne

Dave said...

Hm. I can't say as I've ever had any trouble with cheating, though as a male, I suppose that's less uncommon. I can't imagine cheating on anyone; my memory's not good enough to keep track of lies and excuses. Plus, I hate the idea of hurting someone like that.

On the other hand, I did wear a visor once, and ended up accidentally joining a frat and cheating on 6.5 girls in two days...

Dave said...

On an entirely different note, I should probably change that profile pic, for the sake of people who don't really know me.

Anonymous said...

It wasn't me.

E1st said...

Blogger ate my comment again last night.

In summary:
1) There's no correlation between blanket statements and intelligence.
2) As with anything, including visors, blanket statements have their utility. Try living life without drawing conclusions from a common pool of experience. It's silly not to learn from the past, and it is also inadvisible to avoid extrapolating into the future based on information gained in the past.
3) Also like visors, especially when one wears them upside down allowing water to pool on one's head when it rains, blanket statements can be self-defeating, leaving one stuck in the soggy mess of preconceived notions. Wet blanket statements, we'll call them.

I said a few other things too, but I can't remember what. I definitely said something about Dave's picture - it has to stay, especially the 1/2 inch version. The regular size one looks like a normal person with complicated facial hair, but if you squint the right way at the tiny one, it looks like a stoned Giovanni Ribivisi (or whatever that guy's name is) mixed with the main character from "My Name is Earl". If I could pull that image off, I would in a heart beat.

bessjankowski said...

"Men also feel all those things you described (though perhaps not in the same "Waiting to Exhale" spirit of sisterly camaraderie)."

That's the best thing I've ever heard! Can I borrow it?

bessjankowski said...

I just sat down and wrote this whole big thing about why men cheat, but then deleted it. The issue doesn't deserve this much of my (or anyone's) time.

Bottom line: men wouldn't cheat if women didn't make such a huge deal out of it.

lauren said...

bess, we're at odds... again. that's okay.

eric, though blanket statements have their place and don't necessarily correlate with lack of intelligence, i still think you could have said something a bit smarter. or a bit less like you've got a chip on your shoulder. (i say this with love...)